Random men speaking to you

Teitetua. Another question if you dont mind.
I sometimes talk randomly to men on the street, in a train, bus , shop, whereever. Would that mean I then have some power over them?

TeiTetua. You dont think that the ops example was bullying or sexual harassment do you?

WithTheDude post 17.49pm.
No, I cant see the problem. You may need to elaborate.
Yes, if a man was being rude or aggressive.
But in the ops example, the man was not being rude or aggressive.

I speak to - and am spoken to - by men and women alike. It has never bothered me. I find I'm more likely to have someone speak to me if I'm in a good mood and smiley - people talk to people who look friendly. I was on my own chatting to some tourists in a book shop the other day (grandad, dad, and three small boys) - it was nice, not weird in the slightest.

In what universe is conversation peculiar or threatening? I don't understand the OP at all. Life is much more pleasant if you assume people are being friendly, which is almost always the case.

Isn't interested in sport sorry.

I've been out with DH when other men have made random comments to him. Often about sport (either based on some big current event or thinking DH supports a team or assuming the DH is South African). It's fine. DH makes a random comment back, they laugh and everyone goes on their way.
The fact that DH isn't interested in support, doesn't have a team and isn't South African has never prevented a friendly exchange.

Oh dear. I'm always talking to people in the street. Men, women, small children, dogs if they'll stay still long enough...
I thought I was being sociable but obviously I'm just creeping folk out. I shall cease and desist forthwith.

I don't really get what the big deal with being spoken to by men is. Normal behaviour surely?

I think HollaAtMeBaby (that name??) is saying it right:

This drives me crazy. I feel like a lot of men feel entitled to talk to/disturb/harass any woman they see. It's a subtle way of reminding us who has the power.

It's bullying, sexual harassment. Even if it stays in the limits of more or less polite communication, it's a demonstration that a woman has no right to be left alone.

On the other hand, if you meet a stranger (anyone) on a lonely mountain top, you are required to exchange a few words. In the city, no.

It's normal in parts of the US for people to talk to one another in the street. The only time i've had random men speak to me in the UK in the street has been for the purpose of being rude and aggressive.

Kim several posters to this thread have said men do. I would go further and say that they should and I encourage people to talk to other people in the street, shop, pub, everywhere.

So they do it to women because they find us less threatening?

Do you not see the problem with that?

I would imagine that men find us women on the whole, softer than other men, less frightening.
Most men find other men, especially men larger than them, intimidating.

My post was to FromEsme, but anyone can answer.

Can I ask why you personally dont like it.
You dont find it sinister or threatening.
Presumably you dont feel nicer for the encounter afterwards?

You do say it takes up your time
And you do say they are "judging your worth".

Am I right in thinking you think they are looking and talking to you like a piece of meat? Or have I got that wrong?

You dont have to answer that if you dont want to.

I agree with the op and Esme. It is so very obvious when men are doing it be arseholes. Shouting "hello love" from the other side of the street is part of street harassment. The fact that male posters don't understand that it can be intimidating for that to happen to women is the problem.

Men don't experience anywhere near the street harassment women do. Some of you may want to read up about Hollaback

Also, stereotypes based on nationality are offensive.

I'm not sure anyone's arguing that it's sinister and or threatening.

They're mostly arguing that a. it happens and b. it's annoying for some.

I'm mostly interested in the pure fact that it happens. Men talk to women in the street, where women don't generally talk to men or other women, and men don't talk to other men.

Fair enough if you either a. don't agree that that's the case or b. find nothing interesting about the fact that it does. That's fine. But there's no point in trying to argue that anyone's saying they find it sinister.

Great, you like people talking to you in the street. Personally I find it annoying. Both views are fine and both are equally valid. I resent being made out to be some sort of anti-social weirdo for not wanting to talk to people I don't know.

My point is there's nothing sinister about a man saying hi or making a comment about falling on the ice. Just as if it was a woman saying it.

Holla, I have seen this argument made before, that men "feel" they are "entitled" to talk to women and this is some kind of harassment. Wolf whistles, leering, making public comments, about how you look, what you are wearing, what they think about you are all harassment. Not acceptable, just like racist or homophobic behaviour language would be.

I cannot see though that a bloke saying "Hello Love" from across the other side of the street, not followed by "get your baps out for the lads" is harassment".

Enimmead, I get what you mean by the three blokes, but not that the comment which was made would worry you. Why would he not take the opportunity to embaress even further his friend who fell. It was not an invitation to talk about the Israel Palestine situation it was just a quick reply that was called for. I worry that young people, boys and girls are becoming more demonised so that even when they try and engage people with just a throw away comment it is seen as a threat. Women should be able to walk where and when they want, but fear of others is also keeping both generations and sexes apart.