Random men speaking to you

madwomanintheattic.

Yup.

Last winter, I slipped on a slight incline as the snow I was walking on (carrying a huge open box of small paint brushes, Christmas decorations and my car keys) had sheet ice underneath it.

I did a full-on comedy banana skin routine, ending up with both legs shooting out in front of me, the box heading skywards as my arms windmilled, and I landed unceremoniously bang splat on my arse, with paintbrushes raining down around me.

I scrambled to my feet as my fast as the ice and general deshabille would allow, and called out to the poor bloke shoveling his drive over the road (who I do not know from Adam) 'oh, my god. Did you see that?'

Was I in some way harassing him?

I talk to complete strangers in the street all the time. And they talk to me. Men and women.

Talking. Momentary links with strangers in an isolated world. I think it's necessary for the soul.

I've been groped in the street by a random. That was harassment. I'm dead against random gropers, me. People that talk to me? Yay. More of it, please.

Long hair and leathers might be seen as a bit scary Tiggy.

I didn't know that Kim.

Makes no difference anyway.

"So they do it to women because they find us less threatening?"

Mostly this ^ I think.
As a young gentleman I didn't get man hellos. During the time I had long hair and wore a leather jacket I got no hellos and people would stand on the train rather than sit next to me. The older, and possibly less threatening I get, the more casual greetings/remarks I get.

Well, I think one conclusion from this thread is that the geographical variation dwarfs the gender variation.

In fact I have just remembered my dad would say to my sister "c'mon hen away and get yer coat on and we will get tae the miners club for the first bingo."

Kim that's very interesting. Why do you think it is? Are they trying to chat you up now, are they more intimidated by men than by women, or something else?

When I went travelling alone, I struck up many many conversations with strangers on public transport, at tourist places and so on, because strangers were the only people to talk to! In those situations I thought (although have no evidence to compare it to) that being a woman worked to my advantage, because people of all genders were happy to chat back to me and didn't seem intimidated, as they might have been if randomly chatted to by a man.

The hen thing I agree as I said could be seen or heard even as being less than friendly, however it is all in the context abit like using the word love. Sisters and mothers I have heard saying hen to each other, as well as father to daughter.

Where I come from you are either "darling", "love", "sweetheart", "lass" or "boy".

Some posters on here would have a field day if they ever went there.

kim147
"My point is that men do not seem to make a comment at random to a bloke they see in the street. Not a friendly hi or anything like that. They just walk down the street."

And yet men have come on here and said that they do talk to other men that they don't know on the street.

See now I live in't country. Way up north in the chillyness that is Scotland.
If I were walking down my road and a man going the other way didn't say hello I'd think he was odd! He would say hi aye to my dh too not just to a woman!
So maybe it depends on where you live!

One of the advantages of getting older is that I can talk to anyone without anything being read into it.

'Hen' isn't a mark of respect. It's dialect but not as a mark of respect.

Kim,i say hello to men and women if i pass them in the street,not in a busy street,but on the street no less.
Maybe if you said hello to passers by then they would be friendly back to others if not to you personally.

It is a wonder some people dare open their mouths! A bit of friendly banter cheers up the day.

Bore on Esme.

You've been at it all day.

And I suppose your wee rant there has made the world a LESS miserable place, eh?

And so fucking what if someone says 'hi love'.

Just so what.

At least they're being friendly.

Talk about making the world a miserable place.

Jeez,are you lot still arguing about a guy who slipped on the fucking ice.

I would have laughed out load.

The young man was not being a sexist twat,just making a jokey aside to a passing person.

Say hello to the next person you pass in the street,you may make their day.

Kim I would not use the word "love" in any form of greeting. The fact that some people not just men do this I have always seen as patronising. I acknowledge though that in parts of the uk it seems to be a very fixed part of local dialect which again both men and women employ equally. To know that it is meant as a sexist or sexual remark means assuming that this is the way it is intended every time it is used.

In Scotland we have the term "Hen" that used to be used a lot and in fact can still be found in some places as a form of address of exclusively females. In fact one of our most cherished Scottish icons, the "Sunday Post" has a cartoon strip that still uses the phrase. I would imagine this would drive most women wild, and I never use it for that reason. But it is an example of local dialect that could be argued as nothing more than a respectful way of addressing someone. www.dsl.ac.uk/