Random men speaking to you

But it is absolutely crucial to the conversation we are having. It is still your personal experience, but you have seen it from both perspectives and you have a valid comparison.

Again though i am highlighting the difference between normal interactions and more sexist remarks etc.
To me the main difference isn't so much what you say, it is the intent. In other words whether the interaction is to make the other person feel better or worse.

... A quick nudge to our male contributors: Men telling women how wrong they are about experiences of being a woman is a shining example of 'male privilege'.

There are as many women who disagree as well. Why is it that many women who do not usually contribute to the feminism forums say that you are not describing their lives. I interact with women from all walks of life in my job and socialise with female friends and workmates and I have never known one to mention the tedious frequency that men make sexist approaches to them while they are just going about their business.

Garlic

IMHO you have been very sucessfull in explaining the sheer, everyday normality of men's boundary-crashing behaviours ver well and I apologise if I've not acknowledged that in my replies.

I do not think you are anti social so have not judged you at all. If anything you have been more than social/courteous in helping me (a total stranger) understand a bit more about an unknown subject. My questions haven't been aimed at you directly but more theoretically (kind of devils advocate if you like) so apologies again if it has appeared that I've been digging at your personal judgement.

As with NCG though it is the subtler stuff that I'm grappling with and how this fits in with the concept of privilege.

OK. Fair enough, clearly picked the wrong thread. I'll be off.

I doubt that anybody would expect you to read every post in every thread that you contribute to "AvonCallingBarksdale". Your contribution is just as valued in this thread as any other thread.

Well, after 18 days and 19 pages, a rather important fact. Amazing. Is this what is known as drip feeding?

Seriously, you can't get better evidence than TWO people having seen it from both genders' pov. I referred to magazines & TV shows who cross-dress a man, which also invariably find the same problem, and was likewise ignored.

But, hey, we really should pay more attention to men telling us how wrong we are about what happens when you're a woman [sigh]

... A quick nudge to our male contributors: Men telling women how wrong they are about experiences of being a woman is a shining example of 'male privilege'.

and

Mmm...apologies Kim, perhaps I should have said "she has been a man and she is now a woman". I didn't want to imply that nowadays you are, I don't know, an octopus or something.....

Larry - I think using "men" or "the patriarchy" to signify some men is a bit disingenuous. It is a bit like a man beginning a sentence "women"

You want me to say "some patriarchies"? Really?

kim147 made about 25 posts all saying the same thing, all of which were completely ignored. And what she said was that she has been a man, and she has been a woman, and that as a woman she is treated differently.

OK. Fair enough, clearly picked the wrong thread. I'll be off.

And I have read it all.

Your whole crux, Enimead, seems to be that you were treated differently because you are a woman. That may be true. However, those of us are struggling with your predicament cannot see why or how you reached this conclusion. You have certainty, but I cannot see why.

I think a key difference is whether someone is talking to you or at you. And whether they are paying any attention to your response at all.

No, I know it's annoying when people don't read the thread, but the reality is that I just don't have time to read 18 pages. I suppose the question is whether you think that should preclude people from contributing or not.

Oh, and what Inde says ^^

First off, I haven't RTT, just the first and last pages.

But... seriously, what's wrong with people chatting to other people? I say hello/morning/afternoon whatever, to many people, most of whom I don't know. Random men and women pass greetings to me. What's wrong with that . I may be missing something here, or perhaps I'm too vacuous to "get it". (wonders back to Chat and AIBU)

Stubborn,

He persisted when you clearly indicated that you were not interested. That is plain rude and unpleasant. The conversation that you mention in this post is completely different from: "nice day", "sorry, but I am not in the mood for conversation". And invading personal space is also intimidatory.

"Decent looking" as in one who looks like a decent kind of friendly chap, not physically good looking.

Garlic,

I think using "men" or "the patriarchy" to signify some men is a bit disingenuous. It is a bit like a man beginning a sentence "women" and following up with some sexist generalisations and then, when challenged, claiming he did not mean all women, just a significant minority. It really is not hard to add "some", "most" or "a few" depending on what you are trying to say. It completely changes the tone of a post and makes it far less accusatory to a general audience including men.

*But an awful lot of men do not respect a woman's right not to engage with them.

It happens to all of us at times. What most men don't realise is the tedious frequency with which it happens to women, and how threatening it can be.*

This.

I had better clarify that I know outright sexist behaviour is crossing a line. I'm referring to milder social interaction that some in this thread see as offensive.

I get random pensioners - men and women.

Weird.
I try not to make eye contact and scuttle off ASAP.