Why am I struggling to cut dd's hair short?

clanger you are lovely!

lots of people with curly hair wash their hair pretty infrequently -every 2 weeks is not unusual

I wash mine more because I work in a very dusty environment but if I have a fortnight off I will only wash it once

I have always had short hair. Everyone thought I was a boy but that was more to do with what I wore I think, I didn't want to wear dresses and my mother didn't make me (apart from the awful bridesmaid episode). I've got short hair now, when it grows I just chop it a bit. I even let the DC cut it with safety scissors DD has a short bob, I'd like to cut it shorter because it's very fine she wants it long. Because all the girls she knows have long hair. I've said she can grow it if she /let's me brush it twice a day. Otherwise it gets cut. Also i'm rubbish at bobbles and clips. Although luckily, at 4, she wants to do it herself. This results in some looks from patents at school but ...
So, ramble, ramble I think you should cut it because she wants you to and it would be easier.

You only wash your hair once a fortnight?
You are either lying, or you stink. I work with airline pax and you can smell the ones who don't wash their hair from a mile away.

The child wants short hair, so cut it and then give her the confidence to say "I'm a girl" job done. But she probably already has the confidence, that gets kicked out of you later when you realise that to be a girl, you must look like one, act like one and be deferential to men and apologise if you are in anyway displeasing in looks or behaviour. By insisting she have long hair you are reinforcing the idea that women/girls can only be valued by some pre-conceived idea of what is feminine. She might grow up flat chested, above average height, live in trousers and want to be an engineer, what will you do then? instead of focusing on what she looks like, focus on how she feels and what she wants and what she says.

I have very curly hair.

I wash and dry it on average once a fortnight.

Inbetween, my morning routine is, get up, shower, dress, look in the mirror and smile.

That is it, I am not one for faffing with my hair and I haven't been to the hairdresser or cut my own hair for years.

So please don't think Im suggesting lenghty ablutions in order to look pretty for the boys,.

Why should little girls have to undergo lengthy, uncomfortable hairbrushing sessions in the morning, when no-one insists on tedious grooming routines for little boys?

They absolutely shouldn't.

But that is my point!

Hair is only a big deal if you make it one.

It shouldn't and doesn't have to hurt.

SGM

I wasn't one of those people, I told my story from the point of being the child.

I didn't like having long hair one day, then having none the next.

I won't go into it, but my hair being cut off was practically a ceremony!

Ive heard all about the politics behind feminism, I was raised by a feminist.

why don't you cut it shorter as an interim step? Maybe she will be happy enough with it? My dd had long hair and it got knotty and she hated having it brushed too. She also refused to wear ponytails/plaits/hair bands or slides, so in the end I had it cut into a bob - fringe about a cm above eyebrows and hair straight cut just below ears. It really suits her, she still looks like a girl and hair hardly gets knotted and never in eyes/mouth now.

Most hairdressers don't recommend a drastic cut, but if it's long, go first for above shoulder length and work your way up if she still wants to go shorter.

I've already asked myself, and the answer is "I don't know". As I said. I do know that when I cut my hair off, my face shape, my comparatively big eyes and my long neck become really apparent - in one way, it's about emphasising my best features, instead of hiding behind impractical long hair.

Why should little girls have to undergo lengthy, uncomfortable hairbrushing sessions in the morning, when no-one insists on tedious grooming routines for little boys?

why are you even brushing curly hair?

wash it, condition it + leave a bit of the conditioner in the hair

when she gets out of the bath get her to turn her head upside down and run your fingers through it, and then just leave it

if it looks untidy in the morning, sprits with water and give it a quick scrunch

I have curly hair, my mum cut it and then when I was old enough for her to let me grow it, I spent 3 years looking like a mushroom -I used to have enough kirby grips in my hair to try and tie it up, I kept them in business

as if the teenage years aren't bad enough

TheSmallClanger

There is no need at all for hairbrushing to be painful.

Your last question, ask yourself.

Forgetting all the rest, if one human being, of whatever age/gender, says "please cut my hair off" why on earth not do so?

The issue isn't the time spent with the brush, it's the pain it's causing this little girl, who has repeatedly requested a haircut.

Obviously, we don't give in when our DCs request everything, but if the girl wants shorter hair, and her mum can see the benefits, it should be a win-win situation.

Amber, haircuts are not about making a political point. It's only hair for fucks' sake, why is women's hair so pwecious and important?

LadyMargolotta

No my boys are old enough to choose their own hairstyles, they chose to have longer hair. I was fine with that because keeping it tangle free wasn't a big deal.

They are old enough to do their own hair now, but when they were younger I did it, no big deal.

They can do what they like with their hair.

Amberleaf - I assume, from what you say, that you are making a political statement by having boys with long hair.

Yes because it is hurting to have it brushed.

Five mins on the internet will tell the OP how to brush her childs hair without making her cry.

Do that and then see if she still wants it cut.

DD has bum length hair and I really want to chop it off but she doesn't want me to! She's almost 4.

I always had it cut when she was smaller, cut very short, like a pixie cut.

My son has a ponytail,

go figure

Amber this child has asked for it to be cut.

Thats bollocks.

I used the word managed, because some seem to find it a huge issue.

Curly hair is not hard work. Unless you make it hard work.

Its faff all to do with the patriachy, its about being bothered or not to put a brush though a childs hair in the morning.

I'd cut it.

When I was young we all had short hair (and no conditioner), now the fashion is for long, but that's all it is, fashion. And so impractical.

And so what if people think she's a boy...who cares?

In my experience, the people who will "mistake" a little girl with short hair for a boy are trying to make some stupid point about gender and hairstyles

In my experience, people that cut off little girls hair, are trying to make some stupid point about gender and hairstyles.

KRITIQ

No extra grooming time is necessary if you learn how to care for particular hair types, its no big deal.

I think it is far more damaging to a childs self image to have their 'unruly' curls chopped off, just to make it easier for their parent to manage.

Curly hair is not that difficult to manage. Curly hair is not bad hair.

All three of my boys have had at some point long hair, their hair is very curly, yet we still manage fine. It's no big deal and they are now old enough to care for it themselves anyway.

This goes both ways, you shouldn't use your daughters hair to make a political point, anymore than one should use it to conform to societal gender requirements IMO.

I don't think it was any coincedence that my hair being cut off coincided with the start of my Mums journey into radical feminism!

Anyway, Im quite possibly projecting.

If a child wants short or longer hair, their wishes should be respected.

There are two issues here, if its about conforming, then Id say to any Mothers, do what you like to yourself, but listen to what your daughter wants, don't push your ideals onto her.

If its about managability [sp?] then learn how to deal with the hair type, there is no excuse, the internet has masses of info on how to easily care for curly hair types. Don't chop it all of just because you see it as the 'wrong' sort of hair.