Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

So I have a theory on why women feel unsafe in short skirts!

32 replies

PosieParker · 09/11/2012 18:44

I think if you walk home at night in 'sexy' attire you are more likely to be a victim of casual abuse, wolf whistled, shouted at, etc. Therefore you feel unsafe and the ultimate in 'unsafe' is rape.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
MooncupGoddess · 10/11/2012 18:44

The idea that women wearing clothing that is close-fitting/low cut/short are more likely to suffer sexual assault seems intuitively logical to many people, because they see women dressed like this as signalling that they are potentially up for a sexual encounter; and they assume that men who commit sexual assault would actually prefer a consensual encounter, but have misread the signals or are feeling horny and let their standards of behaviour slip.

In fact, however men who commit sexual assault want to commit sexual assault, and sometimes (at least, so it seems from the evidence) enjoy sexually assaulting women who are dressed/presenting themselves in a totally non-sexual way. E.g., schoolgirls, women in jeans and woolly jumpers and (ugh) mothers with small children.

LastMangoInParis · 10/11/2012 17:52

I feel safe wearing short skirts.
Used to feel safe wearing ridiculously impractical high heeled shoes and short skirts/shorts/fishnets/footless gold tights when I was younger and could be bothered/wanted to dress like that. And that was staggering home through supposedly 'rough' areas at any time of the day or night (usually night).
Never got intimidated/abused/threatened. NOt once. (Got quite sore feet and cold legs though.)

On the other hand, when younger still I was chased along several streets in a 'naice' area by a man who tried to pull me into his car. I was 14 and wearing my (winter) school gear.

I really think how safe you are/feel has little to do with what you're wearing.
(In relation to other people's behaviour, obviously, not e.g. cross country running in stilettos. That would be very unwise.)

44SoStartingOver · 10/11/2012 17:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FastidiaBlueberry · 10/11/2012 17:35

Interesting about how women dressed in order to display the status of their owners. As LRD says, the catcalling etc. is a hangover from the days when that ownership status was explicit rather than implicit and it is a rebuke from men that we are out on the street without our owner.

If you say that to a man (or a woman) they are incredulous: but women don't get cat-called when they're with men, only when they are alone or with other women. It's a reminder to us, that we don't have the right to be on the street and we're only there on sufferance. It reminds us to know our place. Because non-misogynist men, don't shout at women in the street, only misogynists do.

colditz · 10/11/2012 12:10

I am nearly always in a short skirt. I find them reallyb comfortable and practical because I'm so short that trousers drag on the floor and get wet, meaning I end up soaked to the knee and cold all day. Give me a short skirt and boots any day!

goralka · 10/11/2012 12:01

I don't feel safe wearing any skirt of knee length or above without jeans or thick legging underneath, probably due to dreadful memories of school having things shoved up your skirt by 'amusing' boys......
I do like the short skirt/shorts and thick tights and docs or trainers look tho, although I daresay that would be a bit 'muttony'.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 10/11/2012 11:58

I think that's exactly it - lots of women do believe rape myths.

As to why we discuss rape myths - these all go back to society believing it has the right to control women's bodies. So that means, believing it has the right to control their bodies and their sexuality. In many times (including some modern-day societies we can all think of) women were literally not meant to go out of the house without a chaperone. In many more, what women wore was another way of displaying a man's wealth or status, or the fact she belonged to him. So married women would dress differently from unmarried women.

Obviously in the UK we'd like to think we've put those cultures behind us, but we're actually still seeing the remnants of them when someone say 'I wouldn't like to see my wife go out dressed like that' or 'John wouldn't let me walk home alone'.

Rape myths are a way of enforcing taboos that have been more-or-less torn down.

PosieParker · 10/11/2012 07:26

I'm impressed but perhaps people who frequent this board are more likely to understand that there is no link, perhaps I just seem to associate with a number of women who believe rape myths. It's the discussions surrounding rape (or the West Mercia's posters) that have dragged up, I'm alright walking home as long as I'm not dressed tarty, or I'm alright walking home if I have flats on etc. I wondered if the rape myth about slutty dress leads to rape was because women are more likely to be catcalled.

Seems as if women I know, not myself as I a)never walk home at night and b)I don't wear revealing clothes, are exceptional. But if that were the case then why do we even discuss "she 's asking for it?" type rape myth.

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 09/11/2012 23:24

I never felt unsafe wearing short skirts, but I was young and fit and only wore them with converse or Dr Martens.

I've never been a victim of casual abuse because I was wearing a short skirt, apart from one time when I was wearing a mini-skirt and DMs and a club bouncer checked out my legs and offered me a lift home. Hmm But I think that would have happened even if I were wearing jeans.

I think long lucious hair will attract as much unwated attention as short skirts.

IME, worldwide, wearing lipstick will get you the biggest amount of abuse from men. There must be some secret code that in manycountries the only women who wear lipstick are prostitutes or something. But I wouldn't say I feel unsafe wearing lipstick. Not in the UK, anyway.

MooncupGoddess · 09/11/2012 23:13

That is just awful, SGM.

StewieGriffinsMom · 09/11/2012 23:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FastidiaBlueberry · 09/11/2012 22:45

I don't think that I have been whistled at more when I wear a short skirt or "sexy" attire than I wear normal clothes. I get more casual abuse if I'm riding my bike or running, than if I'm tarted up in party clothes.

Women feel unsafe because men threaten them. Simples.

CoteDAzur · 09/11/2012 21:51

Read your thread, Posie. Do you really feel like you know how women feel about short skirts in the Uk?

MooncupGoddess · 09/11/2012 21:48

I've never felt scared or unsafe while wearing a short skirt. I would feel unsafe in high heels, but I don't wear them (mostly because they're too uncomfortable and I can't run for the bus, but the safety thing is a secondary consideration).

Sunnywithachanceofshowers · 09/11/2012 21:45

I wish! :D

It was about 10 years ago and I was fucking terrified by the bloke who was shouting about my tits. I was covered up from head to toe.

InNeedOfBrandy · 09/11/2012 21:44

Stealth boast there sunny Grin

ArbitraryUsername · 09/11/2012 21:39

I have no problem walking around at night with a short skirt on. I wasn't aware I should feel unsafe.

Things like the situation or area might make me feel unsafe, but not what I'm wearing.

Sunnywithachanceofshowers · 09/11/2012 21:14

I've never felt unsafe in a short skirt and I do live in the UK.

I got shouted and wolf whistled at in my winter coat.

PosieParker · 09/11/2012 21:07

Cote perhaps you cannot really comment about how women feel in the UK as you've never lived here.Shock

OP posts:
PosieParker · 09/11/2012 21:07

Erm I never wear short skirts.

But I have a number of friends who say that they feel okay about walking home late at night if they're wearing trousers/flat shoes and not 'going out' clothes.

OP posts:
CoteDAzur · 09/11/2012 20:53

I've never felt unsafe in a short skirt & never heard of anyone who does.

Aside from OP, does anyone feel unsafe in a short skirt?

SufferingLampreys · 09/11/2012 20:50

I don't feel unsafe in a short skirt
I do feel ridiculous rhough

InSPsFanjoNoOneHearsYouScream · 09/11/2012 20:46

What's the point in a skirt if my fanjo doesn't get to breathe Grin

ArbitraryUsername · 09/11/2012 20:43

InSPsFanjo: that's what thermal tights are for. I was in asda today and I noticed they sell fleece lined tights.

ArbitraryUsername · 09/11/2012 20:41

I have a short skirt on now. I feel perfectly safe.