maninism/mens rights!!

@Xenia,
how do you work out that that two parents working full time will be better off?
Surely that comes down to the ages of the children?
For many couples it simply does not add up for both to work full time once you take into account childcare.
Those hard working tax payers you talk about, I was once one of them, do I not have a right to use the benefit system if I need?
Next you will be saying 'only have kids if you can afford it'
Can I borrow your crystal ball sometime?

Apologies for the mistype -I meant deserving, not searching.

Why do your think your are searching of respect when you come on here do the verbal equivalent of stamping your feet like an angry toddler?

And how far do your think this petulant and aggressive "I demand respect" behaviour will get you with court officers, cafcass, judges etc?

I've not aggravated anyone.
However when you use shouty capitals in your OP, ie 'and that your children's happiness is actually MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR OWN!'.
Perhaps you should have used 'their' rather than 'your', as it implies you are shouting a mums/women in general.
Writing this in second person pov, implies you are addressing the reader.

I was giving practical advice. My advice to women is never put your career on the back burner. It never pays off.

After divorce most people onaverage earnings find life very difficult whatever their gender as two homes are to be kept rather than one. If they had both kept up full time careers there would be less change the become a burden on hard working tax payers through the benefits system. yes, it may be hard both to work full time and manage childcare and life but it is better in the long run.

My advice to keep in touch via school events is good and people have to think laterally if they are denied contact and think of ways to stay in touch.

There are some people male and female who want all or nothing - contact on their terms or none. Some get very obssessed by it too. That tends to make things harder for them.

One way for men to improve their rights after divorce is have a fair equal marriage before where they and their wife do as much childcare and cleaning as each otehr and earn about the same and both work full time. For the second marriage try to target women committed to work rather than wasghing your socks, pick one who has not leeched off a man for money, pick a feminist, pick one who is not itching to be a housewife however convenient you might prefer that, avoid the low paid and your second marriage may be better than the first. Ensure teh second wife does not become ahousewife as you'll have a second divoerce with a similar outcome - not enough money to go around.

God, I'd be gutted to have brought up children who would only come on holiday with me if I promised them 'luxury skiing'. How sad.

In an ideal world, bot parents should have equal input into the upbringing of their child.

There.

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@Xenia,
so you think women that choose to give up careers are 'stupid'?
I think plenty would disagree with you on this.
I choose to give up my career to go down the self employed route, many people dream of quiting the rat race both male and female, so would it be fair to assume that they are all stupid?
My household income went from good middle to 'scrounging off the taxpayer', until you find yourself in such a situation perhaps it's best you don't tar everyone with the same brush.
I said in a previous post that seperation should be dealt with on an individual basis. Once something is set in stone it becomes harder to change it, so if you push for 50/50 split on everything child related is this not doing harm to those women who chose to be SAHM, as their then ex partners can then use this to their own benefit rather than that of the child's?
I'm always suspect of people who constantly go on about their 'high incomes' and 'social status', if you have it why the need to constantly flaunt it?
I wouldn't feel the need to do this if I felt secure about my life and I would show a degree of modesty as you simply cannot know everyone else's personal situations.
If we all pursue high power high earning jobs, then who will serve you in a supermarket, stack the shelves, clean etc?
I think perhaps your attitude certainly comes across as quite elitist, as it implies that you can only have worth if you have wealth.
50/50 would be great but I wouldn't want my children to feel they were being shipped off here there and everywhere.
I wonder if it's a bit 'chicken and egg' regarding why women end up with the kids.
When my dd was born I had a massive surge of overwhelming love and responsibilty for the baby I'd carried, like nothing I ever felt before, whether her father felt the same I rather doubt, simply because he doesn't have the surging hormones nor the physical act of giving birth.
I'd love to know if other new mum's felt this and if they did, could we conclude that this does set us up as primary caregiver as we feel more the need to protect our offspring?
Sorry going off topic here!
To the OP, I have come to conclude that it's better to keep your own counsel,
by all means seek out the oppinions of others, but don't do it in a way that will aggravate them!
Search the net, read, ask people and then draw your own conclusions as ultimately only you can do what is right for you.

Considering this is supposed to be about your child this thread seems to have focused an awful lot on your feelings jive and how hard done by you are.

Well, you're being abusive and controlling to us. I can't see any reason why you wouldn't be that way with a woman in your life.

O really? Not just an internet tough guy then? Maybe that's why you're having problems with your ex if she shits herself when you walk in the room as you so eloquently put it. everyone being scared of you is nothing to be proud of really is it.

Actually I think a lot of men behave very badly, I'd say that more men behave badly than women.
I don't think that most men are crap, but most men who think they're treated unfairly probably aren't.

There certainly is a major issue for men and women that the resident parent can stop all contact and then in a sense be rewarded for that as the new status quo is not parents half the time which may have been the case before divorce but 100% with one. The courts then may order some minial pathetic contact like once a fortnight and the residen tparent then totally ignores that and it is hard to get anything done.

What non resident parents of either gender can do is (a ) have good lawyers (b) take all opportunities for contact - go to every single sports match the children are in, every school play, sports day, all parents' eveniings and (c) ensure you live very near the children. Try to keep in touch by email, skype and text and blackberry messenger. Also remember children are very bribable - mine come on holiday because it's luxury skiing holidays. If I offered a wet weekend in a tent the older ones would never come. Also remember children of 13+ can choose with which parent to live so bide your time.

Most of all ensure you never have sexism in the marriage whilst you are married. Do as much housework as your wife and childcare and encourage her to pursue a carer and work full time even if it means you wash your own shirts. Such gender equality in marriage then tends to be reproduced after divorce.

Stop trying to shut people up.

Ok, I think that a minority of women who prevent or limit access are in the wrong, most of the time when a man isn't involved in their children's lives it's for the better.

Yes, parenting should be more equal. The reason it isn't is because an awful lot of men are abusive controlling dickheads.

What were the other incidences in which she put his health in danger?

Ok. I've read the thread and I don't understand what you want. And when I ask you what you want you tell me to shut up. Very rational and reasonable. And what on earth do you mean by "shock tactics"? I suspect many of us have been shocked by better men than you!