maninism/mens rights!!

You miss my point. He isn't a crap Dad but he is limited in his abilities-not that it might not improve.

What I'm saying is that I know he would spout freely about this perceived gross injustice and how he had to take me to court etc to fight for his rights - whereas if he'd been less aggressive and more co operative in the first place it would have been sorted out. When I hear men bleating about this subject and how the mothers use the kids as a weapon and blah - i do raise an eyebrow and think - ok, I'll hear the other parents side before I cast judgement.

So you're assuming the judge, court officers, people in a position of authority will be men? That's interesting.

How do you imagine they will respond if you behave like you have done on here? Have a think about that. Because if you get this wound up by a bunch of strangers on the internet to the point where you are screaming incoherent abuse you aren't going to cope very well in court.

I've been through the courts myself so I know what it's like.

Your point?

@JT
and you don't think the current system doesn't have this at heart?
I'm sure when the current legislation was drawn up it wasn't by a covern of witches who thought they'd just make a fathers life living hell.
The current legislation isn't working as it appears in your case and other fathers that it has allowed the mother to have 'more' rights.
Perhaps it is simply a case of legislation passed with the best intention but is no longer suited to our current domestic arrangements.
Perhaps it would be better for you to look at supporting a change to the curent system.

Before you go- what was your point?

So any news here? Bloke makes an inflammatory post. Mners deconstruct it and question it. Bloke gets huffy.
Yawn.

My exp is probably boasting right Joe about he forced me to allow contact with our dc by taking me to court whereas the truth is more like I stopped him seeing them on one single occasion because he was v threatening and the contact resumed prior to the court date plus the fact it was all negotiated before we even saw a magistrate and there has been no breaches. He wasn't even 'awarded' contact either - I wrote a proposal and he agreed to it. Prior to that he stated he only wanted weekend contact every other week - presume he disnt want it to interfere with his social life

Exp can, for short periods, just about cope with dc in the provision of care sense. He has proved repeatedly he cannot actually parent.

@Xenia,
so you say we should all work our way up the career ladder before having kids? Is that just one tiny jot a bit elitist?
The world was a very different place 28 years ago, I'm not sure how you compare it to life today?
Not everyone is capable of running departments or wants to work up the career ladder.

Actually, I was being specific there - most men who think they're being treated unfairly probably aren't. Based on experience and observation.
You've not addressed my point that you are being controlling to us posting here.

@JT
The issue I make with Xenia's post's is the assumption that once you have wealth everything is then okay.
Many people have seen their incomes wiped out by the current economic climate.
Wealth doesn't always last, as Kirsty Mccoll sang, 'From the sharks in the penthouse to the rats in the basement, it's not that far'.

Xenia is agreeing with your viewpoint, that's why you say hers are valid, you've completely ignored my previous post. It's true I would be sad if my children only wanted to spend time with me on holiday if we were going somewhere luxurious as Xenia suggests is the only way. Luckily my children enjoying being anywhere with me and dh as although we are both professional there isn't that kind of money around.

Children do work things out for themselves eventually following relationship breakdowns and its often people outside the relationship who have to clear up the mess. The only reason that I see now as valid to stop contact with either parent is abuse, be that to the child or the resident parent. As for maintenance as is said often people should support their child whether they see them or not

"thanks seeker it good to hear your actual opinion i appreciate it"

I was only saying what everyone thinks. Can we stop the thread now, or do you have an actual point?

None of us has children we cannot affford.

There is an issue for men in this. Countles ones do not pay support their first familyl, would not have afford or had more children with the first wife because of lack of money but they abandon that first lot and pay nothing and have a second family they cannot afford to support with the first family too.

ava I do niot agree over ages. 28 years agowe both worked fuill time. The cost of child care was more than one of our salaries. nearly 30 years on I make well quite a lot and it was because of that early sacrifice and investment into career. Other women should do the same. You might well start small on a low salary as a man or woman but you work your way up and what starts as low pay and perhaps even working at aloss means in due course you may rise to run your department whether that be Tesco or at the call centre or being senior female surgeon at your hospital. It is a route many more girls shoudl be encouraged to follow.

Lack of money and sexism are problems on divorce. If women are desperate for childcare from men afte divorce because they work full time they are much more likely to share care 50./50 with a man. If they sit around at home all day being kept they are much more likel to use denial of contact as a weapon. Thus ensuring men and women both work and have equal roles in a relationship and do as much childcare as each other protects both men and women after divore.

OP,
yes I did read your full post, but when you start a rant that at first appears to encompass all, and then at the end say 'but I didn't mean you', then you have already got people's back's up.
I don't think it's a currently fair system, I would not want to argue for the equality of just one group as inevitably this means that another group loses ground.
I'd like things to be fair for all concerned, man, woman, child however I don't feel blanket legislation allows any space for individual circumstance.
I think sometimes the worst thing in these situations is to involve a whole raft of other people, ie, solicitors, csa etc, as it just aggravates an already difficult situation. I like the idea of mediation, which perhaps should be compulsory before any further steps are taken.l

I said a lot of men behave badly. That isn't generalising about all men.

What I said wasn't sexist.