Coerced sex IS rape

YY persuading is different to coercing. If DP wants sex and I'm not in the mood I'll either say something like "No I'm too tired" or "I could be persuaded into that" - and the persuasion will be something like a nice massage or a kiss or saying something that sets me off, and if it's not working, we forget it.

Coercing is more "But we haven't done it for ages" "I bet Steve's wife has had sex already since her baby was born" "Oh, I'm so unloved" "But look, what am I meant to do with this now?" "Come on, you'll like it when you get into it" etc etc.

I don't think it's rape (unless the coercion is something like "I won't let you go/leave until you agree" or the coerced party fears violence if they refuse) if it's just whining and sulking and stropping or threats of breaking up and the coerced party makes the free choice that they'd rather have sex they don't really want than put up with this or lose the relationship.

However, it's not very healthy for the coercee and it displays a disgusting attitude on behalf of the coercer.

EBAL, thank you for stating your opinion clearly in your OP this time.

Legally, the position is:

Section 74 defines consent as "if she agrees by choice, and has the freedom and capacity to make that choice"

Does persuade, cajole and pester mean a non-free choice under the above definition? I am not sure that it does.

However, the goal of sex shouldn't be that it is 'not-rape-as-legally-defined'. SGM (and others) linked to a good blog in the past on the concept of enthusiastic consent. I'll try and track it down when I have time but have to work now.

My girlfriend has persuaded me into having sex with her when I didn't want to. By your logic I was therefore raped, thus making me a 'rape survivor'.

I think you need to take this idea back to Research and Development...