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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Early signs you were a feminist (light-hearted)

81 replies

Lio · 25/09/2012 12:29

By chance I heard Simon & Garfunkel's cover of Scarborough Fair the other day and had a Proustian moment. I'm guessing I was 6 or 7 when I first heard this song, and I hated it because of all the 'tell her to make me' stuff. Gah! What if she didn't know how to make a cambric shirt? Make it yourself.

What early signs do you remember?

OP posts:
Empusa · 28/09/2012 11:29

I refused to wear pink to my nan's wedding, so got stuck in a hideous peach dress instead. I didn't want to wear a dress either, but was convinced by my nan that it not being pink was compromise enough. I was jealous of my brother's funky red bowtie! I was about 6 I believe

Lio · 28/09/2012 10:45

Just been catching up with this thread and was heading towards saying it's great and horrible in equal measure ? and then wintersnight said pretty much exactly what I was thinking.

The story about the railway museum/castle museum will stay with me. Wonder what happened to that boy?

OP posts:
wintersnight · 26/09/2012 20:54

This thread is depressing and inspiring in pretty much equal measures.

Badvoc · 26/09/2012 20:33

Oh god, yes.
School.
I went to a very strict catholic school -for a time :)
Boys did pottery and girls did needlework.
It sucked.
I complained loudly and at length.
Result: the other girls thought I was odd, the boys thought I was odd and the teachers hated me.
I had to do needlework in the end, much to my disgust.
In 2 years I almost completed....an apron.
:)
I was lucky when I got to 14 as 2 of my teachers were die hard feminists and I felt someone understood me at last.

Badvoc · 26/09/2012 20:30

When -age 4- I refused to wear pink for my cousins wedding. So there were 2 pink bridesmaids and me looking very cute in lemon :)
When - age 13 - I insisted on yellow icing in my 13th birthday cake...the bakery lady was deeply distressed :)
My aunts gave up on me after a while...for Xmas I stopped getting cuddly teddies (?) and pretty things and got really useful stuff like nice pens and a lovely grey cardigan :)
They dispaired of me, I think.
My sis was very into pink, sparkly shit and teddies so they still got to buy them.

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 26/09/2012 20:24

In infant school where I realised for the first time that not as much was expected of girls as it was of boys. Also the first time I heard someone say "you're OK for a girl" as I was building with lego rather than loitering in the home corner.

I was too young to know what pissed off is, but if I'd have known, thats how I would have felt.

IdCalUaCuntBtUvNtGotTheDepth · 26/09/2012 20:21

Like that. lots stidw

STIDW · 26/09/2012 19:52

PiousPrat 13:55:24 wrote;

I argued that the Bible stories we were being taught were sexist because it was only the men who were allowed to talk to God

When I was on a school trip with our son's class on little girl asked why women sat at the back of the Synagogue. Without batting an eyelid the Rabbi answered because the men needed to sit at the front near God so He could keep an eye on them. Wink

IdCalUaCuntBtUvNtGotTheDepth · 26/09/2012 18:31

:( bling

BlingLoving · 26/09/2012 18:22

When the head teacher told all of the girls that we should report men making rude and suggestive comments while we were out of school but then he said that we shouldn't wear short skirts as that's why men do it.

On that particular occasion I was especially outraged because the day before I'd had some hideous comment while wearing trackers and a jumper as it was freezing and I was on my way to a cross country race b

IdCalUaCuntBtUvNtGotTheDepth · 26/09/2012 16:12

Also while I loved lego, and tree climbing etc, I also really loved baking and taking care of dolls, whenever anyone said that was a girl things, I'd explain that dad's take care of babies and cook too. I think it's important we aren't just proud of the "masculine" seeming things we do. I have a boy and a girl and while I hope dd plays with all things I think it will do more for feminism for ds to play with so called girl things and not be taught that it's embarrassing

IdCalUaCuntBtUvNtGotTheDepth · 26/09/2012 16:06

Seeing how ridiculous it was to ask the strong boys to come help with heavy lifting etc, when I was heads and shoulders taller (an stronger) than them as per previous poster.

When my friends mother said she had to ask her husband and I said why, and she said because he is the head of our house hold Shock

Never understood why we wore dresses to school when it meant we couldn't play sports properly because we aren't supposed to show our underwear. (how can you jump rope or go down a slide in a skirt??)

AndiMac · 26/09/2012 14:39

Although I don't really think it's so much a sign of being a feminist as having strong opinions about what I wore, I was dragged kicking and screaming to Brownies because I had to wear a uniform and of course it was a dress. It was the only dress I owned for 2 years and I don't think another skirt or dress entered my wardrobe until I needed one for my middle school graduation ceremony.

I do recall when my mom was trying to explain how a postal code directory book worked, I wasn't interested. She said, "You'll need to know this when you start working" and I retorted back, "When I start working, I'll have someone to do that sort of job for me!"

SirEdmundFrillary · 26/09/2012 14:33

Can't remember exact age but my mum said 'When you educate a man, you educate a man but when you educate a woman you educate a family.'

maresedotes · 26/09/2012 14:29

When I went to guide camp at the age of 13. We had to get up early, get wood, start a fire, cook breakfast then scrub the pans. The scouts at the other end of the field got up at 8ish and cooked their breakfast on a gas stove. Can't remember them having large pans to wash. Still rankles 30 years later.

notcitrus · 26/09/2012 14:26

Continuing playing with my Lego and Meccano and some computer programming even though every girl who came to play said it was weird. Shame both my parents stopped me doing much programming as they were scared I'd break the computer.

When I was 7 we had the elderly bookshop owner teach us embroidery every Friday afternoon, boys and girls alike. She said she didn't have any truck with people saying boys didn't need to sew. I wanted to be her when I got old. Still would, actually!

wintersnight · 26/09/2012 14:09

I used to play with boys a lot at primary school and remember us all coming in from playtime soaking wet and muddy. The teacher said she expected that kind of behaviour from boys but I should have more sense. It made me really cross but I couldn't articulate why for a long time.

I also remember pretending to be Robin Hood and making my (male) friend be Maid Marian.

LurcioLovesFrankie · 26/09/2012 13:58

Aged 4 - DGM wanted to buy me a pram, I insisted on a wheelbarrow.
Aged 5 - DGM finally forced the pram on me. I used it as a formula 1 racing car.
Aged 6 - grew too big for the racing car. Covered it with khaki cloth, fitted it with a flame-thrower made from a cardboard tube and a red chiffon scarf and used it as a tank for my rag doll.
Aged 7 - outraged to discover I couldn't play cricket for Yorkshire as I hadn't been born there (somehow the fact that I wasn't male passed me by). Got mum to give me a short-back-and-sides to further my England cricketing aspirations. Felt very cross with my primary school for not letting me play cricket with the boys.
Aged 8 - best friend and I took turns to be James Bond/the master villain. Her little sister was permanently relegated to the role of Bond girl, 'cos lets face it, that was a rubbish part.
Aged 10 - forced school to let me go to the National Railway Museum with the boys rather than the Castle Museum. (Even at that age, though, I could see it took even more guts on the part of the one boy, who, after hearing me, said "actually, I want to go to the Castle Museum" - early realisation that the patriarchy also screws over men who won't conform to gender norms).

Agree that the leurve interest in Temple of Doom is one of the most annoying female characters ever.

PiousPrat · 26/09/2012 13:55

My first RE lesson in middle school, so I must have been just coming up for 9 I think. I argued that the Bible stories we were being taught were sexist because it was only the men who were allowed to talk to God, the Big Man Boss and women were only ever shown as obedient wives and daughters and if they tried to do anything by themselves were labelled sinners.

I got told off by the boy next to me, because "Sex is a bad word". That earnt him an eye roll from me and sparked a conversation about sex, gender and roles from the teacher that must have been quite awkward to do off the cuff with a bunch of 8 year olds, but I will always remember her for. Mrs Ewing, I salute you.

HazleNutt · 26/09/2012 13:41

I loved Indiana Jones movies, but remember Temple of Doom and the woman who was only screaming and whining the whole time and needed to be rescued from everything, including bugs, bats and darkness? I remember watching it, rolling my eyes and thinking that "Oh come on..."

NiniLegsInTheAir · 26/09/2012 13:40

Like Food, I always remember watching films as a kid (especially Disney) where the girls were weak/feeble/non-existant. One of my fave films growing up was Watership Down but it angered me no end that there are no female characters AT ALL until towards the end.

And like Titsalina, I hated being forced to wear skirts in primary and secondary school, especially in winter when it was so cold. And girls were never allowed to play football, when I loved football, went to watch my local league team play every week and played myself. This wasn't a long time ago either - this was the mid-late 90's!!

MiniTheMinx · 26/09/2012 11:25

"I stripped my dolls, dyed their hair and put tattoos on them" me too margerykemp I shaved their heads though, I then filled my (what must have been beautiful) three quarter size silver cross dolls pram with acorns. It made a fantastic wheelbarrow!

FoodUnit · 26/09/2012 08:09

Ha ha ha... This is bringing back a lot of memories for me like doll 're-working' and my own spirituality with a feminine deity called 'Nature' who was affronted by worship of a male holy trinity.

But I love the Princess with a submachine gun Grin

FairPhyllis · 26/09/2012 05:45

Oh yes, and when I played at being a princess, but one that had a submachine gun and shot people who were bad Hmm

FairPhyllis · 26/09/2012 05:42

When I felt puzzled in primary school that only boys were allowed to operate the overhead projector for hymns in assembly.

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