In this day and age! A thread for unbelievably obvious examples of sexism.

Told my FIL that I don't like to be addressed as Mrs DHlastname and that my friends address me as my-firstname and the rest of the world can call me Dr my-lastname. Isn't that obvious? That's what happens to male PhD holders, is it not?

Oh, good lord, mummy that is awful.

Can you make a complaint? Surely what he said is really, seriously not on?

nickel - yes, I wish she'd use it. It's relevant to what she does (she's a tutor in her subject) and she wonders why she doesn't get much respect, but she won't use it. Mind you there's a world of things I could say about my mum and how much she's been crushed down by things like that, so I pick my battles.

I'm not (just) being patronizing here, btw, she honestly isn't very happy, it's not that she's a perfectly content not-very-feminist type, she's an unhappy woman resisting feminism because it scares her.

I would be annoyed at my mum doing that too.

I've just been looking on apostgrad forum, and someone said that they rang the registrar or births, marriages and deaths and they said yo ucan change your name even if your title is DR, but you have to have a good paper trail. (and others saying it's bad to because you'd lose your reputation and searches for papers etc etc)

but, she should use Dr and Dr is that's what she is.

Ok...

1st week with the surgeons. They kept us in til very late every night. Not because there was anything to do. Just because that's what they had to do at medical school. Last day one of them gave me the choice to go home or see another patient. I said I would go home if that's alright, because I had not got home before dd was in bed one night that week. His reply "Welcome to medicine..."

Few days later in theatre a registrar who was on placement from Eastern Europe heard I had a daughter. He asked me what I was doing there. I asked him what I meant. He said I should be at home looking after my daughter. His wife stays at home and looks after his children like a good mother. I said she was home with her Dad who she loves just as much as me. He said it's not the same.

His poor wife and kids. Never mind that he has dragged his family half way across Europe for his career and is probably never home to even see them.

It was very telling that all the consultants on that take were going through divorces.

atail that is hilarious!

nickel - oh, sorry, I'm an idiot, that would make more sense. I guess you have to be very careful about doctors and fake identities.

I was just getting fed up because my mum changed her name after she got her doctorate, and I get annoyed because she never uses it, so they get letters addressed to 'Dr and Mrs' instead of 'Dr and Dr', and it really annoys me. But it's possible she has a point.

(I will refrain from muttering she shouldn't have changed her bloody name!)

and here

this is just medical doctors, though, I haven't found other doctorates yet.
(i hav a feeling the rule might apply to other doctorates)

ah, it can be done but it's a faff (like all name changes i suppose!)

Blackcurrants yes I honestly think there would be a moment of dissonance or double take in the brain that went, "a man had a BABY? Oh no, hang on, the soldier was female." Bit like the surgeon-is-female logic problem I mentioned elsewhere.

However it probably would be better NOT to use female as from those moments of dissonance, we learn!

oh, go on Mummys - that's what this thread is for!

Tail [snarf]

i'm trying to find a sodding reference to the rule.

I found this on netdoctors, though...

"The only legal problem they ran into was when they were taking whatever licensing examinations (2 female dentists & 1 female physician). The name they put on the examination had to be their legal name & the one on the official ID that allowed them to enter the examination. So...you have to allow enough time for your DMV to get your ID to match your legal name, if you choose to change.

However...there are many female prescribers who do change their name after licensing. I know because of their DEA #. That # always begins with either an A or B & is followed by the first letter of your last name at the time you apply for it. Many female prescribers have a DEA # that will begin with BL, for example (her maiden or previously married name @ the time of licensure was Lee perhaps) then later she married or remarried & the new name is Smith....but the DEA # never changes....it stays BL.

So...you can graduate with whatever name you want & change it at any time you want. It can be at the time of marriage, 1 yr, 10yrs or never.

I married while in school & changed my name at that time, so I graduated & became licensed with my married name & our kids have our name."

How I wish I could link to the email DH has just had from Sainsbury's online shopping:

'Geoff, feel as Good as you Look in Tu clothing!

5 ways to flatter your figure

Look 1: Fit 'n' flare

This style of dress suits every body shape! The top half skims over your curves without clinging, while the gently gathered waist creates a gorgeous A-line silhouette that flatters your tummy and thighs....'

can't wait to see him in that lot!

I could come up with so many tales of what has happened to me at med school. But I can't be bothered to type them out as they'd just make me too angry!

i'm pretty sure that's right, Hazle - you'd be stuck with the Dr Marriedname.
but you can probably apply to get it changed (at the University rather than the government)

It's because it's earned rather than just a title.

Nickel I didn't know that. So if you get a doctorate after marriage and taking his name, you might get divorced but you're stuck with the name?

Oooh, I did not know that, nickel. Crikey.

I know loads of people who got their doctorate in one name, got married and changed their names, and still use 'Dr' ... are they technically not allowed to do that?!

blackcurrants - that's refreshing. :)

because you're not allowed to use Doctor with any other name except that which you had when you got the doctorate.
so, if you were Ms Long when you got the doctorate, you can only be Dr Long. If you got married to Mr Short, and you wanted to take his name, you can be Mrs Short, but not Dr Short.

black - DH hasn't changed his name but regularly claims it's his name when booking stuff. But then, his is a right bugger for English people so it's not purely a lovely feminist gesture.

Might be, nickel, I am very hazy.

I drink pints and my dad - bless him, for all his faults - always brought me up to do so. From an inappropriately early age. So I can yak on about real ale with the best of them.

DH drinks real ale on occasion, but also likes disgusting stuff like peach-flavoured beer.

You can guess how often people come back from the bar and hand us the wrong drinks, even though we've just said them to whoever's getting the round.

libra - that is so rude! Have you got a good standard reply?

According to the BBC a "female British soldier" has had a baby

ICutMyFootOnOccamsRazor - our department is quite OK with distributing courses, at least I haven't had to do anything I don't want to yet... But this year's mission is to bloody get them to NOT call me "miss".

every day, WhoKnows - you have to do them every day until you die.

i have skipped a couple of times, and really noticed the difference.