In this day and age! A thread for unbelievably obvious examples of sexism.

My career is in Mental Health. One of the jobs I had a few years back was as a therapist in a Medium Secure Unit. Most people ask what kind of patients were treated there, and I'm honest and say it's offenders, and yes they can be volitile, sometimes violent and their index offences are often very serious.

More than one person has said in response to this:

'I wouldn't let my wife work somewhere like that' (men)

'I'm surprised your husband hasn't stopped you' (women)

I worked there for 4 years and then went on to work with Drug addicts. I didn't need my husband's permission to do either. He fully supports my choices, as I do his.

Other people are frequently sexist without realising it.
Me: (to a female friend) oh you've let your hair grow long
Her: Yes, but I don't like it
Me: would you like it cut short again?
Her: Yes, I much prefer it like that
Me: So why don't you?
Her: my husband likes it long, so I don't cut it.

RAC: Can I speak to Mr Scrablet please
Scrablet, sorry not here, can I take a message
RAC No, is a problem with payment
Scrablet, Oh, it comes out of my account, what is problem
RAC sorry, need to speak to Mr, is in his name
Scrablet, Why? I took out policy I pay for it I am only one who has ever used it, it is my account, speak to me
RAC Has he left the household
Scrablet!!!!!

A little while later policy renewed at 'special discount rate ' but really!

I was at the Russell & Bromley childrens' shoe shop in Stratford Westfield yesterday. All the assistants (all female) were very helpful, but DH and I were taken aback by the advertisements on the walls. Above the extremely pink and sparkly girls' section, the ad for girls' shoes said "Twinkletoes!". Above the boys' section, the ad for the boys' shoes said "Good for Action!" Yeesh.

Btw, just because you are a lightweight who drinks half pints doesn't mean you dont appreciate good beer, people! I say this on DH's behalf too, as we both drink half pints.

While discussing my flexible working request, my boss said "mothers struggle to work you know" and "what will you do when she is ill?". (he knows DP is going to be a sahp).

LastMango you're right, I probably was too patient on that occassion, but as Nickel said it was mainly due to trying my best to be professionally polite.

I actually tend to be very blunt and to the point, naturally, and have to work hard at being 'nice' when I'm working, or people think I'm being a arse! Although, if I was a man, I've no doubt my natural personality would be accepted far more readily.

Although...................marrried to a quite high-powered guy, i did have to goto london quite a lot (what a pain with 3 dses) and have been asked (apropros talking ablout daytime tv ) 'so how come you can watch daytime tv? ' Me-well i'm a SAHM.............

Cue lots of hilarity, but they did expect me to be a city-girl/worker..

I am aghast at some of these tales! I feel really fortunate that after 6 years in Belgium I cannot think of a recent example of casual sexism. I think 2 things really help - here family is seen as more important than work - in a general sense, and also women do not change their name when they get married. The company I work for (ICT industry) is pretty good and actively tries to recruit/promote women - or at least they say they do.

It is about 70/30 split overall - but women hold a relatively higher % of management roles. A large part of the workforce though is in the field - laying cables, installing internet/phone lines etc. I guess these jobs are not traditionally female ones....The only issue I have ever had at work is that I don't speak dutch - and the twat who made a huge fuss speaks both french and english perferctly well. He just wanted to make a point.

MrBloom what a wanker that colleague is!

Can I record a small triumph for the National Trust then - recently joined as a Family, I did the form, paperwork came to me and the cards are Ms MyName, Mr HisName, Family.

After returning to work after maternity leave with DD2, both DH and I decided to go on a 4 day week - so we would each have a day with the kids. DHs (female) boss was supportive, but one of his male colleagues cannot understand why a bloke would want to do a four day week to spend more time with his kids.

Colleague has actually asked 'why won't your wife do it', and 'I wouldn't if I were you, it'll mess up your pension contributions.' And without fail he will try and organise a meeting every week for the day DH is off, and then will remark, 'oh I suppose we can't meet on that day because you are babysitting.' Grrr.

I recently bought Merlin passes for my family. I filled out the forms, I put my name down as main pass holder and my dh and kids as additional pass holders, I paid for them all with my card and I am the one who mainly takes the kids places. So does the Merlin Pass magazine come through addressed to me? Or Mr and Mrs Chick? Or the Chick Family??

No, it is addressed to Mr Chick. Makes my blood boil!

ooh sorry. Reading an old version of the page when I posted .

True Last, but if you are running a business you are probably aware that the person on the end of the phone could be a customer or potential customer...

I always regret being nice though. And I resent being made to feel that I am somehow in the wrong - "if only I had been more assertive or said such-and-such then maybe they would not treat me like that" type feeling. But clearly it's not my fault. Eg. with OP someone earlier wanted to know how assertive she was in the beginning of the car-buying business. Even if she was behaving like a timid little mouse hiding behind her big brave DH's back (which she wasn't ) there is still no call to treat her like she's not there, is there?

Recently I have been a lot less nice. I recommend it. It is very liberating.

ah, i see, you think she's being "oh, you silly person, let me explain that nicely to you again" instead of "ffs how hard can it be?!"

I agree, but in business, you tend to be very customer service trained, and it's soooo hard to be rude to people"

I know, nickel. But that's still v nice and polite, you see...
(Or perhaps I'm reading a 'tone' into words on page. I'm just thinking that an air of impatience rather than largesse can be helpful in these sorts of situations.)

LastMango - she did that, though, she said "you can speak to me, I'm one of the directors"

pacificjade (and others who describe similar experiences where you're super tolerant of someone who's struggling to get their little head around the fact that you have status/expertise/responsibility, etc.)
Could it be that your patience is actually working against you?
By that I mean, I wonder what would happen if by, say, the second time you get your "No, I want to speak to the manager, what's his name?" (or whatever), you abandoned the polite explanations and went for something along the lines of:
"Yes, that's me. What do you want?"
Could save time and disabuse these people of the illusion that they're speaking to some nice little lackey who hasn't understood them. (May also conform more to their expectations of a manager/director - i.e. as someone with little time to waste chatting to numpties.)

I run a small business with my DH. We make a product that is generally perceived as a male product, but don't get me started on that.
Get everyday "Can I talk to the boss?"
"Yes, that's me"
"Oh, oh really?" all the time. But by far the worse example was a phone call -

Man on Phone: "Hello, I need to speak to the company director"
Me: "Yes, you can speak to me"
MOP: "Sorry, I need to speak to him. What is his name?"
Me: (in a light pleasant tone) "Or her name. You can speak to me, I'm one of the directors"
MOP: "Yes, I really need his name - the company director"

Me: "I am Ms Pacificjade; a director of this company."
MOP: (obviously writing down name) "Mr Pacificjade. So he's the director?"
Me: (slightly impatient tone) "Not Mr, Ms. I'm Ms Pacificjade. I'm the director. You can speak to me."
MOP: "To you? Really? So you make decisions?"
Me: (more impatient tone) "Yes, that's right, I do."
MOP: "Oh, um, OK. Can I interest you in blah, blah blah?"
Me: "No, you can't. Perhaps you'll find a less sexist attitude will help you on your next sales call."

Snarkle - OMG, OMG, OMG. The idea of the 'girl power' convo is making me cringe to the core of my being. But it does sound sort of hilarious, in a toe curling 'Office' type way.
I absolutely agree, captainmummy WRT Ms. But I guess there are some women out there who want to be known as Miss or Mrs.
I sometimes think I can hear an intake of breath when I say over the phone that I use 'Ms'. This is something that puts my teeth on edge.

I think all women should be Ms, I don;t understand why the world needs to know whether I am married or not. Mr is used on all ages of male.

yes, I know that, I meant that most women who change their name take Mrs.
plus, you can read it as a separate point if you like, but Ms gets more credit than Miss or Mrs.

You can change your name and still be a Ms, there is no law about using the title.

yet another reason why i didn't change my name.
i know it's sexist, but having Ms as a title just seems to get more credit (not literally, obviously, i don't use my title to borrow money )

Last week I was opening a new business bank account.

Bank: So you want to open a business account, I have forms here to fill out
Me: Yes thanks, I'll fill them now so will I?
Bank: Oh you can take them with you, we need all signatories to sign the forms
Me: That's ok it's only me.
Bank: Your the owner? We need explained slowly as I clearly look dumb as pigshit everyone that puts money into the company to sign the forms.

Me: Yes, it's just me.
They agree it would be better to fill out form there and then

Bank: Oh your married? does he not need to sign, we need all signatories on a business bank account to sign the forms.
Bank: Are you the sole owner?
Me: Yes. It's. Just. Me.

So i got the bank account opened, the walk back to the lift was a rather interesting odd conversation on their side about girl power and women doing it for themselves. Would a man have had the same reactions? Not in a million years.