In this day and age! A thread for unbelievably obvious examples of sexism.

Oh grimbletart thank you for articulating that.

There's a canonical example in the original Smiley's People series. The head of the service keeps saying "blah blah swear-sorreee-Molleee blah blah." He's precisely a pointless posturing prick in all his motions, trying to assert himself as a Hard Man in front of real professionals.

It annoys me every time I watch - but I couldn't put my finger on exactly why he was doing it and what was so wrong.

Just answered the door to a bloke in a van touting for work resurfacing drives. 'Hello, lady,' says he, all matey like, 'can I have a word with the boss?'
'Actually,' says I, while shutting the door firmly, 'I don't have a boss.' The look on his face . . .

the only person I've heard being offended by swearwords recently was an American chap I was talking to on the phone.
He was very offended because I used the phrase "fucked up" (not even referring to him, and not in anger) and he said "I refuse to continue the conversation if you're going to use bad language" and hung up on me
seriously.
It was like something out of the 1950s.

Why are movie magazines like Total Film and Empire in Tesco in the 'men's/male' section? I'm virtually certain i've seen women in cinemas.

Also, my shaving gel is 'optimised for male skin'. I'm not sure whether there's some scientific basis for that one or not.

This swearing thing....what really brasses me off is is not swearing or swearing accidentally and apologising to everyone, but a certain type of male (kind of old school type Lothario - think Leslie Phillips perhaps) who will deliberately swear then make a point of apologising to the female/s in the group. It's an ultimate put-down as in "I'm a man and men swear but not in front of poor little ladies, but I need to do it to underline I am a big strong man and you are a little feeble soul so I shall swear - and then apologise to you to show you how strong I am and how feeble you are".

Difficult to explain, but I'm pretty sure some posters on here will identify with that sort of situation.

I don't like certain swear words, but that's nothing to do with me being a woman, I just don't like them. Having said that, if someone used one, unless it was in earshot of my kids, I wouldn't bother saying anything either.

In my line of work, you get used to being sworn at on a regular basis.

I once told our GM: "Charley, it's ok. Not only have I heard the word, I've been called it. Repeatedly."

Exactly. I worked in a factory, did they think I had never been exposed to swearing before?

Oh yes, what is it with the apologising? I'm often the only woman in meetings as well and it happens constantly. Sure I could understand if someone blurted out a totally inappropriate word, but they shoudl tehn apologise to everybody. But I'm not some delicate flower that faints when she hears any mild expletive.

Yy whoknows, I've had several men apologise to me for swearing but not to the other men present. I always look baffled (genuinely) as I've rarely registered the word even (usually much milder than I would use!!) and don't know why this person is saying, "Sorry, Doctrine".

Years ago I worked in a big factory that ran a lot of training courses for the staff. I got sent on Leadership skills or somesuch, 20 or so of us wer sat around the big table and as an icebreaker the trainer asked everyone to talk about things they dream of doing. About half way round the room, one man made a jokey reference to his dream about Kim Basinger and everyone laughed. The trainer turned to me and said "I'm so sorry about that WhoKnows" and I was perplexed, it was only then that I realised I was the only woman in the room. I sort of brushed it off, but was pretty pissed off. i had to endure 2 days of this bloody man apologising to me every time anyone swore (other than that the course was great). This is my proud moment though, when he asked for feedback at the end I stood up in front of the whole room and told him that while I had no problem with anyone swearing I did have a big problem with repeatedly being singled out for being female and he had the grace to look really shocked and apologise.

I know, I'm the sort of person who thinks up perfect remarks, just 4 hours later

We both just sort of squawked and managed to say that it was mine.

I booked in for formal hall (posh dinner) at an Oxbridge college a little while back, as DrBoffin, and college automatically assumed DrBoffin was DH and I was the arm candy.

Had the whole card machine handed to boyfriend, but it's my card thing at Wagamamas tonight. Buoyed up by this thread I've just sent them a complaint

I attended a (male dominated) industry event - evening get-together, speaker with drinks afterwards thing.

I went on my own. Two men stared at me for a while, then one of them approached.

Man: So how did you hear about this event?
Me: Well, I am a member
Man:

My Dh always deals with our cleaners, as his schedule is flexible. I usually never see them. But they will still ask DH what he thinks I would like the cleaner to do today. Does DH know if I would like them to rather clean the windows or iron DH's shirts...

A plumber who always deals with me regarding some rental properties DH and I own jointly always addresses any letters to DH even though the only time he has ever spoken to him was once a few years ago when DH picked up the phone and said 'oh I'll just get DW to speak to you'. Today he called wanting to know DHs first name so that he can register a new boiler at one of the properties.

I told him he could put it in my name on it, cue complete confusion about teh fact that we have different last names. Bless him, he's so 1950s

My nephew fell about laughing when I got in the drivers seat and dh got in the passenger seat. I did have some fun with his misgivings though.

ooh nocitrus I would be very tempted to inform them that "And do you know, they also allow women to vote now! And own property! I know, where is this all ending, a female prime minister next? ha ha..oh, wait.."

Cambridge University send out an alumni magazine. They sent one to Mr Hisname and then changed it to Dr X Hisname, and one to me and managed to change it to Dr N Citrus.
Then we moved in together in 1999.

Since then our copy is labelled Dr X and N Hisname. Looks like both my PhD and name got lost in the move. I would assume it was a simple admin cockup except I've asked them to sort it well over a dozen times now.

Though actually the worst sexism I've had in recent years was at an alumni do, where I took MrNC with me. Loads of male-female couples, mostly 40 to 50, and without exception they would come over and the chap would ask MrNC what he studied. They'd stumble slightly when he pointed out he was at a different college, then give me a dirty look, then talk to him.

After the 10th or so MrNC started ordering them to talk to me as they were supposed to chat to fellow alumni. After another dozen we started getting blatantly rude and pointing out their faux pas so the visibly-embarrassed wives wouldn't have to. My faves were the 5 or so who said 'oh, they let women in now? Ha, ha!' which had the obvious response yes, since 1972. Do keep up, though it must be hard if you're actually over 60...

It's hard I think, because in a relationship, you do have a need to please your partner to a certain degree, and I guess each couple needs to decide what they feel comfortable with. My friend probably thought it was no big deal to her. Having said that, I wouldn't let my DH's opinions or preferences stop me doing something I wanted to do unless it had a direct negative effect on him. He can voice them and we can discuss stuff but it's my hair!

Having said that, when he grew his hair I made it clear I wasn't a fan, and I joked about cutting it off in his sleep, but in all seriousness I didn't really care either way. It was important to him at the time.

I know IWCD, it's weird, I kind of expect comments like that from the older generation because they've grown up in a different era. But to hear those things from my own peers is really quite worrying.

kash