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Original poster

In this day and age! A thread for unbelievably obvious examples of sexism.

432 replies

blackcurrants · 18/09/2012 12:31

A thread for "I can't believe that just happened to me! In this day and age!"

Yesterday we spent about 40 minutes in a Toyota dealership, looking to spend about $10k on a used car. The salesman only asked DH's name, only wrote down DH's number, and only talked to DH about the cars available. DH kept referring to me, asking my opinion, and generally looking uncomfortable. Eventually DH snatched back his license from the salesman and said "No, I don't think so. Let's go." And as I turned I added "Joe? Thank you for your help today. I work in sales and I wanted you to know that since I walked in here you haven't asked me a single question, or addressed me directly even once. At one point you walked away from me, talking to my husband about the next car you were showing us, so that I couldn't hear what you said. I just want you to know that I earn more than my husband (actually not yet true, but soon will be!), I know more about cars than my husband (v.true), and you acted like I didn't exist. Which is why we're leaving."

When I got into our car, DH was cheering. We drove 5 miles away and bought a nissan.

As we were doing the dishes last night, talking about this, DH said "I do hope you tell Mumsnet about it." Grin he knows me so well.

OP posts:
WiseKneeHair · 18/09/2012 13:06

Where to start!
Although, it has got better as I have got older. I think being young and female seems to be percieved as incapable. Middle aged and female, sometimes I am given the benefit of the doubt!

Recently went into a posh jewellers as I am thinking of getting myself a nice watch for Christmas (circa £1250). When the sales woman asked what the occasion was, I said it was for Christmas. Cue her saying I would have to do more ironing and cleaning to put DH in a good mood Shock.
I said that probably wouldn't work as I don't do much housework and DH does all the ironing. Grin

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 18/09/2012 13:03

Good thread!

Original poster
blackcurrants · 18/09/2012 12:59

These posts have me pulling faces at my screen that alternate between Shock and Grin

Maybe I should have had a fake beard handy yesterday? :)

OP posts:
CMOTDibbler · 18/09/2012 12:58

Car buying drives me nuts. I drive a lot for work, have a company car allowance, yet the dealerships only ever want to talk to dh. Who has none of it, and we've walked away on a number of occasions due to the sales attitude.

Working as I do in a v male dominated industry, I get lots of sexism. Ranging from people questioning what happens to ds when I travel (umm, dh looks after him..), telling me they wouldn't like it if their wife travelled etc.

But my favourite ever was at a conference - we have a big exhibition booth, do demos of software, available to talk about issues etc. Guy comes over 'I need to talk to someone about x' 'yes, I can help you' 'no, I need an expert' 'yes, that would be me' and so on. So he decided to try and test me on this, which was fine. He just could not believe that a woman would know this. Best thing was a customer friend who had done a lot of work with me on implementing this thing was waiting to chat, and I could see him pissing himself laughing at all this. He suggested after that I keep a false beard to help people feel comfortable Grin

LittleBoxes · 18/09/2012 12:57

I called a holiday company about a last-minute deal I'd seen on Teletext Holidays, and on the other end of the phone was a man giving me the horrible hard-sell, including adding on a raft of extras which almost doubled the price of the holiday that had been advertised. OK, no, that's too expensive, I said, preparing to put the phone down. He then started trying to bargain with me, and his main argument was that I should 'call my husband to ask for more money' Shock

Original poster
blackcurrants · 18/09/2012 12:57

Ooh, nicely done, XKCDfan (love the name, too!).
DH said to me as we drove off "I'm so glad you SAID something!" and I said "Well I had plenty of time to plan it, since he talked over me for over half an hour!" But I did surprise myself a bit. This was a very young man, so here's hoping that perhaps some of what I said sinks in, otherwise I can't help thinking he's not going to make much money selling cars!

OP posts:
xkcdfangirl · 18/09/2012 12:48

I was house hunting, and thought I'd found the right house for us. I agreed to see the financial adviser attached to the estate agent. They had only dealt with me at all points, but when the woman started filling in the forms she insisted on putting my DH into the system as applicant 1 despite the fact he earns about a quarter of what I do. I also walked out saying I would not be doing business with them because I didn't expect to be treated like a second class citizen like that - I realised that this was a bit of an over reaction but I think that the culture will only change to being actually egalitarian if we challenge casual unthinking sexism as well as overt and blatant sexism.