Male nannies/childminders

Eats has a point
There ARE an alarming amount of men (because there should be none ideally) who sexually abuse children.
Far from all men obviously. But they exist. How do we deal with that?

Hey I don't agree with Eats position either but that's a really nasty thing to say.

I should have agreed with Felicity earlier - I can't engage with this insanity any more- it certainly is ludicrous.
I feel very sorry for your DCs Eats.

Of course we are talking about a mans feelings. It is airline policy, not directed at this man.

And children have been abused by men who are strangers on planes. Blanket over your knee and a creeping hand does not make that difficult.

But fine, you want to put a mans 5 minutes of hurt feelings before the risk of a child being abused. Sad that so many mothers care more about a mans feelings than a child potentially being sexually abused.

I don't support it because it is completely wrong - so wrong that I would like it to create a big scene with the man standing up to you and asking what possible grounds you could have for defamation of character - and also 'what on earth I am supposed to do in a plane seat in full view of the third person and the person across the aisle?' it is madness! Sadly men would meekly move rather than draw attention to themselves against loony women. If ever a DC gets put next to my DH on a plane I am not swapping to sit between them!

Because it has harmed someone - the poor man on the plane!!!!! And you may belittle it by saying he mustn't mind about having his feelings hurt but that man has suffered a public humiliation. How do you know that other passengers on the plan weren't thinking, "Oh, no smoke without fire - wonder what the pilot knows about him that we don't?!" How do you know some over-sensitive peadophile-hysteria-witch hunt person wasn't surreptitiously taking a photo of him on their mobile and distributing it around the internet as the current bloke to look out for?? It's about so much more than feelings, it's about reputations and self-esteem and common decency. it is because of this kind of ridiculous hysteria that men who come across lost children are afraid to approach them and leave them to wander off further on their own etc. It's completely ridiculous and it's wrong.

I have never once said that children should be kept away from all men. But if the choice is sitting an unaccompanied child next to a man or a woman, it makes sense to sit that child next to a woman. The risk may be small - but I honestly cant understand why you wouldnt support such a small thing that harms nobody at all, is so easy to do and may just protect a child.

The thing is as a stranger the chance that man on the plane will harm that child is minuscule. Maybe we should keep all children away from their fathers and any other male member of their family or friends. Just don't complain that all the child care is done by women I doubt anyone could take your complaints seriously.

I feel very militant about it. Any man ought to refuse absolutely to change his seat and take it up with the airline-it is a diabolical way to treat a customer.

'the airline know that men are more likely to abuse' policy is absolutely shite, eats.

I ran airports for 16 years, and whilst unaccompanied minors were sat in specific seats near the hosties (who were just as likely to be gay men as bosomy matronly types) the only way we would move a male passenger away from them is if some loon complained.

I'm pretty gutted that you are using fwr to peddle this sort of nonsense and fear-mongering.

I can't engage with this insanity anymore. It's just ludicrous.

1 minute later I find this one as well. www.khon2.com/news/local/story/Kauai-man-sentenced-to-prison-for-molesting-child/dt0NaQfQY0ik0An_yInm5A.cspx?p=Comments

I havent got time to look into this more, but please dont pretend this never ahppens - because it quite clearly does

drater - a 2 minute google search came up with this case where an unaccompanied girl was molested by a male stranger on a plane www.thenational.ae/news/uae-news/man-arrested-for-molesting-girl-on-emirates-flight

It may not happen often, but it does happen.

Yet the only person ever to be found molesting a child on a plane was a woman...

And Felicity I have no idea what you mean by:

"It's like saying you don't want your teenage son to be taught by women. Because some women are prostitutes and you wouldn't want to risk him associating with one. "

What harm is a woman who is a prostitute going to do to a teenage boy? Beinga prostitute is not the same as being a sexual abuser. So what did you mean?

DS1 has a male childminder. He takes him to the ramps on his scooter and also on bike rides. DS1 is 9.

Nobody is saying that men shouldnt work with children. I said I understand why mothers might be wary of a male worker looking after their young child and might choose not to have a man looking after her child. Perfectly valid because men are much more likely to sexually abuse children.

In terms of the man on the plane. Nobody said he as an individual was a paedophile. It is an airline policy because they recognise there is an increased risk to an unaccompanied child from a man. He was not accused of looking like a paedophile. The airline simply no that men are more likely to sexually abuse. And so statiscally it is safer to sit an unaccompanied child next to a woman.

And the man did not suffer any harm from this. He got his feelings hurt - thats it.

In the event a child gets lost why do Mothers tell their child to look for a Mother with children rather than a lone male?

I think it's partly poorly disguised gender stereotyping.

And partly because it's easier to find a mother with children out and about than a father with children out and about.

And even more disturbingly because we perceive women to care more about a lost child- and therefore be more likely to help. (I don't think this has any basis in -recent- truth however).

The lone man thing is a red herring if you wouldn't direct your child to find a lone women either.

There is a slightly higher risk for a man to sit with a lone minor than for a Woman.
In the event a child gets lost why do Mothers tell their child to look for a Mother with children rather than a lone male? It's just statistic common sense it doesn't completely guarantee anything but I think most reasonable people accept this surely?
It's not to cause anyone offence nor suggest all men are abusers.

If mothers are going to choose not to have men look after their DCs that is fair enough- BUT what they can't do is then complain that childcare shouldn't be seen as women's work. You can't have it both ways.

Indeed, Felicity.

He was told he was unsuitable to sit next to a minor.

I would be offended if someone said that to me. But they won't beause im a women.

I'd also be offended if someone said I was unsuitable for a career as a pilot/generic make dominated career/dentist

Because making an uniformed judgement based on gender stereotyping is wrong.

I completely agree that that man on the plane overreacted.
In any event the childs protection should be paramount regardless of offending anyone. He was in no way accused of being a paedophile.