Male nannies/childminders

Exotic - Yes every parent needs to encourage their child to do that. But the majority of children do not. you need to have an understanding of how children react in real life. Read stories of children who have been abused, including those in public spaces. Children rarely react as you think they should.

Of course Exotic, you ARE blaming her. You are saying this is how you should have reacted to stop it. You are blaming a child for not reacting how you think she should have reacted.

Exotic - You are blaming a child for not reacting how you think she should have reacted. The majority of children would not react in the way you describe. they would be confused, perhaps frightened.

You are coming across as callous in the extreme.

You're talking about someone who actually posted their abuse here Exotic. Don't be so callous.

Exotic!!! A child is a child, why would an innocent child know what to do in a situation like that!
She may have been in shock and scared.
The only one to blame was the sick peadophile

I am old enough to remember the debate before CRBs were brought in. the same arguments were made that it is saying that all childcare workers might be abusers and casting suspicion against innocent staff.

I would always help a lost child or child who needed support and I know my father does the same.

Don't victim blame Exotic. Especially to a child.

If I was asked to move on a plane because it was policy that lone males could not sit next to unaccompanied children, I would be really upset. It just reinforces the label that men are potential paedophiles.

Did you see the experiment on TV where they had a lost child who was crying in a mall? So many people walked past and ignored her - why? Because they were afraid of getting involved and people thinking the worst of them?

What kind of society are we creating for ourselves? Where people are afraid to help children? Where society think the worst of people? Where assumptions are automatically made?

Yes - logically having the male move might reduce the chances of assault. What - from 1 in a million ? But what price does society pay? Just reinforcement of the labelling of men as paedophiles and abusers.

CRBs are worthless. Just someone has not been caught yet.
But - as lots of people have pointed out - abuse happens in the home and with the most unsuspecting people. I knew a really nice couple - turns out the husband was abusing the daughter. I was so surprised - but isn't that the thing with abuse. You can't tell who the potential abusers are.

It can be awful being a man. Some people look at you as a potential rapist, abuser and paedophile. Just because of the awful actions of a minority of males. It's like being guilty until being found innocent.

And you know what - I would be so wary if I came across a lost child or a child who needed support. Because I would hate people to think I had intentions.

And people wonder why men don't get involved in childcare, why men don't get involved in anything that involves children. Because of the way some people just think the worst of them.

Exotic - That comment is appalling!!! I am shocked and upset that you think it is okay to blame a child for being abused. Really that is so disgusting, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Actually know it is not about making your DCs frightened. You can steer children away from potential problems without pointing them out to them. So you spot an obviously drunk man who looks like a street drinker weaving down the street. You dont have to clutch your DCs to your breast and say stay away from that man. You simply do something like - lets cross the road here and look at x.

Yes a greater risk comes from family members. Does that mean you dont let family members near your DC? Well that depends on your family. I would totally trust my own father and brother - my Uncle, not at all.

Exotic - sorry you are being naive if you think most DCs would react like that. Most DCs, even outspoken DCs, feel embarassed, ashamed and dont know what to do.

So you would rather just see all men as potential paedophiles then but like I said before the greater risk would come from your male family members so i hope you are also keeping an eye on your husbands, sons, brothers and friends because the is where the risk really is. Why stop there lets treat all people for what they have the potential to do even if it's based on a minority lets not let it stop us.

booflebean - I am so sorry to hear that! That is truly awful.

rosabud - What points havent i answered? Reputation and good charcater? We are not talking about someone being publically pilloried in their town square. A man was asked to move seat - thats it. I am sure the employee will have explained that it is airline policy so those immediately around the man would have heard this. Othes on the plane and further afield would never have known what had happened if the man had just quietly moved. There was no reputational damage here.

Yes logically to drastically reduce sexual abuse of children you would banish all men. But of course that is simply not realistic. So we put harm reduction strategies in place to try and protect children. We do CRBs on workers, we have helplines to report suspected abuse, etc. Not sitting an unaccompanied child next to a man on a plane is simply a harm reduction strategy. And a very simple one.

And the truth is we all make choices about harm reduction strategies. In terms of childcare judging how we can reduce the risks to our child - particularly serious risks.

I was assaulted on a plane while travelling alone as a young girl. Absolutely perfect environment for it. Curtains all shut, lights down, everyone with blankets over them. Seat next to me was empty, when I woke up it wasn't. He was a fillipino fisherman (he told me).

You haven't answered my point, just reiterated about hurt feelings. It's not just feelings, it's reputation and good-character and everything else.

The man on the plane issue aside, I am really disappointed that what could have been a sensible and interesting discussion about all aspects of men working in childcare has been reduced the level of "careful because lots of men are abusers."

Furthermore, I think some comments on here have been disappointingly small-minded and offensive to men who do work with young children.

I agree with Felicity and Exotics, I can't discuss it any further. I feel I would like to sign off as "Outraged from Tunbridge Wells" or something silly - that's how ridiculous, I think it has become.

Clearly the solution is to not allow men near children. Ever. I mean most abuse happens in the home so lets campaign to have fathers removed from the family home. No exceptions. Just not worth the risk is it.

Lets make a blanket law where by no male is allowed to sit near a child on any form of transport. And on the spot fines for them looking at children.

In fact lets just round up all men and push them out to sea. Problem solved !

PretzelTime is right. I read that 1 in 4 girls are abused and 1 in 6 boys, and that men commit 99% of all child sex offences. So there are a HUGE number of men out there who just CANNOT be trusted with children. And I know it isn't fair on all the innocent men out there who are viewed with suspicion, but that isn't the fault of mothers who just want to protect our children. It is the fault of these disgusting men.

Treat it like a serious crime and get real prison time is always my first answer.