Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Male nannies/childminders

357 replies

Lottapianos · 07/09/2012 15:43

Just listening to a discussion on the radio about male nannies. The general feeling is that having men work with young children is a good thing. No argument there!

However, the reason given is not because men are 50% of the population and it's good for children to spend time with both men and women so they can start to see both sexes as equal. The reason is that 'men and women play differently' - men are more 'rough and tumble' and kids love that Hmm Oh and some boys are growing up without a man in the home and they need a male role model in order to develop normally and not grow up gay. Or something Hmm

I really do get sick of all this essentialism - men do this, women do that - in the same way as I can't stand people talking about how boys and girls are inherently different. I really think that putting people into boxes based on their biological sex is stifling and unfair - what happens to people who don't 'perform' in the way they are expected?

Any thoughts on this issue? Smile

OP posts:
kim147 · 08/09/2012 22:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EatsBrainsAndLeaves · 08/09/2012 22:34

Tiggy I and others I know did work with children when living as a single person. Yes it is low paid, and lots of women and a few men, have to live on those wages. It is a proper job, albeit a low paid one.

kim147 · 08/09/2012 22:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MySpanielHell · 08/09/2012 22:31

'Even touch a child nowadays and they'll accuse you of abuse.'

Who is the 'you'? The child touched, other children, other teachers or parents?

EatsBrainsAndLeaves · 08/09/2012 22:30

Thought so Kim, you seemed pretty defensive. Try and understand it from mothers point of view, many of whom will have been sexually abused by men as children. Of course you want to protect your children from that.

kim147 · 08/09/2012 22:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sixer · 08/09/2012 22:29

There's been very high profile cases of women nursery workers, exploiting children and linked to paedophile groups, in the last few years and probably have been for years.
When we were looking for a childminder/babysitter, sex was never an issue. We wanted to employ a neighbour/local. We've had for the last 3 years the most sensible lad who is brilliant with our boys. My youngest DS had a young lad, 18 helping in school last year, he loved him too! He's since gone on to uni to be a teacher, and what a brilliant teacher he'll be.

TiggyD · 08/09/2012 22:28

Nursery work isn't a proper job until you're managing a nursery. It's either something you do while living at home with your parents, or as a second job as part of a couple.
Just found a job ad on Nursery Word's website:
"Nursery Nurse, Bath, £11,500 - £13,000 " for 40 hours per week. Most are between £13,500 - £15,000 per year. Men just don't want that.

The age you choose your future profession tends to be 14-18 ish. Peak peer pressure time. I suppose working with children might seem a bit of a "Gay" thing to do.

It's harder for men to get jobs due to people's bigoted ideas about men and children, or more often than not, the nurseries thinking parents would have a problem with it.

The men would have to work in a total or near total female environment. A lot of chaps can't cope with that. And yes, there is sexism against men in nurseries.

There might be some other reasons but it's late and I'm tired.

exoticfruits · 08/09/2012 22:28

A strange question Kim - of course we need more male primary teachers - particularly in the infant classes.

kim147 · 08/09/2012 22:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EatsBrainsAndLeaves · 08/09/2012 22:27

Kim, are you a primary school teacher?

exoticfruits · 08/09/2012 22:27

Men will only start working in childcare when women start employing them! It is useless to complain about the attitude that childcare is women's work while not willing to have a male nanny or childminder. You can't have it both ways. When you do get one working with the Early Years they do bring something very different to the role in terms of attitudes and play.

kim147 · 08/09/2012 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kim147 · 08/09/2012 22:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EatsBrainsAndLeaves · 08/09/2012 22:23

Exactly Gold - you have a responsibility to put your child first in the way you see best.

kim147 · 08/09/2012 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goldchilled7up · 08/09/2012 22:20

I wouldn't mind a male teacher or even nursery worker, but I would never employ a male nanny or childminder. It's not about discriminating but my child comes first, and what if? I would never forgive myself for putting him in a vulnerable position. Call it hysteria, I don't care, my duty is to protect my son.

EatsBrainsAndLeaves · 08/09/2012 22:18

Kim - my very firsty sentence on this thread was "I am sure there are men who are great who work with kids."

Why then have you jumped straight to worrying about the feelings of men who work with children, rather than the children who may be at risk.

Goldchilled7up · 08/09/2012 22:16

I second what eat said

kim147 · 08/09/2012 22:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kim147 · 08/09/2012 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EatsBrainsAndLeaves · 08/09/2012 22:12

So all mothers should allow the feelings of men to matter more to them than the safety of their children?

kim147 · 08/09/2012 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EatsBrainsAndLeaves · 08/09/2012 22:09

Because men are much more likely to sexually abuse and because so many mothers will have been sexually abused as children. The sexual abuse of girl children by men in our society is very high. And sorry to hear that happened to you.

blackcurrants · 08/09/2012 22:04

eats I understand it too - in fact, I was sexually abused as a young child by a young man in caretaking role.

What I don't understand is, if the young man has been vetted like the young women are vetted, is subject to the same routine monitoring and careful observation - as the young women are - why they are immediately suspect.

Swipe left for the next trending thread