Women subsumed into their children

do point me to were I have called you names.or a crap feminist
or made derogatory comments but strikeout so still visible
are you recalling historical gripes?historical she said, I said

Scottishmummy regularly directs vitriol towards sahms. Seems it's the main reason she's on Mumsnet. Shouldn't be surprised if it gets thrown back. Why don't you look back through this and other threads and tell her off? She talks about bitterness and anger, but she's always quite bitter about sahms and I'm not the first to notice it on this thread. It's anti feminist.

autumn,I wasnt aware that scottishmummy sneers at housewives,I dont think that she does that.

autumn why the vitriol?

The whole gist of this thread is that there is no one ideal way. Women should feel empowered to do what is right for them and their particular family. Your disparaging comments to scottishmummy are unwarranted and unkind. She has simply been stating why working is important to her and she is quite right that there is a lot of talk of budgeting and SAHMs. I know I had to when I didn't work! You are lucky if you can be SAHM and not have to think about that. A lot of women have to fight to stay with their children. Others have to fight to keep their career. It's different for everyone. What's wrong with that?

gosh you're an angry woman,sneer,bitter,bitterness.emotive words to use
presumptive too-I dont need to work ft.I chose it freely,not compelled to
when you've finished presuming and namecalling,perhaps consider what kind of feminist are you

on the contrary cutting back it's oft touted and suggested as way to be housewife
enthusiastic posts of how others have cut back to give up work Inc value beans,no holidays etc
comes up on regular basis but hey it's not nice to call the frugal bitter.tsp

another happy SAHM here not looking for cheap beans. Or cheap anything.
I shop in Sainsburys.
We're not on a budget.
'embrace the cheap beans' is another bitter WOHM cliché

Congratulations from me too CheerfulYank!
You change your fb picture to whatever you want,when you want.

Thanks FiveMad ! I'm pushing for five like you and Lockets. :o

congratulations cheerfulyank i remember you saying how much you wanted more!

Congrats that's ace!

Thanks! Sorry to thread hijack; we just aren't telling anyone here for a bit and I'm bursting with the news. :)

Congratulations cheerfulyank

I don't want to enact stereotypical role dad works mum housewife
it's important for me to work, and my dc see mum work and contribute
it's not all about the money,at all.it's also the satisfaction I derive from work

congratulations on pg cheerful yank- I hope you have a healthy pregnancy

Don't change your fb status yet, wait til it's a scan photo, much nicer :)

Congratulations CheerfulYank

I do love a good value bean :o

I'm tempted to change my fb picture to one of the positive pregnancy test I got this morning, but am resisting so far :)

Not at all, sm.
There are lots and lots of MNers who have chosen to be SAHMs because, financially, they are very comfortable and it gives the whole family a better quality of life to have one high-earning working parent and one SAHP. No need to knit lentils. Just because you couldn't manage on one salary, doesn't mean that all those that do are rummaging through the Co-op for value beans.

on finances the mn mantra can be scrimp,knit your own yoghurt,give up work
usually this is female give up work, embrace the value beans,become housewife
male enact traditional breadwinner role,sole wage earner. maintaing and enacting stereotypical domestic roles. mummy housewife,daddy works

nooooooooo,dont bring up that i word again!

I think it's a question of how much money is important too. I wouldn't be happy if my child were starving, but I don't care about things like private school or islands.

I definitely agree that it's things you work hard for, things that need a lot of effort, that make you proud, and you can derive far more satisfaction from the results. If something comes easy, I don't really think it gives the same pleasure.

I'm derive a lot of satisfaction from things I've amassed as result working
full fridge, home I like,solvent,yes that makes me happy,

I'm proud of my academic and work achievements.I worked hard for them
I'm v fortunate as many people are financially stretched and struggle and being poor isn't noble it's a dreadful endless grind

im not overly materialistic but yes I'm chuffed with the possessions I have bought as result of working. they give me pleasure.
I derive considerable vocational satisfaction from work and I receive remuneration.
I'm proud that I contribute to my family.

I agree many jobs (mainly public sector imo) don't receive the remuneration they deserve and there's considerable financial inequalities.

I dunno, scottishmummy. I have lots of things that I've bought, but I wouldn't really say I was proud of them or that they eflect on me (I'm a human being, not a human having :) ). I like my belongings very much and I've worked hard to earn the money to buy them but there's no effort involved in handing cash over - it's just a transaction.

I also don't think the renumeration provided for jobs necessarily reflects their actual societal value; women fill the overwhelming majority of low-paid but essential positions (cleaners, carers, shop assistants and so on) and many so-called SAHMs are carers etc with no pay at all for this. It must save the economy billions of pounds. Isn't there a Scottish proverb something like "The rank is but the guinea stamp, the man's the good?" If someone doesn't earn much money, or even none at all, it doesn't make them less valuable as a person or make them less happy than someone much richer (I speak from experience, being a single parent and having only found a new, fairly low-paid job 6 months ago after the last company I worked for folded in October 2011). It's wonderful that you can earn lots of money, but for obvious economic reasons, very few people can.