Women subsumed into their children

As a mother my kids are the most important thing in the world to me. If you don't want pics of my kid my message is unfriend me because I am not going to change for other people. Frankly I would be surprised if many mothers would give a damn about what other people think.

I think this article is making a mountain out of a molehill.

Yes, women use pics of their kids on FB but then most people use FB for family and friends. I have never seen a single pic of a child being used as a surrogate for the mother on LinkedIn.

Two, idealising the way parents raised their children in the past is just dumb. Women of my mother's generation were not told that they were risking their child's health, risking obesity, etc by the way they fed their babies. Women were not told that if they failed to bring their children up properly and they became delinquents, it would be their fault.

Women today are more invested in their kids because they know they will be vilified if their children grow up 'imperfectly'.

This is a slick op ed but without much foundation.

It annoys me when people say they put photos of their children as their profile picture because they don't like getting their picture taken or because they dont like everyone seeing their picture...

Did you stop to give your child the option?

Have you considered that your children may not like getting their photos taken or plastered on the internet?

Not thought provoking at all. For anyone who has a Facebook account, it's a pretty obvious observation.

What about friends who don't have children and post about their cats/dogs/guinea pigs/boyfriends/football teams/bands etc all the time, have they lost their identities too? I find them as irritating as the 'little johnny can swim 50m unaided at the age of 2' boasts (lies)...

It's a FB problem, not a motherhood problem. FB is for bragging and a sense of self importance. One would hope that FB is only one aspect of someone's life.

Society does not take its responsibility and duty to raise its children, therefore it falls to the mothers!

If society cared more for my ASD boy, I'd have a life!

I can think of worse things to subsumed into other than your own kids if you are a mother tbh.

I have chosen a photo to represent myself - my DD! She is very much an important part of me and someone who means a heck of a lot to me. She also looks very much like me when I was little anyway - just in more modern clothing.

My status updates and comments are sometimes about my children but mostly about other things such as work, study, my thoughts of the day etc. However I have been guilty of using a photo of my children from time to time as my profile picture. Not because my identity is wrapped up in my status as a mother but because I am quite vain and don't want the whole world to know that I could do with a trip to weightwatchers.

I

rainbowinthesky - I use DD's pic as my FB picture. I hate my photo taken ad rarely have pics of me. My DD's photos are far nicer than mine. It's as simple as that.

Makes sense to me but guess all right to choose...
My choice is a particular flower- a special one, taken by me in a particular place which resonates with me. But who would know?! Just a flower..,

I would rather see a cartoon character or a picture of your snazzy socks or something, at least then I know that you have chosen something to represent yourself rather than putting your child by default. Does that make sense?

I love Katie Roiphe - she's observant and always provocative.

I have a picture of my dc up because I am lazy and I hate (to the point of phobia) having my photo taken. If it offends you I will change it to one of my cat!

Yes, I get the feeling of wanting to say (very politely) that is not YOUR face.

On FB your photo is used as your ID when you play games so many women "hide" behind either their children's photo or a cartoon character. Unfortunately there are a persistent number of chancers who want you to talk dirty on the chat board or make unwanted personal remarks about your appearance. It is also a signal to other mothers that you can just play a quiet game with them with no hassle, so is a useful code.

Yes v insightful. Agree about the dinner party thing and all the boastful fb posts about kids...

That certainly is a very thought-provoking article.

I have never understood why people use their children's photo on Facebook or refer to their mumminess in their user name.