Women subsumed into their children

we should support womens choices instead of bashing them all the time, this means supporting and valuing the roles that women traditionally do as well as supporting and valuing those who do not wish to do those traditional roles.

If someone wants to identify primarily as a mother, so what? that is up to them.

well other people disagree with you, are they not allowed to think that raising the next generation is a role which is of great importance to society etc?

does it mean if someone says that a teachers role is important they are devaluing those who are not teachers, or a nurses role is of great importance they are devaluing those who are not nurses? if you say the most important job in the uk is the prime ministers or whatever is that devaluing everyone who is not prime minister?

tbh imo you can give value to someone without taking value away from someone else.

I agree with what wordfactory says here

But if women really want to be all about their DC, then that of course is their perogative. But what is corrosive is the message (often perpetuated by FB etc) that women who do not wish to be all about their babies are somehow lesser mothers.

Chandon

no I don't elevate mother to most important role.as it's not
that's not valuing motherhood to ascribe such sickly descriptions,in fact it smacks of women know your place - as most important role ti be attained is mutha. how then does one value childless women,are they less valuable?

are you attempting barbed wit
the humphy wee face doesn't enhance either
next

but cant you say the same about anything? like career is not the most important role. that links a woman to the chances and opportunities she had in life that may not be shared with others and implies that those without a career are less important.

But if someone feels like that is the most important thing in their life or if in general raising the next generation is fundemental to the well being of society and therefore is a role with major importance attatched to it how can you say that is wrong?

I thought feminism was about supporting women, valuing their contribution to society, and since a large proportion of women have the role of main career to their children, this role should be valued, it would be anti woman to not value it.

Scottishmummy, your post would carry more weight....if you had a different usename ...

no,mum isn't most important role.its a schlocky and cliched description as that infers a woman importance or usefulness is linked to fertility and maternal role. and if a woman childless is she less important?(as she's yet to full the most important role. you see consigning woman to status of most important person by virtue of being parent is deeply unfeminist. if mum is considered an elevated role does that include all mums, but disbar those not mums. no one gains an elevated status or understanding simply by being mum. I considered myself to be in an important role and useful and fulfilled prior to motherhood.

women are capable of many roles,mother,worker,student all multifaceted and can be undertaken simultaneously. I am not wholly defined by motherhood, or work but I place considerable significance on both activities

Pumpster, I wouldn't call Xenia's views on earning power representative of the FWR board and I don't think she would either.

You can also have a valuable job earning 'pin money' as you call it.

Am always by how much criticism there is of women, on the feminist section!

if i had a friend with a pic of an island i would just think it is a random island, even with a caption i would think yeah whatever, some joke or over my head reference, i wouldnt think it was their island

How many friends do you have on FB Xenia? and do you follow anyone on twitter?

The only reason your island has been mentioned is because you mentioned it: "My twitter picture is a picture of my island near the equator".

Indeed, it's bad enough that the magazines peddle a perfect life (= full of perfect consumer goods) that is instantly achievable if you have the dosh without individuals publicising their own interpretation of that consumerist perfection on Facebook.

I agree, wordfactory.
I also think that it's reasonably normal to be a great mother without being totally subsumed by motherhood; and that this is irrespective of whether one works outside the home or not.

As a slight aside, I can't stand those sickly twee "if you're happy to be a mummy of blah blah..." spam posts that perpetuate around FB - I love being DS's mother but it certainly isn't all of who I am.

I remain unconvinced that it is healthy to be subsumed by anything be that work, family, a sexual relationship.

But if women really want to be all about their DC, then that of course is their perogative. But what is corrosive is the message (often perpetuated by FB etc) that women who do not wish to be all about their babies are somehow lesser mothers.

After all, no one ever takes that view of fathers.

yy hiphopoptomus

I loved the experience of giving myself over to my babies - such a lovely change from being a professional in the office every day. For me it was a completely alternative universe and I enjoyed every moment of it, even if it was slightly surreal. Soon enough I'm back being the 'professional'.

If this gets reflected through my FB page so what? I'm proud of my babies and my mothering of them. I only have real friends on FB anyway, and it was nice to have that connection with the world through FB, especially in the dead of night up BF etc.

As an aside, i'd be surprised if most of the profile pictures are of older children.

When I had two under two I was subsumed by motherhood, I was fucking knackered - no family nearby, no childcare for either of them. I had absolutely no energy to do anything for myself.

Now they're two and four I go to the gym, sing in a choir, volunteer for a charity. But two years ago, my kids basically were the sum total of my life. I'd happily put my photo on now - two years ago, a photo of me knackered, overweight, to present myself to the world? No thanks.

Is it such a terrible thing to give a few years over to early childhood and pick up where you left off a bit later? It makes me really cross that people think it's wrong to concentrate on your children when they're tiny.

I agree ProvincialLady

"Some of my Facebook friends (who are real life mates) have pages that make their lives appear like they're a modern day 50's housewife, when in reality they're really funny women with fascinating jobs, friends and hobbies.

I wonder if a lot of it has to do with projecting yourself as how you want others to see you as opposed to what you actually are? "

I stopped being who I am on facebook in favour of a rather anodyne page that I basically use to manage my social calendar. Largely because of all the threads on here saying they hate it when people do x,y,z on fb and I got fed up of being paranoid all the time that someone may be being offended or sneering at me.

And the article criticising men for their facebook photo choices is where? Oh of course, there isn't one because this is just about finding a particularly dull and tedious stick to beat women with, isn't it?