For all those who have wondered why mansplaining is even a thing

Nauseating to witness I can imagine. Creepy in a sort of "begging" way.

Interesting article. I work with a couple on mansplainers - one who I have had to complain to management about, because he took "I know everything" to a new level, by deciding that he could opine on my team's work, without actually knowing anything about it (but he thinks he does, because he's awesome)

OneMoreChap I'm glad you think believe me, it is nauseating to witness

"I've read Cameron and Bozzo loathe each other." That's warming to hear - they are hated right up to their faces, rather than from just a distance the way I hate them.

"Oleaginous sounds about right. Like being rubbed in the face with...Spam, to a soundtrack of the worst mansplains ever."

I think it is helpful to have allies, though there can also be the kind that do it for the BJ

blackcurrants
hey liberal d00ds who think you're all so progressive

Smile, if you're saying that to me pardner...

I don't think I've ever tried to be a good feminist ally; as far as I can I try and be no group's ally.

Most groups, be they misogynists, football supporters, train spotters, the French, the Americans and particularly white middle-class Englishmen are unutterably awful.

I do, however, like people. If I can learn to treat people better by listening to a group, I'll swallow my distaste for the particular SIG. In this case, I'm hoping to improve the way I engage with 50% of the population by listening to all those "Feminists".

That group used to get my back up by "whining" about privilege. I read something on a feminist blog, that pointed me to realise what my game settings were. Lightbulb. It wasn't whining.

With ol' mate Bozzo

I've read Cameron and Bozzo loathe each other.

Oleaginous sounds about right. Like being rubbed in the face with...Spam, to a soundtrack of the worst mansplains ever.

Yes blackcurrants I agree. I think it is helpful to have allies, though there can also be the kind that do it for the BJ if you know what I mean.

I also think Robert Jensen and Jackson Katz are great to link to.

It does sadden me though, that many women and men (especially when they are new to feminism) seem to reject outright/not grasp things that are expressed by someone with a vagina.

Hey ho, we'll get there in the end though

namechange yes, I think he is saying something similar.

I think Scalzi really nails something here:
"And maybe at this point you say, hey, I like a challenge, I want to change my difficulty setting! Well, here?s the thing: In The Real World, you don?t unlock any rewards or receive any benefit for playing on higher difficulty settings. The game is just harder, and potentially a lot less fun. And you say, okay, but what if I want to replay the game later on a higher difficulty setting, just to see what it?s like? Well, here?s the other thing about The Real World: You only get to play it once. So why make it more difficult than it has to be? Your goal is to win the game, not make it difficult."

He says "life is harder and potentially a lot less fun" if you're not a straight white male. He actually says that! Not that women/feminists are oversensitive, looking for things to be offended about, overthinking it, whatever. But that their lives are harder and potentially a lot less fun.

Similar to when Louis CK says in your clip "If you're white and you don't want to admit that it's great you're an ASSHOLE!" - basically, denying your privilege makes you an arse. Basic fact of human existence to my mind, but really hard to get across.

"I just wonder what a conversation would be like with Cameron. Maybe not as Prime Minister but in a social gathering?"

I'm sure it would depend who he was talking to. With ol' mate Bozzo I'm sure he'd let down his guard and crack jokes about the tastelessness, laziness, worthlessness, ugliness, smelliness of the plebs, and have lots of disparaging nicknames for the electorate and 'final solution' style jokes about what to do with them, for others he'd probably be a bit cautious. He's probably got lots of practiced thoughtful and 'listening' faces while he stifles his boredom.

FoodUnit yes, it is extremely frustrating that a man says what women have been saying for years and years and suddenly opens up men's eyes to what's going on - I quite agree.

BUT since it is true that men listen more to other men (even talking about things like privilege, it seems) without getting their hackles up, then I like to point to "The Lowest Difficulty Setting There is" when men ask me "how do I be a good feminist ally?"

Scalzi is aware of his privilege and uses it to make other men aware of theirs. It's frustrating that it takes a man saying it to make other men listen, OHGODYES, but it also makes me think: hey liberal d00ds who think you're all so progressive, this is what Scalzi is doing to be a decent ally. What are YOU doing?

And so, I like it.

[ramblerambleramble]

I think I like the Scalzi article. Problem is , a lot of the gaming references go right over my head. If I get his drift, is he saying the same thing as Louis CK, here?

I'm advised that like most Old Etonians, he has a sort of easy charm about him, and he can get on with most people. He has that sort of oleaginous air about him.

I went to a boarding school, and visiting teachers would often comment how confident and self-assured boys were, and how politely we express interest.

If they stayed they learnt what a bunch of confident liers we were, and how casually cruel we were to each other. But very self-reliant.

You're right FoodUnit!

"David Cameron looks as though he's been carved out of Spam. That's a disadvantage."

Just goes to show, even if you look like you're carved out of spam, with that level of privilege you can still find yourself Prime Minister!

David Cameron looks as though he's been carved out of Spam. That's a disadvantage.

kim147 "As far as I see it, we are all a mixture of privilege and disadvantages."

I'd say this is true up to a point, but it is a bit detached to say, for example that David Cameron, although privileged (in just about every f*cking way possible) is also disadvantaged in some ways (don't know, maybe being a muppet? - is that a genuine disadvantage?) and that although all the virtually nameless orphans of AIDS in SubSaharan Africa are disadvantaged in some ways, they are privileged (such as living closer to the open latrine than their neighbour?) in others..... It is meaningless. Privilege and disadvantage are on a scale and often to incomparible extremes. It is inhumane to just call them different 'mixtures' and leave it there.

"So is that a general round of applause for him - and I guess I'm right to keep pointing folk at it?"

I think its good (but as a non-gamer some of the technicalities are lost on me). Anything that gets people to step outside of their circumstances to perceive the unfair barriers other people face is a good thing. I particularly like the way he keeps the fact that you can't choose your own setting until the end.

Probably poor, orphaned, working-class, congenitally physically & learning disabled, mentally ill, black lesbian single mother living under misogynist rule, such as the Taliban.

Sorry I missed the hubbub, IRL some back to back calls.

I liked the post because it patiently sets out how this isn't some sort of "You've had it easy, bub, and all women have it tough..." but more "You're playing on easy, women are playing on hard, and if you're [choose any Daily Fascist hate group], you're playing extreme"

I can relate to that as I tend to play XBOX games on n00b, and all the visiting kids play on insane. In real life, as a tall, white, "posh-ish" accent man, who's articulate, I find it easy to get things my own way, where other folk find it harder.

Of course it's easy for me. I didn't like the privileged term, though. Scalzi made me understand why it applies.

So is that a general round of applause for him - and I guess I'm right to keep pointing folk at it?

Just googled and read the

Scalzi post

Not bad.