Women only playbarn

messy " Women shouldn't feel uncomfortable showing their wobbly bits to men, but quite a few do..."

so there is a correct way for people to feel now? and it is ok to invalidate the feelings of someone who doesnt agree with you.

in my community too we have a lot of mums and kids events, the childrens centres and stuff have tried very hard to get dads involved and had dads and kids events, DADI days etc, but hasnt been very successful.

imo we should be encouraging fathers to spend more time doing activities with the kids in environments such as this, and I really dont see why womens only sessions wouldnt be ok?

we should join hands with f4j and protest outside the playcentre

Eclectic I totally get that it makes your blood boil. And from a black and white point of view you are 100% right. But if forcing women to mix with men meant that women stayed at home, would you just say "tough luck" or would you be sympathetic to the fact that these women were just acting according to the social customs that they have been brought up with, and so genuinely cannot stop themselves from feeling "uncomfortable" in a mixed situation.

I'm betting on the "tough luck">

It seems to have been a business decision based on what people want, I guess.

It wouldn't even get mooted around here.

I suppose the culture has to be changed first? If there are women who, say, aren't allowed to go to places where there might be men, then this would be good for them. I imagine that's why it was done. There was a demand.

Certainly there are currently women only and men only sessions at all sorts of things and that is no problem.

I am sure that women in these communities have access to women only spaces elsewhere. Give it a couple of generations and there will not be this requirement any more I reckon. UK is good at that sort of thing!

The whole segregation thing just makes my blood boil... As you can probably tell :)

I'm just sickened that this has happened. It's not much different to saying whites only.

If these women stopped acting like victims in this specific scenario it would be more beneficial. It's so backward it's unbelievable and yet the same people who support this ban want women to be treated equally.

Eclectic are people on the thread supporting the actions of this soft play place? Vast majority / all seem to be saying they don't like it.

Yes I think that is a very normal / standard feeling.

I bet there are loads if we set our minds to it!

I did sit in pubs by myself - waiting for others usually - and it was fine BUT for some reason the males in the pub would imagine that woman in pub by self = gagging to talk to ME!!! And it was very annoying.

Taking a newspaper or book helps. Not that I go out any more these days

You can't equate a gym or pub with a soft play. It really saddens me that people think it's acceptable to bar one gender from an establishment. It's ridiculous. Can you not see how silly and discrimatory it is. Women need to stop hiding and adapting their behaviour because of perceived inequality and just get on with it rather than actually making inequality in their favour.

I get that there's a real demand for this in the area, but it is really truly illegal.

From a feminist POV it's a toughy, like bans on veils. I think that anything that reinforces the caring for children=women's work only rule is a bad thing, but in practice, in the short term, while we wait for the patriarchy to be overthrown in the local community, it would make many local women's lives a bit easier.

I'm coming down on the side of the law here.

I must go and sit in a pub by myself soon and see if things have improved there

this is something I've never felt comfortable doing.

HA! Yes! I remember going with a friend to look at a local gym about 20 years ago - she had come back from overseas and wanted to join one - and on the way she said "if it's full of men with those funny little belts on then I'm not joining" and we walked in and the man on the desk had a funny little belt on and in the gym it was just loads of belted men grunting and sweating.

My friend decided quite quickly it was not the place for her!

Sad fact is that many places looking back have been men only just because they are. That is changing very slowly. But I think that's what some blokes don't realise is that women were effectively barred from lots of things - there didn't need to be an official ban - it's just how it was.

I must go and sit in a pub by myself soon and see if things have improved there

IDSWYM

Interestingly at the gym, there is a "power" room, full of weights and other "manly" apparatus. It's not technically closed to women but in reality no woman goes near it. The idea of lickle weedy me going in there fills me with fear ! I see it as a good analogy to RL sexual politics IYSWIM

It's a bit chicken and egg that one messy!

About the gym and the wobbly bits - maybe women feel uncomfortable because past life experiences have made them that way IYSWIM.

At the local church they also have separate meetups for men and women. The women's is named something silly to do with power and strength whilst the men's is named something matey so to appear not too sharey/emotional.

I don't really have a problem with separate social clubs as long as each gender has complete equal access and isn't excluded for economic or political reasons. For example there have been complaints about Mumsnet being geared for women (even though it's open to men) but dads are at complete liberty to set up their own website and I'm sure there are quite a few. On the other hand, in terms of the old working men's clubs, when they were established women simply didn't have the money, legal power or freedom to set their own up. Which made the whole thing hugely unfair.

In this case though I agree with Eclectic. The fact that the women feel uncomfortable around men and welcome the freedom to socialise uncovered is the underlying problem and where the solution lays. It's a bit like ladies' gyms. Women shouldn't feel uncomfortable showing their wobbly bits to men, but quite a few do...

I think they would have been better off with LONG women only sessions Mon-Fri, if they feel that is what will suit the customers.

That would presumably meet things better - they must want family / party business at weekends surely. And wouldn't attract attention from the press.

whoever said they are not sure if its true - it is true, i know people over there who have been talking about this place. the reaction i heard from the muslim community in that area was really positive about it actually, the mums are saying its really good to have a womens only place and that mainly mums are looking after kids while dads in work anyway so they think its logical and fine and will be better for them to feel comfy in there etc

personally when i go soft play im not bothered if men are there or not but i dont think its that big of a deal that this place is women only. its catering for a market that want women only events, and its a business so surely its up to them what service they offer?

we have loads of womens and kids only fundays and events in our community so to me a women only soft play is not really such a big leap from that although i admit i dont see a major need from it, as dads at soft play is not too much of an issue for me. some women are a lot more comfier in a strictly segregated environment

This is the sort of thing that happens in countries where women have less rights than men.

The idea is ridiculous. Both men and women should be able to take their kids to soft play. I usually go with my son and his dad and make a day of it. You can't exclude men because women don't feel comfortable. The underlying reasons for the women feeling uncomfortable need to be addressed. Segregation is not the way IMO.

another article on the same thing

Oh something was at the back of my mind as well.

"Why do you think there are so few male primary school teachers? The reason is they s**t themselves at the thought of being accused of 'inappropriate contact', which is the ill-informed background suspicion that lingers over much man-to-child contact, thanks to the tabloid media fostering headline-producing hysteria."

This:

male applicants to primary teaching up 50% due to recession

Men haven't been going into primary teaching because there were more lucrative, prestigious options. Now that we are in recession, the applications are up.

One wonders where the women who would have gone into primary school teaching will go now that positions are being taken by more men - but that's for another thread and the story whenever times are hard and men have trouble finding employment.

A group of men stating they want to play with their kids, in today's society?

They may as well tatto 'Ian Huntley Fan Club' on their foreheads.

There are quite a few 'dads and tots' groups round my way, nobody seems to have a problem with them. I think they're a great idea.

I think women only sessions are a good idea too but agree that making the entire premises women only is OTT.

It seems a bit sad TBH. What if you wanted to organise your 4yr old birthday party there? Are they honestly saying that the child's dad couldn't go?

Yes I agree.