Pokes head in wonders if she's going to get flambeed ... I'm floundering with this one it's thrown me a bit

Threads on here, a million magazine articles, chicks flicks & novels, our friends and even counsellors ... all about working it out, with the onus on the woman. Historically, not having a husband meant a life sentence to servitude or even death in a poorhouse. Politically, it's advantageous to the male that the female feels she must have a man and, once had, must keep him.

Takes a while to get out of that mindset! Glad to hear it hasn't affected you, Merlin :)

It wasn't, garlicbutt .

I'm actually against the trend 'let's make any relationship work at any costs', if something can't work it never will.
I think I got your point of view, some women feel pressured into make relationships work despite sex isn't that good but... I might ask you a question... why did they feel pressured into believing it was going to get better later on? Society, prejudice? Not talking about sizes here, in reality those don't matter at all... I'm talking about sex compatibility (meaning that any size that can't fit your needs).

There is a very persistent idea that women should 'make relationships work', certainly if the non-'working' part is the man's penis. I can well imagine many women battling along with recommended positions, pelvic floor exercises and convincing herself it's not important before finally admitting the sex is a problem.
I have to say your statement sounded like that kind of pressure to me.

Should women only be allowed to dump men for specific reasons, then?

I expressed my opinion, my 2 cents about what the OP posted. I'm not tutoring a class in relationships and feelings. Anyone is free to do whatever or to dump even 200 bfs for any reason they like. It's their business, not mine.

In my opinion, dumping someone only because he has a small dick is a shallow behaviour, also because... the woman didn't see it before getting into a relationship with the guy? Honestly I met some guys with incredibly small dicks too. After the first time I slept with them, I just understood it couldn't work, period. They were never my boyfriends and I just told them I wasn't interested in them anymore.
I didn't follow any other threads so I've no idea if some of you are referring to some women in particular, I just gave my opinion concerning the thread

women dumping men because of their intimate parts. Appalling.

Really, Merlin, appalling? Should women only be allowed to dump men for specific reasons, then? Perhaps you could tell us what preferences we must have.

I suddenly had an urge to post a link to that song about gentlemen's genitalia from The Meaning of Life, but suppressed it.

WAY inappropriate on fem section

fnar fnar

You said length!

Sorry you kind of said that but I thought it was worth repeating at length

Surely it's predominantly men who make the big cock = good small cock = bad stuff?

I have heard men joking about each other having small willies loads, it's a standard thing isn't it?

And they compare themselves to men in porn films as well.

All the creams and lotions and contraptions supposed to make it larger - it often strikes me that the idea is to have a large penis for the sake of having a large penis, rather than even seemingly relating to sex at all IYSWIM.

Most women I imagine prefer a standard one, within the range of normal, and not at either extreme, whether large or small.

I agree that equating large penis/hardness with "good" and the opposite with "bad" is just...well, silly and not great from a feminist point of view. Someone I know once described a film as "limpdick film" because, I don't know, it wasn't just people shooting each other. That just exemplifies the penis-worshipping attitude of the patriarchy IMO, and man good/woman worthless kind of crap.

So, the language used is often really rude (and not in a good way :o) and making a connection between big cocks and other desirable, er, attributes is stupid and negative (both for women and men). BUT if someone has a quality which FOR YOU is a deal-breaker, whether that's having a small penis or an annoying laugh or bad taste in sunglasses or WHATEVER then of course you can break up with them. Accusing women of being "shallow" is just, to me, another way of saying "women have to be nice and appreciative of any man who points his cock in her direction, and take it as a compliment, how dare she have needs and opinions of her own?"

There's a man who wants a relationship with me in whom I'm not at all interested. The number of people who've implied that because he's "nice" I'm basically a bit of a bitch not to forget my own feelings and get together with him is :(.

That's quite a funny thread!!

Well I never dumped any man only because he had a small penis although I felt uneasy to stay around a guy who had a big one Once the relationship fell apart, the guy with the big penis went into the bin anyway, no matter what (I'm not even the only one because a friend of mine did the same). Honestly, penis' size never mattered, compatibility yes.

I didn't have time to check the other thread but I agree with who said that we teach to young girls to detach themselves of all the stereotypes about big boobs/arses/etc and then there are women dumping men because of their intimate parts. Appalling.

For me the issue isn't really whether you should or shouldn't stay with a man who doesn't satisfy you sexually (noon elses business but the individuals involved), but about objectifying language.

So, hilarious as it may be to talk about needle dicks and do the little finger wagging thing as shorthand for a man being a loser or otherwise inadequate, maybe that's perpetuating the idea that smaller willies are useless, which must be pretty mortifying if you've got one.

but not too big

That would create a deal of inner conflict!

Only if its big enough :o

It just seems similar to the pressure on girls to conform to a body size/image/look.

Not unless men are now going round with their penises on public display!

They all suffer the cosmetic pressure you refer to, Hathor. Just that girls suffer a lot more of it.

On the Whatme Feminist Penis Assessment Scale, I appear to be a marxist, sex-positive, radical feminist That would create a deal of inner conflict!

I don't believe anyone dumps anyone else solely and purely because of a small penis

But I've already said I have done! FWIW, I've also dumped boyfriends whose members were too big for me. I imagine I've been dumped for reasons of sexual incompatibility, too.

Neither I nor my exes have ever been so mean as to state the actual reason - it's an intrinsic part of who we are, same as a sense of humour, cultural preferences and so on. Would be vile to say "You're too big /small /floppy /unsophisticated /thick /etc." But they are still valid reasons to discontinue a relationship.

Ahem - I have done a little Feminist Analysis here:

Liberal Feminists - all cocks are equal (but some are more equal than others....)
Marxist Feminits - to each according to her neeeeeds
Libertarian Feminists - I choose that one. No, that one, or, um...that one.
Eco-Feminists - can a cock be part of a vegan diet?
Sex Positive Feminists - a cock in the hand isn't as good as one in the bush
Radical Feminist - cocks are merely tools of The Patriarchy

YY plenty of people dump blokes because they are too big.

Hathor what does that make you think, do you think?

And no, I don't have his number.

I don't believe anyone dumps anyone else solely and purely because of a small penis or any other small or big body part, unless there is other stuff that also makes them not want to continue with that relationship, or unless they are extremely shallow in which case the person being dumped has had a lucky escape, or unless they genuinely are going to have a terrible sex life for the rest of the relationship in which case I think it's justified.

Sometimes body parts just don't fit. I actually know someone who dumped a bloke because his penis was too big - it was enormous and it hurt her to have PIV sex with him.

I can see if you have boys it would be upsetting to think of.

But people get dumped for all sorts of reasons - and men being dumped for small penis is surely a tiny (no pun intended) proportion?

I mean, if a man gets dumped because he's boring, or controlling, or annoying, or no fun, or slovenly, or any of a vast number of reasons, that is really awful too! And also not all things they can do anything about.

Like someone who is into model trainsets needs to look a little bit harder for someone who also is into that, or at least tolerant - so a person with an unusually small member needs to look a little bit harder (again no pun intended!) for someone who is happy with it. Don't you think?