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Original poster

Is sexual orientation a choice?

441 replies

WidowWadman · 13/06/2012 20:00

Julie Bindel seems to think so.

Is it just me or is that actually fairly offensive?

OP posts:
Margerykemp · 13/06/2012 22:44

I believe that some people's sexual orientation can change over their lifecourse. I've known several women who became lesbians after having very long term relationships with men. I dont think they were 'hiding' their true sexuality before that. I can see how that might come from not 'needing' to have sex with men once you have completed your family.

I've also known women who came out after being sexually abused/assaulted/raped. I've sometimes wondered if they would have identified as straight if it hadn't been for the abuse, as i can see why they wouldnt want to ever be with another man after that.

As well as the heterosexual/homosexual spectrum there is also the asexual/highly sexual spectrum. ie some people may on the surface be in straight or gay relationships but arent actually having any sex. Or then you get other people who have relationships with one gender but sex with another.

EclecticShock · 13/06/2012 22:44

That's what I thought, littlemiss, very contradictory article.

StepOutOfSpring · 13/06/2012 22:43

Agree it's the right-wing media which describes anything they don't agree with as a "lifestyle choice".

HotheadPaisan · 13/06/2012 22:43

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LittleMissSomersault · 13/06/2012 22:43

Having read the article again, I think I find it more offensive. She seems to offend every side - heterosexual women for reasons grimble outlines; heterosexual men for being oppressive; bisexual women for not being "political" enough; bisexual women for being psychologically weak and doubting their own feelings; lesbians for being seduced by the media and society into sleeping with men; and everybody else for being judgemental. The only person she doesn't judge is herself and anybody exactly like her.

enimmead · 13/06/2012 22:41

Or is he not allowed to say what image the media have - even if he disagrees with it?

enimmead · 13/06/2012 22:41

NCG said the media have this image of radical feminists.

Is he incorrect with this image that the media have of radical feminists?

EclecticShock · 13/06/2012 22:39

Well, ncg can post whatever he wants within talk guidelines, just like we all can.

enimmead · 13/06/2012 22:39

I get that - but what is not on?

HotheadPaisan · 13/06/2012 22:39

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enimmead · 13/06/2012 22:39

Who do you think is stereotyping?

NCG or the media

HotheadPaisan · 13/06/2012 22:38

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enimmead · 13/06/2012 22:37

What's not acceptable? NCG suggesting that is the image or the image itself.

The image itself is not acceptable - but that is an image some people think off when they think of radical feminists.

EclecticShock · 13/06/2012 22:37

Hothead, let everyone have their say. You don't have any right to deem what is acceptable or not.

HotheadPaisan · 13/06/2012 22:36

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enimmead · 13/06/2012 22:35

I think NCG is suggesting the media have an image of radical feminists of "dungaree man hating lesbians". He may have used unacceptable language "dyke" but I think it is ok him suggesting the media have such an image.

Which is a disappointing image to have really - I thought feminism had moved away from that image. However it is hard to discuss feminism on forums other than this one as you just get men (and some women) having a go and not listening to anything you say. It's hard to get some people to take feminism seriously.

grimbletart · 13/06/2012 22:34

She says Despite huge progress since I came out in 1977, it is still not really acceptable to reject men and choose not to live under their guardianship, whether you are in Saudi Arabia or the U.K.

So she thinks that being a heterosexual woman means living under male guardianship. WAF?

I cannot take a woman that silly seriously.

EclecticShock · 13/06/2012 22:33

It's not unacceptable... It's their description...

HotheadPaisan · 13/06/2012 22:29

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namechangeguy · 13/06/2012 22:22

I think she is a poor journo hack. I think she seems bitter towards people of a different sexual orientation to herself. I think she hates men. I think she adds to an unfortunate stereotype that the media at large loves to play up when it comes to feminist politics. I am sorry, but that is how I feel, and I don't think it is unfair.

HotheadPaisan · 13/06/2012 22:18

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namechangeguy · 13/06/2012 22:16

Just another two-bit hack who adds to the image of radical feminists as sour, embittered, man-hating dykes. Can someone explain this to me please? On the subject of a US survey of 400 lesbian and bisexual women;

'It was also found that "[s]ome bisexual women actually doubt whether bisexual women exist at all." '

Does that mean that said women doubted their own existence? Mind-bending.

kim147 · 13/06/2012 22:11

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HotheadPaisan · 13/06/2012 22:10

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Leithlurker · 13/06/2012 22:07

At what level does the choice stop though, she (Bindle) was making it pretty clear that lesbians were undermined by some people having both male and female partners. That would imply that those gay people not interested in the opposite gender have limited capacity to live thier lives with out feeling some kind of pressure. I just cannot go along with that.

She also want to equate feminism with being a lesbian movement. That seems again to deny millions of women the autonomy of their own minds.

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