Need some advice re. internal examination at Drs

The burying it for a while thing, and then it reappearing is common too. If you want to talk about what happened, we're here. And there are some amazingly supportive women here. It's the first place I ever told.

I probably muttered something about past experience but noone has asked me detail at all.

At our practice the nurse generally performs smears and she is female.

The few times I have asked to check "is it going to be a woman doctor / is the nurse female" they have just said yes.

They are used to women requesting women to perform smears and other intimate examinations, they will not ask why, you will not need to explain yourself.

(And if they do ask why then think about changing docs as that is really not usual).

I am so sorry for what that doctor did. Also it is quite common for reactions to things like that to manifest after years, that is not unusual at all.

Yes and you won't be the only one. They will have other women patients who are very very nervous of smears.

I'm in a similar position. I told my female doctor. She arranged for the female nurse to call me. We had an initial appointment to chat, re the procedure, getting to know each other kinda stuff. Then smear appointment that I was free to walk away from at any point. We never discussed the detail of why I had an issue. And they were all fine about it.

Hope that info is useful. I detest smears etc too. Detest them. So really feel for you.

As i understand it you are perfectly entitled to request a female doctor and you do not have to give any reasons why unless you want to.

Good luck and I hope you are able to get some support working through your awful experience.

Noone will bat an eyelid if you ask for a female, and you will not have to explain why, you have every right to ask for a female, and a chaperone should akso be offered. Sorry you had such a horrible experience in the past.

Sorry to hear you are struggling like this. I asked to see a woman and I didn't explain why - you really shouldn't have to. Then when it came to the appointment just explained that I was extremely nervous of it - which was obvious tbh.

You could additionally phone up and explain you are very nervous and can you see a woman who is good with nervous patients. Your experience may be less usual, but other woman will be very nervous because of their own experiences and you don't have to tell them why if you don't want to.

I actually chose to go to a clinic where the Dr does loads of smears as I thought she would be more technically skilled, and she was. It was way way better than I anticipated.

I am so sorry this has happened to you,
You know you need this exam so don't explain just book with a female DR, and explain that it stresses you out and could the DR ring you and then ask for a mild sedative if you think that may help, Is there some one you can bring that you trust and makes you feel safe? Ask it may actually be the nurse who does the exam
Is there a local well woman clinic near you that you could go to instead?
Have you had counselling? Would you go it may help if you can afford it go privately with out a GP referal

you won't have to tell them WHY you want a female, just call and say you do - they won't ask you why.. many women feel more comfortable with a female and some can only have a female for religious reasons... if you don't want to discuss this you won't have to, but on the other hand, you could use this opportunity to open up about it to a female doctor and maybe get some advice about addressing it.

Can you check on the practice website if the practice manager is female? If so you could ring and ask her for help. Otherwise you can often leave a message asking the practice nurse or nurse practitioner to ring you (assuming they are female of course)