AIBU to treat male and female posters differently on feminism threads?

FU - I'd have thought you don't have to use internalised misogeny nor patriarchial indoctrination to establish the on-going praticing of inequality in 2012 UK. Just about every index of social/economic obs. backs it up.

Most men pay lip service to equality. Their own privilege is largely invisible to them (as privilege generally is to the privileged)- so they wouldn't know where to begin to address the internalised misogyny and patriarchal indoctrination that has influenced them since birth.

how is life back in the 1950's pan?

I am posting to disagree massively with the notion that 'most men(UK) beleive in equality'. It;s a pretty outlandish statement and flies in the face of every life experience that I have had.
And the 'religous nutters' is an absurd element. Discrimination is endemic and part of our 'culture' - most British men essentially want what makes life easy for them.

thank you xenia , it's refreashing to hear that most british men belive in equality.

I certainly stand by the first part that most men except a few religious nutters think women should have the vote and not be discriminated at work. I would have thought most men if asked think things ought to be fair at home. That does not mean all men (or all women) notice when things aren't fair and a load of women and men too can be pretty lazy and leave things to their other half.
I agree there are some groups where women seem to have to accept that they do more at home even if they are working similar hours at work and women need to be vigilant to ensure that does not happen to them.

I have never had any trouble debnating things with men. Most British men believe in equality without discrimination under the law for men and women and fairness at home. That is feminism. I also spend a reasonable about of time supporting male rights after divorce and rights to stay home in an equal way with women. I don't think I would argue pointd differently if a man were there not a woman.

Posting that after I said I would leave this discussion is a low blow, Eats. All of her points were wide of the mark - all of them.

"I think a woman cannot be expected to keep more than one man informed and well-versed in feminism without wasting a disproportionate amount of her precious time - when she could be enjoying herself and/or overthrowing patriarchy instead."

Now that really made me laugh out loud.

I'm sure MrFoodUnit is very happy too.

" It should be a space for women to discuss feminism. I should clarify that I am not talking about men being abusive, just men not understanding feminism."

I think it should be a space for feminists to discuss feminism. And those who are genuinely interested in being feminists but who perhaps don't know how to get there.

No I wont............................damn!

LOL... Sanjeev, you'll be back - you know you can't resist the fem boards!!

I'm a feminist and married to a man. I think a woman cannot be expected to keep more than one man informed and well-versed in feminism without wasting a disproportionate amount of her precious time - when she could be enjoying herself and/or overthrowing patriarchy instead.

So yes, when men come on feminist threads with confused, contradictory contributions I find it irritating.... not only because I feel more of my time is being taken up by taking care of men than I want, but also because men are usually unconsciously protecting their own entitlements (which female posters can't be doing - though they may be shooting themselves in the foot) whilst exhibiting annoying male postures of 'chivalrously protecting' posters who defend male interests, or taking the 'detached' (i.e.- patriarchal mainstream) 'overview' where they sanctimoniously profess their impartial, sensible, 'not-womanly confused', final word - which is of course WRONG!

I generally post 'I am a man' because it seems important to a lot of people here. It isn't a look at me statement, so apologies if it seems that way. It also seemed relevant to the OP, as she originally didn't want to respond to men, and said so explicitly. I did not want to appear as trying to fool her. I will leave it at that and go back to read-only mode, but thanks to those who responded politely.

I agree with Seventh. When you see a post on a feminist forum saying something like "I'm a man, so I will be ignored" it comes off as a bit of a pity party - like you're trying to provoke people into answering you, when really lots of posts get unanswered in these forums, that's just normal.

Sorry Sanjeev, I'm sure you didn't mean to come off that way, it's just I have seen it a lot on feminist forums.

Ditto to Kritiq about the liking of anonymity. It means you are judged by the content of the post which is good.

SeventhEverything, I was hoping that you could see it was a direct analogy to the OP's original predicament, and how it might play out in real life. If it wasn't, then allow me to explain - it was a direct analogy to the OP's original predicament, and how it might play out in real life.

The OP was gracious enough to see this and give me a polite reply. I feel you are making assumptions that are purely to suit your own agenda.

As Bennifer so eloquently put it, this is an anonymous internet forum. My type is no larger than yours. My voice is no different to yours. I have no privilege here. I find your interpretation disappointing.

One of the things I like, or at least previously have liked about internet forums is that you often don't know anything about the other posters, including their sex, age, ethnicity or location. I have found that makes it easier to engage with ideas without preconceptions (even unintentional) of where they are coming from. Of course, people can choose to disclose things about themselves and that can shift the dynamics of the discussion sometimes.

Unfortunately, it seems most discussions on line these days happen within Facebook or Twitter, so aren't anonymous. In fact, you may know more about the person from what they display on their profile than you would about someone you meet and talk with in real life. I think this can be a barrier to the discussion of ideas, and leads to a strange dynamic - you know alot about someone without necessarily knowing them. It's easier to get personal from the safe distance of the web, and you actually have more material to use if you want to get personal.

Sorry if that seems a bit of a tangent, but one of the things I like about this forum is that it is still fairly anonymous. As far as I know, I've only ever met one or two forum members in real life. I don't click on profiles so know very little about others and with all the name changing that happens, I don't really keep up with who's who.

So, I don't immediately think about whether a poster is male or female, unless they make it obvious. Because of the membership of mumsnet, I tend to assume contributors are women.

I'm not sure that I consciously engage with male posters (where I'm aware they are male) differently than female posters. For either, I am happy to provide my ideas and insights, and when I have time, links to further information for those who are enquiring. But, I don't feel any specific responsibility to be more patient or cajoling with women than with men on an internet forum. Whether male or female, if you genuinely wish to be open minded, genuinely wish to engage in discussion about systemic oppression, then you'll be willing to put in the time to find out things and not expect to be spoonfed. Those who are, well I tend to question whether they are genuine in their interest or even if they are, whether they are at the point on their "journey" where spoon feeding would actually make any difference.

My take on it is this. When we discuss anything with anybody in real life, context is important. I'm a scientist, so I'll discuss my work differently with colleagues at work then I will with one of my friends in a pub. To deny context would be unreasonable. Also, in real life, perhaps in a male dominated arena, such as if I worked on a building site, I might find it very difficult to discuss feminism, because the men there might talk over me, or there might be a male boss who does convey privilege and therefore I'd be less able to express my views

However, in MN, we're just words on a screen. Men have no privilege here. That means I'd take someone's gender into consideration (if I knew it), but I wouldn't worry too much about male privilege in this space as I think it doesn't exist