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Original poster

'Boys and girls are different' - how to respond?

103 replies

Lottapianos · 26/04/2012 13:02

I'm a feminist and I believe that perceived gender differences are down to social conditioning, including in very young children. I'm also an Early Years professional and I work with children aged 0-4 years old.

I have a colleague who often makes comments about 'innate' gender differences: 'boys and girls really are different', 'boys need access to outdoor play more than girls do', 'boys find listening more difficult', 'boys are less likely to be interested in books than girls are'. The listening and books theories I tend to agree with, not because of innate differences, but because adults' expectations of boys and girls are so hugely different, and young children pick up on this and behave accordingly.

All of this bothers me a lot. She's a very experienced and brilliant colleague and I have a lot of respect for her, but I am very anti-biological essentialism as I feel it restricts the development of all children (and adults) by putting people into boxes. I would like to be able to challenge what she says but I don't feel confident enough at the moment.

Anyone got any thoughts on this or any counter-arguments that I could use? I'm tempted to just throw Cordelia Fine's 'Delusions of Gender' at her! Grin

OP posts:
KRITIQ · 26/04/2012 13:33

The Cordelia Fine book would be a good start, seriously. It is worrying if she is basing her practice on unsound, unsubstantiated evidence. For example, if she genuinely believes that boys need access to outdoor play more than girls (wtaf?) then this may influence how she arranges activities for children in her care and the differing messages she gives to boys and girls when she engages with them.

If she expressed similiar "biological determinist" views about say, working class and middle class, black and white or disabled and non disabled children, surely you would feel compelled to put her right. I would suggest the same applies here.

SerialKipper · 26/04/2012 13:28

If you think an overt discussion is going to work, go for that.

But if you think she'll react badly, have a discussion about high/low expectations affecting children's academic or developmental achievements.

Then drop in at the end, "Of course, that's true of gender, too."

cornflakegirl · 26/04/2012 13:24

Does it actually matter? I mean, could you conclusively prove your argument that there are no innate gender differences, without some sort of completely unfeasible and unethical trial?

Isn't it more important to react to the situation you are actually in. Eg if the boys are less likely to be interested in books, to find ways to interest them in books, so that their development isn't restricted?

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