Am i over reacting by feeling unconfortable about this?

31 replies

carernotasaint · 24/04/2012 21:16

I got a taxi home from town today and it was a driver ive used before.
Conversation went something like this.
Him..How are you
Me...Fine thanks.
Hows your husband.
Same.Still not too well.
Him...so neither of you are working at the mo.
me ....No cos hes not well enough too.
Him .....how old is he?
so i told him and then he said "oh that must make it hard for you and then he asked whether my husband was well enough to have sex (I was completely caught off guard and instead of telling him to fuck off and mind his own which is what i should have done) i said "no hes not well enough now"
Then he asked how long it had been so i said "a long while" then he started calling me a "very good woman"

Loads of mumsnetters know my situation and i did not tell him stuff on purpose. He caught me off guard and i really wasnt expecting it.
I am not attracted to him in any way. Sorry i dont even know why im posting this,its just when i got indoors and started to pack the shopping away i started to feel a bit uncomfortable. Am i giving off a vibe that i dont know about? i cant stop the feeling that ive been a bit stupid.

OP posts:

skrumle · 24/04/2012 23:33

If it was a public hire taxi then it will be licensed by the local council. It may be licensed even if it's private hire but that varies slightly. So you could put a complaint into the council rather than to the company, although the company are prob more likely to do something I would think for that kind of incident.

Unless you know him really well that was a totally inappropriate direction for him to take the conversation!

MsAnnTeak · 24/04/2012 22:20

When it came to the 'is your husband well enough for sex' part I would have sternly asked him to stop the taxi, gave him a peace of my mind and called another without paying the fare and probably ranted to the next taxi driver about the previous one.
You haven't but if I were you I would certainly get back in touch with the driver, have a friend with you if need be and in no uncertain terms tell him how offensive his behaviour was and you are considering reporting him. Hopefully he will think twice about ever trying those comments on another passenger.

AyeRobot · 24/04/2012 22:06

Who on earth does he think he is?

This is where women are caught in a cleft stick - in all reasonable consumer circs, you would report him to his employers. But he knows where you live, so that adds an extra dimension that makes that course of action potentially unsafe.

You aren't wrong in your feelings. Don't use him again and warn other women you know not to as well.

Original poster

carernotasaint · 24/04/2012 21:55

Thankyou ladies. i guess i really wasnt paying attention to him at first so when he asked a nosier question i just answered it automatically without thinking. I will put it down to experience.

OP posts:

WomanlyWoman · 24/04/2012 21:34

I'd agree, you are not over reacting. I don't know his motives but tbh he sounds creepy to me, what has your sex life to do with him? Nothing. I'd give him as wide a berth as possible if I were you. And no, you have not done anything wrong.

SardineQueen · 24/04/2012 21:31

I don't know your story but this is what I think.

It's not so much the actual conversation as how you felt.
Clearly his question was totally out of order.
However what is really important is how did you feel in the situation.

However you felt is the right answer. If you felt he was being creepy then he was being creepy. If you felt he was just being friendly and went too far then ditto.

I don't think you are giving off any vibes, lots of people ask inappropriate questions, that was to do with him, not you.

if you are uncomfortable with him then next time use a different driver/firm.

It was an out of line question and you would not be over-reacting at all to stop using him.

And you definitely haven't done anything stupid.

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