This isn't exactly a thread about a thread, but another thread got me thinking about this. Sorry if that's not allowed. I'm not sure why I feel like this is a feminist issue and I'm really struggling to articulate it to myself so I'm hoping for some insight from another perspective.
I feel like there is something profoundly unfair about expecting post-puberty girls to share a room with their brother, even if he is younger.
I think young dc (younger than 7 or so) might benefit from having a shared bedroom with an opposite sex sibling if the parents are careful to avoid gender stereotyping them. In that situation I think it might help them to feel entitled to play with the "wrong" gender's toys etc and it means they wouldn't have to justify it to friends before they are articulate enough to do so. I think it might also help them to share their interests with each other more and therefore realise that they're not really that gender specific.
However I think that it is necessary to split them up before either of them reaches puberty. I don't think there is anything wrong with same-sex dc sharing a room though, even if one is prepubescent and the other is older. I'm not sure if this is me playing into some kind of idea that girls are only "normal" until they reach puberty and then they become so different and alien that they must be hidden. I'm also concerned that it might be that I am subconsciously supporting the idea that girls need to have privacy in order to "prepare" themselves for boys, as if interaction with boys should be a "presentation" of themselves rather than normal everyday experiences. Despite these misgivings I really feel like it's very unfair for a parent to force their teenage dd to share a room with her brother. I think it's showing a lack of respect for her dignity and her boundaries as she develops, and I think this lack of respect for women's boundaries is difficult to cope with as a teenager. It is something which happens a lot outside of the home, and I feel like home should be like a haven where teenage girls don't have to defend their boundaries to privacy all the time. I have no issues at all about parents deciding lots of things for teenagers, but I think by 11 or 12, a girl should be encouraged to be making up her own mind about what she feels comfortable with, and that the parents need to facilitate this. I think most of the time a 12 year old girl would not choose to share a bedroom with her 10 year old brother all the time. And I don't think simply getting changed in the bathroom (as was suggested on the thread in question) resolves that.
Sorry this is waffle. I think there is a point in there somewhere but I just can't articulate it.