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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

New Trans thread as requested by HQs.

605 replies

oilfilledlamp · 17/04/2012 22:49

Please forgive the intrusion but I've been out tonight and only recently got back. I wanted to respond to MadWomanintheattic earlier when she posted

"If I were an mtf trans (pre op or post op) the last place I'd want to fetch up is in a women's refuge, because of the potential for making other people feel ill at ease. But nothing is clear cut, really.

How often does this happen, really? Has there been any research into prevalence and motivation?

OP posts:
DowagersHump · 18/04/2012 13:49

Of course I believe you HugeManatee - I wish I didn't :(

KRITIQ · 18/04/2012 13:45

Hully, I can't really explain it. I can't remember a time when I didn't "know" I was in the wrong place and I'm not sure how or when I worked out where the right place was. My parents thought it was just a phase - didn't stand in my way, but didn't financially or otherwise support me. It's easiest just to blame the Bay City Rollers really.

elephantscantski · 18/04/2012 13:36

I don't know in terms of men and FTMs, interesting point. Maybe we could ask Fathers 4 Justice for their view?

Radical feminists don't believe that being female or male is based on a feeling. Male and female are based on 2 things.

  1. Sex - this is basically the body we are born with. I am born with a female body, so I have a female sex.
  1. Gender: These are the roles men and women are pressured by society into playing. So as a woman I am supposed to care more about the house, my blooks and shopping for example than men. I might reject that, but society still pressures us into particular roles and punishes us if we step outside of those. Look at the ridicule in the press female celebs get if they put on weight for example.

So based on this, how can someone born in a man's body claim to be a woman? How would he know what a woman feels like, especially when many women just say they feel like people and not particularly like a woman.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 18/04/2012 13:35

Oh, yes, sorry, I see. That is what I was trying to say, that black can eb an identity.
I'm sorry, I will bow out as this is going over my head. It is interesting, though.

Hullygully · 18/04/2012 13:32

Did you Kritiq? Would you say more about it? It is fascinating.

KRITIQ · 18/04/2012 13:31

Thistledew, I know you mentioned that you thought your story at 12:59:54 sounded incredible, but apart from the being in detention part, you HAVE described my experience to a T! I can't explain why I felt compelled to move to the UK from the age of 12 (having never been here before!) or why I am confident that I'd be dead or in psychiatric care had I not succeeded in moving here (and thankfully did so legally and am now naturalised.) Yep, few people can get their head around it so I'm used to that! :) I'd never thought of it having any parallels with the experience of trans people.

To be fair though, I would never claim that my experience of "stork dropped me in the wrong place" as being anything like that of a trans person. People may think me odd, but I'm not at risk of abuse or violence for what I've done.

MooncupGoddess · 18/04/2012 13:29

Really interesting thread, how nice to get beyond the rather, er, binary debate I've previously seen on these issues.

Can I ask: why is it radical feminists in particular who find the notion of MTF people being identified as women 'offensive'? Given that men are the privileged group in our society, I'd have thought that there would be many more objections to FTMs identifying as male and thus trespassing on 'cis male' privileged territory. Or maybe men do object, but I don't read the relevant websites?

elephantscantski · 18/04/2012 13:27

Black can be an identity. It isn't an ethnicity.

Hullygully · 18/04/2012 13:26

Say you went to a surgeona nd said make me black.

Nigerian black? Ethiopian black? Somalian? They are very different looking.

elephantscantski · 18/04/2012 13:26

Huge - Yes I know Trans people face huge stigma and violence and I agree it does seem to trigger a particularly vicious kind of reaction in some people.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 18/04/2012 13:23

You can't be black? Confused

Don't some people quite strongly identify as 'black' no matter what their nationality? I have a mate who'd she is black and British - they are both important things she 'is'.

OTheHugeManatee · 18/04/2012 13:22

Dowagers - I do and don't agree. It is true that people who look different can be targets for hostility. I don't know how the statistics compare for violence against disabled people and violence against transpeople. But I don't agree that it's the same.

While physical difference often triggers fear in the ignorant, the gendered nature of transsexual difference seems to trigger a particular kind of violence and hostility. If I had a limb missing and got naked in a public changing room, I might be running the risk of stares but I'd be unlikely to face intimidation or violence for my appearance. Transpeople do, on a daily basis. I know a fair few transpeople and every single one of them has had the crap kicked out of them at least once if not many times because of their gender presentation.

I know there are those who will skip over posts that point this out, on the basis that they must be written by 'trans activists'. I'm not a trans activist; I'm just a woman who happens to know quite a lot of transgendered people and has had cis- and trans lovers of both sexes.

(Incidentally, to whoever it was upthread who objected to having to call herself a 'ciswoman', that previous sentence is an example of one of the rare contexts where the 'cis' prefix is useful and relevant. Most of the time the trans/cis distinction is irrelevant, and thus the term isn't in common use and you needn't worry about being 'forced' to adopt it.)

elephantscantski · 18/04/2012 13:21

Yes I know about altered features which is why I mentioned surgery. There are actually thought to be physiologically I think 5 or 6 ethnic types. The rest are actuually countries not ethnicities.

Hullygully · 18/04/2012 13:19

You can't "be" black. You can be African, Afro-Carib etc etc and you can want darker skin and altered features.

elephantscantski · 18/04/2012 13:18

Just to say as well, the assumption by many here is that MtoF will have surgery. Actually most transgendered MtF do not have surgery on their penis.

elephantscantski · 18/04/2012 13:15

No oil it isn't a ridiculous example. We would be horrified if a white person said they felt they were really black and used make up to make themself look black and wanted surgery to later their facial features. i wouldn't actually call it racist, but I would think it is is very confused. And I don't think most peopel would accept that they are "really" black.

oilfilledlamp · 18/04/2012 13:12

Hump: good point. I have a very large abdominal scar that just looks gross and there's no way I would shower naked in public. It's just never going to happen.

OP posts:
oilfilledlamp · 18/04/2012 13:11

I remember a show, way back in the day, called the Black and White Minstrel show. Now, this may sound ridiculous, but what if a white person wanted to blacken up, because they have always identified as a black person. Would that not seem horrendously racist? Or is it breaking down racial barriers?

I'm not really happy that Asian people are having eye surgery to make them look more caucasian.

OP posts:
Hullygully · 18/04/2012 13:10

Thistle - wow. How fascinating.

DowagersHump · 18/04/2012 13:08

HugeManatee - that is the same for anyone who is physically different. If you had extremely bad scarring or some other kind of physical thing that marked you out as 'different' when you were naked, it's going to be a challenge to be naked in public. Some rude people might stare at you. Some people may look away. I don't think it's got a lot to do with being trans other than the fact that we are a binary gendered species in the main.

Thistledew · 18/04/2012 12:59

On the topic of nationality, I met a non-British national who states that from an early age, when he first learnt about Britain, he identified with our culture and identity. He stated that from that point on he felt compelled to do everything he could to be recognised as British and to have the right to live and work in the UK as a British person. He got permission to come to the UK on a temporary basis, but worked illegally after he failed to renew his permission to stay. He has now been in detention for 5 years as he refuses to sign the necessary documents to acquire an ID document so he can return to his country of origin. He feels so strongly that he should be in the UK that he is prepared to put up with indefinite detention rather than return to his (relatively prosperous) country of origin.

Most people I have talked to about this have dismissed him as being absurd and not acting rationally. But I think there are real parallels with a transgendered person. Why is gender identity treated as less concrete than nationality?

(I know this story may seem incredible - I can't link to anything as it would infringe the persons right to privacy, but it is absolutely true.)

OTheHugeManatee · 18/04/2012 12:59

Dowagers - if I think about those of my friends who are transmen, I'd say this is generally the case in theory but is quite frightening in practice for the individual in question.

I remember getting an excited email from a friend about how he'd used the men's showers in a London swimming pool and no-one had batted an eyelid at him! It brought home to me how, for transpeople, any situation where one is publicly naked with others could potentially be a frightening moment as at any time they could become the target of fear or hatred.

elephantscantski · 18/04/2012 12:57

When a bay is born we don't look at the baby and say - Oh he is British. or Italian or...etc.

When we look at a baby, except where it is intersex, we do know if the baby is a boy or a girl. It is not a subjective feeling. It is real.

OTheHugeManatee · 18/04/2012 12:54

LRD - ok, that's how you see national identity - fair enough. But there are people who make a very similar argument about naturalising immigrants to one that has been made here about transsexuals: that due to immigrants' different biology (ethnicity) and socialisation (a different culture) it is nonsense to say they could ever be British. It's often argued, further, that the feelings of 'real' British people are being trampled over and ignored in the process of legislating for naturalisation, and that this is oppressive.

It struck me as an interesting parallel; I'm not claiming it is identical in every way, and of course a reductio ad absurdam will reveal differences between the two cases.

Hullygully · 18/04/2012 12:48

I think I'll avoid changing rooms altogether from now on. They are a minefield.