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Original poster

Come and share stories about positive support you've had from other women :-)

138 replies

LRDtheFeministDragon · 14/04/2012 23:29

I wanted to start a thread about the sense of support and community I sometimes feel very strongly, both on MN and in RL. I thought maybe we could share some positive stories, and maybe get to thinking about what is so important about community and shared experience for women. I don't just mean women-only spaces, but all sorts of times when you've felt picked up and cared for by the support of other women.

The background to this post is a trip I got back from last week. I went abroad, and I've never been so far away or visited this country before, and not to put too fine a point on it, I was really nervous and stressed about the whole idea. But not one, but two feminists - women I'd never met before in real life - rallied round to help me find places to stay and work out how to best get on. And both of them met up with me during my stay, and we had a ball. And it just made me feel an amazing sense of community, that women from halfway across the world could all meet up, with very different beliefs (really! One is a devout Orthodox Christian and the other an atheist academic), and still be so kind and supportive.

I just thought it was amazing, and it made me very proud to be a feminist. So ... over to you. Smile

OP posts:
Portofino · 15/04/2012 00:24

LRD - I never heard that before, about "gossip". Interesting! Well, a year or so back I put up a fellow MNetter and her family in Belgium during the volcanic ash palavar. And last week we were in the UK and they came to visit us.

And we talked about how such a random thing had made us good friends when we would never normally have met each other in RL. And she listened and gave me a really good talking to about all the (work) stress in my life at the moment and gave me some REALLY good advice on how to improve things. And she was really understanding and lovely.

It was just SO nice. DH never really seems to get it, and when I see friends here I don't like to waste the evening talking about such stuff too much. Good karma!

Dworkin · 15/04/2012 00:22

I was off the belief that men gossiped more than women. They love a good natter. I help out at a carer's and toddlers group and also at a senior citizen's dinner group. All the helper's are women. I went to all my children's carer's and toddlers groups and loved who I met. Each and everyone of them.

TheSecondComing · 15/04/2012 00:14

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
LRDtheFeministDragon · 14/04/2012 23:58

I guess this thread might be a little way of countering some of the bad press - because so many things that are supportive of female networking, and woman-to-woman support get mocked, don't they? Like 'gossip' - I don't know if this is right, but I heard that the word originally comes from 'god-sibling' or 'good-sibling', as in, the friend you were brought up with most closely. And now it comes to mean, not a nice bond, but a trivial kind of talk.

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Original poster
LRDtheFeministDragon · 14/04/2012 23:50

I also just thought of a quotation that for me sums up some of the most positive stuff about women and community. It's by Elizabeth Blackwell, and she says 'What is done or learned by one class of women becomes, by virtue of their common womanhood, the property of all women' (I don't think she means 'class' in the class sense, just group, btw).

I love that because it is so diametrically opposed to the stereotypical view of how education or achievement work in the (male dominated) spheres.

OP posts:
ArtexMonkey · 14/04/2012 23:49

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babyheave1662 · 14/04/2012 23:47

Will post tomorrow Smile

TunipTheVegemal · 14/04/2012 23:42

The school gate mums at my village are lovely.
You read on here about all these awful competitive cliques and stuff but where my kids go to school the mums are not only supportive of each other, they also take delight in other people's children's achievements. I've lost count of the times other mums have said lovely things to me about things my kids have done.

I also want to put in a word for old ladies, since I met another nice one today. Not only do they often jump into action holding babies or entertaining toddlers on the bus, they also say unprovoked nice stuff about the kids. I get a sense of solidarity from them and a sense that they believe it takes a village to raise a child.

Original poster
LRDtheFeministDragon · 14/04/2012 23:39

You know, it is interesting you say that artex. I think it was SGM who told me that things like baby showers and so on, which have a similar bad press, actually can help with postnatal depression because they reflect the support of the community.

Maybe it's the same thing?

OP posts:
ArtexMonkey · 14/04/2012 23:35

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Dworkin · 14/04/2012 23:35

I've helped get a woman out of an abusive relationship. Packed her precious things and we had to go quickly before he came back. He did phone round her family and friends that night, they told him to eff off. He had her phone numbers which he poached, which made me feel really sad for some reason.

Original poster
LRDtheFeministDragon · 14/04/2012 23:32

I believe we have already established a fine sense of community lusting after appreciating the actors of Game of Thrones, oracle. Smile

OP posts:
OracleInaCoracle · 14/04/2012 23:31

. just marking place for tomorrow.

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