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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Casual sex is no more 'bad for women' than sex-with-commitment.

53 replies

solidgoldbrass · 12/04/2012 14:15

Actually, casual sex in many ways is better for women than committed sex. Just like a lot of other stuff surrounding sex and relationships, the recieved wisdom is not necessarily true and might actually be another tool of the patriarchy.
Because women who are encouraged to 'save' sex for relationships are women who are going to have to wash the bloke's shitty pants and cook his dinner and stroke his ego as well as having sex with him. And prioritising The Relationship often means having sex you don't really want, with a bloke who isn't very good at it, because you 'love' him and therefore it's all about keeping him happy.
Whereas if you have sex with a bloke you just met, or only see from time to time, you don't have to do his housework or listen to long rambles about how his day at work went, and if he isn't any fun you can just bin him and move on.

OP posts:
only4tonight · 12/04/2012 14:37

Casual sex IS bad for SOME people though. A blanket statement helps no one. Sex, as in most other areas of a persons life should be down to personal choice. I think the thing that should really be pushed is having more respect and less judgement over the choices made by individuals (as long as no one is getting hurt, misled or lied to). No a a blanket casual sex is great/bad, monogamy is great/bad.

solidgoldbrass · 12/04/2012 14:30

Only4Tonight: I entirely agree that people should do what suits them. I've just seen a rash of stuff lately insisting that casual sex is inherently bad for women and I do think that there is too much insistence that women should pursue commitment and that those who don't are either victims or have something wrong with them.

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only4tonight · 12/04/2012 14:26

Sgb. I respect your views and your choices to do as you wish. But your life is not for everyone, just as my life isn't for you.

I am monogamous and happy that way. Sex with my husband fills me with self worth and self confidence where once there was none. Casual sex would never have been good for me. Also dh does the washing in my house as we both work full time but I do slightly more hours at the mo and bring in more money.

Different strokes for different folks.