Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

SS why do they blame the mother?

32 replies

seaofyou · 06/04/2012 10:32

First time poster on this thread.

How does a mother who reports abuse that her dc discloses to SS (who don't do do anything) so mum reports herself to CPU (as advised by solicitor) and the mother end's up being told by CPU that she has persecutory delusions on the morning they about to do videod interview with dc! 5 minutes after speaking to the SW!!!
I am very angry at Social Services!

Any thoughts? Advice?

I am now refusing to report any more disclosures (month ago) for fear of being accused as having FII!

How did I become the suspect when all I did was report serious abuse to the correct authorities?

OP posts:
sunshineandbooks · 06/04/2012 11:16

X posts. Bloody hell, that sounds horrific!

sunshineandbooks · 06/04/2012 11:11

Correct me if I've got it wrong, but is the situation this:?

Your DS disclosed abuse from his father to you and his tutors. You reported this to SS. Nothing was done so you followed up by self-referring to the child protection unit. They then questioned DS and brought in the police who have decided to do nothing because you've made allegations about your DS's father in the past but no proof was found so they have concluded that you have a persecution complex?

If that's the case then you're going to have an uphill battle on your hands. I do feel for you because many women have been forced to let abuse go unpunished because of absence of proof. I suppose the only silver lining is that your X doesn't want to see your DS anymore so your DS is safe from any future abuse at least. Given that they interviewed your DS, have they not listened to what he had to say about it? Are they trying to say that you have coached him or something? In which case, that's a serious allegation by itself, but if they're not saying that, then surely the only other viewpoint is that your DS is telling the truth and they should be acting on that. How old is your DS BTW, as that might have a bearing.

I'm really sorry that you were attacked to such an extent that you felt it necessary to install CCTV. That's horrific.

Original poster
seaofyou · 06/04/2012 11:10

I think ds has PTSD as out 4 wkds ago and saw boys with their df and started up again. Ds disclosed to a dc in playground. If he told a teacher it would be taken serious maybe if they then report it to SS as they be then accused of FII!?
I met with SS Manager and gave copy of statements and let them hear the disclosure on mobile I said I was angry nothing was done and I had to go to CPU as basically not believed! Then accused by DI I was psychotic!

SS manager said if ds discloses again to contact her (I phoned 2 weeks ago and she has not called back) not to discuss with ds and they will interview ds. why bother CPU said CPS said it could never go to court as ds has ASD and it happened 3-4 yrs ago!
also I will be accused again, blamed and. Even risk of dc being taken off me:(

OP posts:
Original poster
seaofyou · 06/04/2012 11:03

Sunshine physical abuse...slapped ds 15 times in face, you may ask how does dc know. my ds has an excellent memory. he has AS and was non verbal when the abuse started and would come back head butting etc Paediatrician said 'des not used to change' so I excepted ds odd aggressive behaviour on return from visits with df (ds placid child so totally out of character ) but ds would go the home every week so wasn't a change as used to it (grandp house), the df used to visit ds 3 times a yr.
Ds would stay overnight so could spend whole wkd with df as didn't visit very often.
there was strangulation, giving foods ds is allergic too(gluten), throwing across room and squeezing private parts. Just general slapping a non verbal dc at 3-5 yrs of age too (but I know that doesn't count as abuse).
Ds could not tell me verbally but the head butting and destroying toys on return was suspicions that pros never listened too when I asked about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
seaofyou · 06/04/2012 10:55

Yes ds disclosed to me and his tutors. They recorded it in statements. After I realised that SW was not taking it serious the final disclosure last yr to tutor I made sure my mobile was their and ds disclosed and it was recorded on my mobile. sW did not want to listen to it/never visited ds to interview so then I contacted CPU and they interviewed ds at home and asked to attend family suite next day. We arrived and detective said 'I have been speaking to SW and their is a lot of grievances in past. So we are not taking it any further! Why do you have persecutory delusions about this man.

This man ds df. Attacked my home for 3 yrs df has no contact with ds (df sent solicitor letter saying didn't want to see ds anymore) the attacks have stopped since CCTV being fitted 12 months ago. However spotted a car weekend after the df was served with court order for maintanence. I have kept CCTV footage and need a CCTV specialist to get clearer footage of the person in the car?

ex would have no reason to be in area as lives abroad now and has no friends in my area!

sorry to much info and it is complicated.

OP posts:
sunshineandbooks · 06/04/2012 10:50

You are obviously hurt and angry and I feel for you and your DC.

I'm not really sure what's going on. I think to make it clearer you need to say what type of allegations were made and why the SWs feel you are delusional, but if you do that I'd really recommend that you ask for all your posts on this thread to be deleted once you've got the help or support you need from the discussion.

I'm really sorry you feel so low though and hope you feel better soon.

victorialucas · 06/04/2012 10:36

I'm confused. Can you clarify please? Did your DC tell you someone abused them? And then you reported this to SS? They are investigating but have accused you of being delusional? Is that the jist?