Something that's been bothering me

*It confuses, upsets etc us

I've encountered a lot of incredibly unprofessional, sexist, mean spirited and sexual harassing behaviour from men towards myself and other female people in all storts of "professional" settings. It's a problem: It's confes, upsets, distracts, and threatens which leads to a bad climate at work, uneasiness, lower self-confidence, worse work effort.
Most of the time me and the other women have just been stunned by their behaviour and didn't know how to react. Because we expected them to behave like normal people and to treat us with a minimum of respect. You expect others to be civil when you have to work together.
It's a problem, and something must be done about it. The question is what - it's the men who must change their idea that it's ok to pick on their female collegues for being female ie being entitled sexists, and what would make them stop?

you see,I am discussing feminism.and no I dint have to concur with all
but your summation omits the posts were others agree with me?was that a purposeful omission or just oversight

Men don't bitch Nyac, they put the world to rights or some other such nonsense

So i've been looking through this thread and-
scottishmummy, what do you want to gain from it? I see you only criticizing other users and being negative, how about discussing the feminist issues instead?

so you have missed the allegations of
stalking
interrogation

and we are only 726 posts in

they are strong words, I'm interested what's provoked such a strong reaction

I've only just arrived and can see a personal attack from where I'm sitting.

Anyway, I've met a lot of people who haven't been good at their job, but it was only a man who overlooked me for promotion for his golfing buddy, who arranged a 'team building' day the culminated at Tiger Tiger and made me out to be a bad sport for not joining in and that was before I even dared to get pregnant.

I've never spoken to anyone in any kind of voice other than my own. Where have I gone wrong?

you project a lot of persecution and distress nyac
your words are overly emotive given the context
stalking interrogation they are words that speak of feeling attacked
whybdo you feel attacked

no doubt you'll accuse him/her of stalking or interrogating you

So many examples, so much mental baggage. I'm beginning to understand.

The bitchiest (shouldn't use that word, but anyway) person I ever came across in an office was a man who used to tear people to pieces. And obviously enjoyed it.

He's an MP now. Last time I saw him he was being rude to Jon Snow on the Channel 4 lunchtime news. It was a bit of a relief to see he treated everybody the same.

Hopefully someone will be along in a minute to invent something a woman said in order to even up the balance here.

I was shocked by how many incidents I have just brushed under the carpet or forgotten (there are plenty of other anecdotes). When I really thought about it the men in the office behave so much worse than the women yet woe betide any woman who gets a bit arsey. A bit mind you. Not a full blown rant in an open plan office. No no that is reserved as man's work.

why do you feel so got at?you've got a v persecuted stance
why did you accuse another mn of stalking you,and demand she reveal her identity?

given this apparent stalking,you of course have body of evidence and have reported to mnhq?

indeed if you feel Sanjeev is harsh and interrogating report that too

I used to have a male colleague who would drop his pencil and try and look up my skirt. It was like something from Benny Hill. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't actually seen it.

I think you should spend more time with GarlicButter and ScottishMummy Sanjeev.

HTH.

I initially thought I worked in a pretty good office but only a few minutes of thought I recounted these lovely stories.

I have one boss who has made all the women in the office cry with his bullying.

I have another boss who announced to the rest of a female colleague's team the reason she had been off work. She had been beaten up by her boyfriend. He announced this with a comment along the lines of: I bet you won't do that again. Joke of course.

I have a male colleague who stroked a woman's bottom as she was carrying a heavy piece of equipment.

I have a team who think Dominic Strauss Kahn and Julian Assange are really top blokes and just being fitted up.

I have another male colleague who has assaulted another member of staff but is still in his job.

But yes those breathy women get me every time.

you're being most peculiar nyac

you demanded another poster reveal their identity accused her of stalking you across mn

now you assert you're being interrogated

ease up on the hyperbole,you're not being interrogated
a direct question asked, yes
sustained attack or interrogation, no

I am trying to be constructive here. There is no interrogation. My question was to all posters. What actions can we all take to try to end this kind of behaviour in the workplace? That is the point of this discussion, isn't it? An end to sexism in the workplace? There are plenty of examples posted? Are there things we can do? Is everything to be dealt with on a case-by-case basis, or is there something we can fix in the workplace?

Sorry Sanjeev, you don't get to become interrogator after your "dick-waving" comment.

Sure. Anyway, about my second point - what actions do we take over this kind of behaviour?

Was that supposed to be funny? I thought it was whining.

Okay, no more humour. No offence intended. Ignore my second point. What about my first? What do we do about this behaviour?

Can you take your digs somewhere else Sanjeev? They're irritating.

Given these instances of overt sexual harassment /assault at work, what does anyone suggest we do about it?

And Nyac, it is nice to know you have read my posts, even if you are selective about which ones you choose to acknowledge/respond to.

get it right,i said it's legitimate to acknowledge female and male can be sexist
rather than pointedly overlook or dimiss
so yes I do assert lets talk about female and male sexism