My Phone Sex Secrets

That's good to hear Solid.
However I get the impression that most women do not choose phone sex work because they like hearing about random men's fantasies or find it erotic, but because they need money. And I don't like this at all - why are the most "easy" money options for women sex work ie servicing men? And I hate how men as a group expect and have the option to be sexually serviced in any way they want by a woman as long as they pay (or not!)- via prostitution, marriage, stripclubs...

I like hearing about other people's sexual desires and fantasies. I find it interesting. Oh and before anyone starts with the waa, waa, if you enjoy it you shouldn't take money for it, I don't see why enjoyment of a job stops a person having to pay the bills. If someone loves, for instance, music and likes to play an instrument for his/her own pleasure, that doesn't make it wrong for such a person to earn money as a session musician or a music teacher as well.

Cardgames: Yes, you have to end the call if the caller wants to discuss illegal stuff like paedophilia, bestiality or assault.

I don't get why anyone would object to other people choosing to do this work. There is no risk to the call operator, no one is trafficked into doing it and while it isn't all that well paid, at least you can do it from the comfort of your own home at hours that suit you.

Like... "you're a misogynist pedo swine. Bye" hangs up

I don't get this. So any sort of gross man can call you and you have to pretend liking it and getting aroused by whatever crap he is saying? How can anyone bring themselves to do that instead of making fun of the guy or start swearing at him.
Can you "say no" to a man who is being too disturbing?

P.S. They deserve to be lonely SGB. But more likely there's a wife or girlfriend in the background who has no idea what they are up to.

You're still a real person with real ears having to hear the sexual abuse a real brain processing what's said and a real voice having to respond.

Promoting dissociation to deal with male sexual abuse of women is not a good thing.

Calls like this from a stranger if you're not being paid for it are illegal. Just because he's got a wallet doens't make what he's doing OK.

how does it make it ok if it's not your body the caller is wanking over?

to take your 'explaination' to the extreme, you are enabling him to objectify his 'perfect' woman even more then, surely?

one that will never exist, he knows this, you know this, but carry on taking his money while he 'searches his mind' for 'her'?

I notice someone's justified this shit by reference to the 'needs' of disabled men. Again.
I'm a disabled woman with a 12yr old dd. What about our needs? Mine - to not be desexualised by views ofdisability that range from 'triumph over tragedy' to 'benefit scrounger', hers to develop her sexuality free from the constraints of a commercial industry pandering to male ego.

Nyac: If you have had abusive calls from men wanking down the phone at you (ie when you had not undertaken to recieve such calls as your job) then it's understandable that you find the idea horrific. But the man who rings a phone sex line knows he is getting a willing participant on the other end of the line, and that's what he wants, not a furious, frightened and disgusted stranger.

But Nyac, the bloke's never seen, nor will ever see, your body. He's not talking about your body, because it's not YOUR body he's picturing. You're basically a voice over for whatever is going on in his head. I could think of many worse ways to earn money.

i'D DO IT. i DON'T THINK MY BOYFRIEND WOULD BE COMFORTABLE WITH ME DOING IT, WHICH IS WHY i SHAN'T, BUT CERTAINLY IT'S NO MORE DEGRADING THAT CLEANING UP HUMAN SHIT FOR £4.20 AN HOUR, WHICH IS WHATi WAS DOING IN 2004.

Yup, that's a fairly common type of call. But there's nothing wrong with that. If a man was ringing up random women and telling them what he would like to do to them, that would be abusive, but engaging in a fantasy chat with a consenting professional is totally harmless. By 'dirty' phone calls, do you mean calls made to random numbers in the hope that a woman will answer? Men who make that sort of call don't expect or want the random woman who answers the phone to play out their fantasy about having sex in a lift or whatever, the intention in that situation is to cause her distress, so it's a different thing altogether.
I also write erotic fiction and regard phone sex as pretty similar - telling a paying customer a story, playing a part.
Some callers want to hear about the operator's best sexual experiences, for instance - up to me whether I decide to tell them a story about something I actually did, or just something I might like to do. Some want advice. Some really just want someone to talk to, because they are lonely.

Also I have had dirty phone calls with men wanking on the other end of the line and they are disgusting. Who wants to listen to a stranger doing that. It's not like any other service job.

Tell us what the phone calls consist of then SGB.

You're not talking about sex are you as if it was an abstract conversation. Isn't the guy normally saying what he'd like to to do to your body, or what he's pretending to do to your body, and you play along with the fantasy.

I know the contents of dirty phone calls and I don't think these are much different. But I'm happy to be proved wrong.

Bear in mind that, as with any programme about 'real' people, those who appear will have been carefully selected by the programme makers to match the 'story' they already have in their heads. The footage will also have been carefully edited as well (yes, more voice of bitter experience here).

It's not a job that would suit everyone, of course, but it can be a bit of fun and a source of extra income. And it's totally safe, you are not 'yourself', you are being some fantasy persona you've created, it's more of a game than anything.

i didn't watch the whole programme, but i felt really sad for the woman who was shopping for fruit and veg and 'wholesome' food to eat to cleanse herself from the work she was doing

really saddened that she felt deep down it was wrong, but still felt it was her only option for work

Nyac i have actually done this work so I think in this case I have a better idea than you do about what the phone calls consist of. Talking about sex to someone who has agreed to engage in the conversation is not abusive.

It's basically paying women to accept abusive dirty phone calls from men.

It would be damaging to most women's psyches.

Did they show the men involved and the kind of things they say to women?

I have done a lot of phone sex work but haven't seen this TV programme.
I don't find phone sex work 'degrading' in the least. Most of my callers have been pleasant people, in many cases simply lonely. And yes, lonely for sex as well as company. It is more difficult for an older man to find a sexual partner than for a younger one -well its difficult for an older person to find a sexual partner, end of (and when I say older I mean over-60s, I'm 47 myself). Some of the callers I have had have been ill, disabled or housebound.

Of course, some of them have been rude dickheads, but every job that involves dealing with the public is going to lead to some exposure to rude dickheads. I am not arguing that phone sex work is a job that everyone should do; if you find the idea revolting you will be crap at it. But it is risk-free work, and something you can do at home while the DC are sleeping, and if the money isn't enormous it's better than a lot of the work-from-home con jobs.

as someone who works in the industry, the show was not realistic, the women would not have lasted other than to work for themselves (mummy breast WTF! going round tesco and having ur mates laughing behind- so not ok)

and the money quoted, two words, bull shit

all are on a site that is more for escorts/prostitutes, that the men then rate after it, like ebay

now that is degrading!

yy atthendoftheday - its sexworkers-lite innit?

hmmmmmmm i know someone who does this in rl and has tried to recruit me (never in a million million years)
i think the programme is far too light and jokey in tone - the makers obv made it this way for a reason
the reality i suspect is different for many - £10 a time to demean yourself - no thanks and

if you don't see it that way then you are demeaning the men who call which is a weird concept tbh - that must affect your view of the male sex?
they could have made a very different programme

I don't think it's as simple as that. I think that anything that contributes to the idea that sex workers are happy empowered women comfortably profitting from the situation is harmful to the majority of sex workers in abusive, dangerous and desperate situations.

I was watching it while pottering around. What was sad was how the women's attitudes seemed to be so jaded. The woman in her 20s had to choose between career and relationships and ultimately gave it up. The older woman had had relationships break down because partners couldn't cope with what she did and was quite lonely. And I felt sorry for the rookie student who probably didn't really know what she was letting herself in for.

The only one who seemed truly sorted was a rural Hampshire couple, mainly because she wasn't working the lines any more and just exploiting employing other women instead.