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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Is this rape?

27 replies

24joy · 05/03/2012 22:24

was thinking the other night (whilst a bit pissed) that when i lost my virginity (20 years ago) it was a bit crap. Was on a campsite with my parents and best friend and we were 16. I was pretty 'innocent' whilst my friend certainly wasn't iykwim! I ended up with her 'dates' mate. I playfully pushed him into the sea (it was late at night) and he got cross then said we should go for a shower. Anyway, to cut a long story short - he's on top of me trying to push it in whilst i pathetically say no repeatedly (but really pathetically, almost jokingly (but beleive me- i wasnt having fun)). Then he came, got up and we awkwardly said goodbye and he left me in the shower. Then i eventually found my friend and her mate and they said they'd seen the guy who had said "yeah i shagged her senseless then told her to fuck off".

Always felt crap about sex. Do you think this has anything to do with it. Was it rape or was it just a shit first time?

OP posts:
24joy · 05/03/2012 22:35

I never tried to make him stop though - i just felt a bit helpless but more from a 'i dont like this but here i am' kind of way. I never actually said "get off me" really assertively - i just sort of knew i wasnt 'in control'. Can you 'feel' raped even if you weren't legally - is there such a thing?

OP posts:
crystalglasses · 05/03/2012 22:27

It was rape, although it may not have fitted the legal definition 20 years ago.