not sure what to title this but it's to do with ejaculation

You're allowed to be whatever you like. It just makes you look a little silly when you start to act impolitely.

I don't have to show him anything. Or do it a set number of time. The closest feeling he could ascribe was "acceptance."

It doesn't have to be repeated. It is repeated because we both enjoy it.

Look I'm allowed to be contemptuous of men who do this to women. Sorry you don't like it, but that's just the way it is.

I didn't ask to talk about your private life. You brought it up here.

You are really misrepresenting him. During the course of this thread, I asked him why he liked it. He said "I guess it's a feeling of acceptance and it's a bit taboo."

"If you loved me you'd let me come on your face" has never entered into it.

Why do you have to have it on your face to show him you don't find it disgusting? Also how many times do you have to do it. I'd have thought once would be enough to demonstrate non-disgust, but apparently it has to be repeated.

But I don't want to be pregnant.

You're really getting a bit pissy about this. "all the better for him" "bullshit" "can't believe the claim is made with a straight face" - you really don't need to say those things. I can understand you're passionate about this and that's great. But you can have a debate and remain polite.

Just what I said. Men use the manipulative BS that a woman letting them ejaculate on their face shows they accept them. It's a piece of emotional manipulation - "if you loved me you'd let me come on your face". The semen on the face symbolise acceptance allegedly.

What I think it actually shows is that quite a lot of men like degrading women during sex.

It's not really about "truly accepting." I'm sure he'd feel equally accepted whichever way we did it. I think it's nice that he doesn't feel disgusted by my menstrual blood and that I don't feel disgusted by his semen. I don't find it degrading or ridiculous, it is what it is.

Where does semen go when you have sex with your partner (if you have/have had a male partner) and why is it not degrading?

There's not a stigma to sex that's bullshit. Maybe back in the 1850s there was, but not now. Can't believe that claim is still made with a straight face.

I'd have thought a woman allowing sperm into her vagina where it might actually get her pregnant was the most fundamental way to show you accept a man. But hey, if he can see it dripping off your face, all the better for him.

I don't know what you mean by "accepted through his semen."

Sorry didn't read properly. He does.

Seriously, since when was wanting to coat another person in your body fluids a way to acceptance. I know there's a stigma to menstrual blood, I've never felt in my relationships that I needed to smear my partner in my blood to ensure that he truly accepted me. I'd think that was a bit ridiculous and a bit degrading to him too.

How do you feel with cum dripping off your cheek as a matter of interest?

Does your partner say to you that he wants to jizz on your face because it makes him feel accepted through his semen, YRC? If not, what I said doesn't apply to your situation. If he does, did you really fall for that?

Nyac, why do you say it is manipulation? I don't feel manipulated at all by my partner - yes, some women probably do, but to make a sweeping statement like that is pretty damning. He has never once made me feel that I HAVE to do anything in bed and I'd imagine most healthy relationships are the same.

Honestly, when you're giving a blow job, where is the natural place for the semen to go? Is there a more feminist place? On the breasts? In the mouth? On the body? Nowhere near the woman? Is there anywhere where, in a personal situation (rather than porn) it wouldn't be patriarchal?

When my partner said it made him feel accepted, it was part of a wider discussion. It certainly wasn't a case of him saying "oh when you let me do that, I feel accepted and when you don't, I feel awful." And I HAVE been in relationships where people tried to put pressure on me to do stuff, so I am not completely naive about it.

There is a huge stigma attached to bodily fluids and sex. When someone is not repulsed by yours that is massively validating.

Plenty of men are FINE with getting period blood on them. Whether on their face, on their penis, on the sheets - I've found the majority of men are not bothered.

I feel the same as victor - I'm NOT commenting on women's personal lives. I'm commenting on the symbolism.

The flaw in the plan.

Start with the guys in advertising who think it's blue.

Semen has never had the stigma of menstrual blood.

If we're talking acceptance of the other, men should be going around with bloodied faces once a month. It wouldn't be degrading as what people get up to in their own bedrooms is impossible to analyse.

Oh and the bit about men claiming that facial shows that a woman "accepts" them and their semen, is a massive piece of manipulation. Along with the claim that if you swallow sperm it's good for your skin.

Never understood why so many women fell for that one, and christ knows why women think that the guy who is busy spraying his semen on her face cares about her or her wellbeing. He's using her as a porn fetish.

You have to ask yourself why men want to cum on a woman's face and see their ejaculate there. The answer isn't a good one, however much people go on about "women choose it".

Also I think if you google porn facials you'll probably get a good idea of the misogyny of the practice.

Arguing against the idea that ejaculating on a woman's face isn't about degrading women, is a bit like arguing that nailing a cross to a black person's garden in the US deep south has got nothing to do with racism.

In the bright morning of a new day, I'd like to point out that no, my post of last night does not mean that I am criticising anyone for being the recipient.

Trying to make an analysis of broad sexual practices line up with what goes on in individual bedrooms seems to me like trying to square a particularly pointless circle.

The recipient might well be on their knees, recieving the sacred offering of a powerful individual. Now, where do I know that pose from?

Ah, I'm glad you said it VictorGollanz.

It does seem fairly, em, obvious really.

While I'm sure there's probably some lesbian porn out there featuring honest-to-goodness lesbians, there's the small matter that most 'lesbian' pornography is made for men to watch. And I don't see anything to be celebrated about gay men (who also suffer in a patriarchy) adopting the position of women.

As far as this thread goes, the popular representation of men coming on women's faces (as in, outside of our bedrooms) that have been cited are the Marquis de Sade and contemporary pornography. This does not strike me as particularly weighty evidence that it is not a misogynistic practice.

Patriarchies like penises (that is, after all, the point of them). The pornographic depiction of coming on a woman's face allows the viewer to witness a close-up of an ejaculating cock, with the recipient in a submissive position.

The recipient might well be on their knees, recieving the sacred offering of a powerful individual. Now, where do I know that pose from?

It's hardly a gigantic leap of faith to presume that this act, depicted over and over again in pornography, reinforces male power over women.

AyeRobot Thu 16-Feb-12 19:27:01

Just like the "Is PIV powerful?" thread, this one is almost all about the women. In some cases of feminist analysis, the what about the men question is valid. Do men think that j izzing on the face is degrading?

And after frequenting various male dominated forums and partaking in a fair amount of eavesdropping, I think lots of them do. Or at least, they give that impression in their "banter". And that's not just words, no matter how jokey it is. I don't even mean that they truly feel it, necessarily, but the casual acceptance of that attitude is a is problem.

Well, yes I do think it is degrading. I have read this thread and have to say in all honesty I have had one partner whose face I have come over on purpose; this was because she asked me to. I did feel, and still do feel, uneasy. This was from 1999-2004, and we never watched porn together. She also introduced me to anal, but she had lived in Greece for 5 years.

Having said that, my biggest turn on is when a woman ejaculates on my face. I was discusssing this with a couple of my lesbian friends a bit back, and apparently it's the same for them.

Amongst my male friends, none of them have experienced female ejaculation, and only one likes to come on his partners face.