not sure what to title this but it's to do with ejaculation

Yellow - what did you mean then when you said 'it's just...' Do you mean something different to what everyone else means?

Likewise how can I impact on what you like to do in your sex life by analysing certain practises? ignore me, and carry on, if you feel aht I say is not relevant to you. It's probably relevant to someone.

Silencing, judging - it's all a matter of opinion

Well, I guess, that question can only be answered by the women who do enjoy it. Maybe it's to do with being turned on by turning your partner on/seeing the effect you have on your partner?

But it's not expected of women to wear heels. The majority of women I see at work and on the streets are wearing flats.

How is jizz on a face affecting women as a group? Is it affecting women as a group?

People feel personally attacked in the same way you did when I said you were clutching your pearls. Because people use words like "degrading" and "disgusting", which makes me feel more degraded than the act itself does.

How is it a turn on? How is watching someone get undressed a turn on? How is having your thigh stroked a turn on? Why do some people find sitting on a balloon a turn on? It just is for some people.

No, it doesn't sound like "there's nothing to discuss". That's how you read it. If you feel I'm trying to silence you...I mean, sorry, but it is an internet forum, how exactly am I supposed to silence you?

Why not just say what's on your mind, instead of being convinced that you're being silenced? You're really really not.

Well WHY do women enjoy it then?

It's not like having your clit tickeled, is it. So how is it a turn on?

yellowraincoat I haven't called you a misogynist anywhere. Stop clutching your pearls ;) It's not all about you.

I see this again and again and again. It's a real problem when feminists try to discuss a patriarchal standard that is effecting women as a group negatively. Like how it's expected of women to wear hobbling heels when we dress up, in some work places, etc.
Then individuals get real angry and take is that we are personally attacking their love of pretty shoe, which wasn't the intention.

I don't really understand this behaviour.

jericho - you know what people have done and simply not talked about? How do you know when they have not talked about it?

Yeah ass to mouth is such a lovely, empowering thing to do.

There was a woman on here that tried it and she was unwell for 6 months. That's the reality of these sex acts.

I wonder if it was a man or a woman who thought up that scenario and the one described in the op. It most certainly has it roots in pornography. I can only see that acts like this serve the question of the most revolting degrading things to do to a woman's body, (making sure she smiles and looks like she is enjoying it)Not as some kind of joy of sex manual type education for lovers in a relationship.

but yellow you said it's 'just a bit of jiz on the face'. (my italics)
That sounds very like 'there's nothing to discuss'.

Other people think differently - why not have an exchange of ideas about that, or anything really.

widow - I'm pretty sure we know given it's within living memory for quite a lot of people, isn't it?

It's a generational thing as I understand it.

OP, has my husband been slowly socialised to submit to me sitting on his face?

Good point, WidowWoman.

Thats an easy way out of this debate, though, isnt it, sonic? To close ranks with all the 'proper feminists' and shut out the opinions of other women who maybe, just maybe, have valid points to make?

There are so many areas where feminist analysis is desperately needed.
I'd like equal pay. I'd like not to feel under pressure to botox my face into oblivion. I'd like my daughter to have real choice about how she manages her career and her relationships and parenthood. I would desperately like for the girls I work with not to be used for sex by gangs of underage boys.

Analyse that.

I am a product of the Patriarchy in many ways, but don't tell me I am not allowed to enjoy sex unless it passes your 'acceptability to feminism 'test.

"what I wondered was is this kind of thing appeal to men because they find it a turn on to be disrespectful? "

What I wonder is why do you only ask the question why it appeals to men, but are not concerned why women might be into the same thing? So where is the question "why does it appeal to women?"

How does anyone come to think anything's normal? What does that even mean?

To me, it's not disrespectful. I enjoy it and encourage it and therefore it's not disrespectful. If a man just assumed he could do it, or coerced me, that would be disrespectful, but it would be the assumption or coercion that would be disrespectful, not the act itself.

Who has told you that sonicrainboom? Point to me EXACTLY where someone has said you should shut up? Or are you just flouncing because people disagree with you.

I'd say all of us on here are feminists - just because you take the harder line stance doesn't give you the right to claim the feminist title and suggest we're all misogynists.

We should never think critically about anything related to sex ever because someone might like it and get personally offended.
In fact, we should never make feminist analysis about anything because someone might like it and get personally offended. Yep Jericho and company we better shut up!

WTF is 'mainstream sex'????

It doesnt exist. We don't know what people do behind closed doors - or didbefore the explosion of porn on the internet, where everything and anything is now viewable.

There were homosexuals in the bloody dark ages. Men were bumming each other, women were going down on each other. Sorry to be crude, but what is this mainstream sex you speak of ????

I don't know anything about porn, Jericho. I didn't think we were talking about that.

Does it matter if it wasn't part of people's sex lives until porn? In some ways, I think it's good that people's sexual repertoire is expanding. For me, it's better than lying back and thinking of England. I understand that some people feel pressure and that that's not ok. But as I said, maybe we need to focus our attention on instilling confidence in women to be able to make the right choice for them.

Jericho do we really know what really wasn't part of mainstream sex, and what was simply not talked about?

Yeah, I don't doubt that porn popularises some things/gives people ideas, but I think there's also the thing that it's nowadays much easier to openly talk about sex.

I find lifting of taboo rather positive

I agree MyNameIsNotSusan. That what I was getting at with clutching at pearls (though I'm sorry if I offended anyone by it.)

Men and women expel fluids during sex. There is nothing disgusting about that.

There's nothing wrong with being prudish. If you don't like sex, or you only like vanilla sex, that's fine. But I don't know why people get so judgemental about people who DO like sex. It doesn't mean they are being degraded or coerced.

Myname - sorry, I don't follow how that relates to what I said.

yellow - no, it's not dodgy because people are coerced into it. I find it suspect because it wasn't a part of mainstream sex for most people, until it was part of porn.

The act became popular in porn because porn needs a money shot. No-one seems to want to talk to the fact that women working in the porn industry are getting ill because of things like arse to mouth and ejaculations in their faces - why not? Do we just ignore it?