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Original poster

not sure what to title this but it's to do with ejaculation

490 replies

YuleingFanjo · 15/02/2012 10:59

and in particular a man ejaculating on a woman's face. Sorry - I feel awful writing it down.

I was talking to a friend last night, she is much nore sexually adventurous than I am and she was saying that she thought it was part of normal sexual behaviour, that most men found it a turn on and most people she knew thought it was normal.

I argued that it was something that came from porn, was not what I would call normal and there was no equivilant sexual 'thing' for a woman to do to a man. She said that women can 'gush' (I have never done this, maybe I am abnormal) or piss or poo (!) which I pointed out was a totally different thing. But is it?

I was trying to discuss it with her and point out that her sexual encounters are out of the norm, definitely aren't encounters within a loving relationship, and that ejaculating in someones's face is surely more about disrespect than anything else?

or am I wrong. I just find it really horrible and if anyone asked me to let them do so I would show them the door.

Soory - I hope I don't sound like some hairy trucker trying to get off on the whole thing, and I am not asking for personal experiences (I would prefer not to read them thanks) but more to discuss if I am right about the power/porn/disrespect thing...

OP posts:
yellowraincoat · 16/02/2012 17:16

Sorry, I'm totally confused. What is this thread about then? At what point did you say it was about coercion?

SinicalSanta · 16/02/2012 17:16

Seeing the other person turned on is a turn on for me (paraphrase)
I think that's an interesting dynamic, not necessarily gendered.
How does that work, I wonder?

sonicrainboom · 16/02/2012 17:15

OP,
here is an interesting article about how porn can shape men's (and women's of course!) sexuality. Very well worth the read.

www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201201/wiring-sexual-tastes-hairless-genitalsoops

yellowraincoat · 16/02/2012 17:15

You do sound really judgemental though, Fanjo. Even if people have what some on this thread seem to want to see as "abnormal" sex for dodgy-seeming reasons, it is still their choice, unless they've been coerced.

I really think the only way that we can solve this is to make both men and women more confident in their sexual choices: that everyone knows that they don't have to do anything they don't want and that they shouldn't try to coerce anyone.

69postssofar · 16/02/2012 17:14

Anything coerced is degrading (that's not to say that anything consensual isn't), but really - there's a world of difference between degradation e.g. someone shitting on you for sexual pleasure and someone shooting in your face a substance which I'm sure the vast majority of women would swallow without too much of an issue, or am I alone there too?!

WidowWadman · 16/02/2012 17:13

"I don't always believe that anyone should be doing things that don't turn them on just because they will turn their partner on... do you see what I mean"

Of course - if it doesn't turn you on, don't do it! But if it turns you on, for whatever mechanism, go for it.

And the mechanism that one gets turned on by feeling that one is a turn on for somebody else, is totally normal in my book.

Original poster
YuleingFanjo · 16/02/2012 17:13

"I'm talking about consensual ejaculation on faces, which is what this thread is about"

no - it's not what this thread is about Smile

that's what you want it to be about, but maybe something has been lost in the wording of my post?

OP posts:
yellowraincoat · 16/02/2012 17:12

I don't think anyone here is arguing that you should do things that don't turn you on just cos they turn your partner on.

It turns me on when my partner comes on my face. That's why I do it.

Laquitar · 16/02/2012 17:12

I'm sure people tried everything before porn and before they even had electricity.

Romans? Ancient Greeks? Othomans?

Original poster
YuleingFanjo · 16/02/2012 17:11

"she can fuck as many people as she likes, im not sure there is any judgement needed for this point"

yes. I am not sure that I have said anywhere in this thread that she can't... have I?

"you dont need to be in love to fuck" really Shock? - I do know that.

I agree with the rest of what you have said. There is much more I know about her which I could post but I am trying to show that I don't want to make judgements about why she is the way she is, it's not for this thread. I wanted to ask about the 'norms' thing really.

I think her judgement is off for many reasons but don't think it is fair to discuss that here.

I will continue to be a friend to her, I love her dearly.

OP posts:
WidowWadman · 16/02/2012 17:10

Yueling

"sorry - my phrasing/question must be off. I am indeed aslo asking why do women find it a turn on and what might have led them to discover that/believe that and so on."

Ok then - the way you asked originally to me read that it can only be men who like it. Which in turn seems judgy.

yellowraincoat · 16/02/2012 17:10

I'm not talking about coercion. I'm talking about consensual ejaculation on faces, which is what this thread is about.

Original poster
YuleingFanjo · 16/02/2012 17:07

"Would you guys see it as equally degrading if a woman ejaculated on a man's face?" if it was something the man was coerced into doing then yes it would be degrading.

OP posts:
SinicalSanta · 16/02/2012 17:07

an abstract conversation about trends and what underlies them really isn't about individuals, nobody should feel judged/silenced/defensive/whatever

69postssofar · 16/02/2012 17:07

Fanjo, I think generally 'sitting on his face' is meant to be oral sex for you, not just finding a strange parking place for your behind!

Tortington · 16/02/2012 17:06

i would think it degrading if a woman ejaculated on my face.

Original poster
YuleingFanjo · 16/02/2012 17:06

"Well, I guess, that question can only be answered by the women who do enjoy it. Maybe it's to do with being turned on by turning your partner on/seeing the effect you have on your partner?"

see.. we cross posted.

I don't always believe that anyone should be doing things that don't turn them on just because they will turn their partner on... do you see what I mean?

OP posts:
Tortington · 16/02/2012 17:06

couple of things op - i think you are confusing love and sex and love and sexual behaviour. they are not the same thing. she can fuck as many people as she likes, im not sure there is any judgement needed for this point. you dont need to be in love to fuck.

secondly - ejaculation onto someone elses face imo is disrespectful and promoted by the porn industry as 'normal' sexual behaviour.

If you think that your friend fucking lots of people and allowing herslef to be IYO disrespected = lack of self esteme and general head fucked upness for her, then i think you need to stick with it and continue to be a good friend.

amen

yellowraincoat · 16/02/2012 17:05

Yes, I did. I don't see your point.

Original poster
YuleingFanjo · 16/02/2012 17:05

"Why do some people find sitting on a balloon a turn on? It just is for some people.
"

ok, so now you have given me something to work on...

it wouldn't be a turn on for most people though, right? It's a niche market? So what I was trying to ask at the begining and in subsequent posts was ... my friend really believes that a man ejaculating on a woman's face is a normal every day thing which most people think is normal.

My reasoning was that it isn't and she may only think that because it's something she does with a particular kind of man in a particular kind of circumstance. My discussion with her was that it might only be normal to her because that is what she is used to but perhaps she is wrong to say that it is 'normal' sexual behaviour for most people.

OP posts:
SinicalSanta · 16/02/2012 17:05

you felt judged and degraded apparently yellow

69postssofar · 16/02/2012 17:05

The turn-on is in seeing your DH (or whichever random bloke it may be ;-) ) being turned on, in the same way that he may not find endless hours of wrist-aching fiddling with my bits such a turn on in itself, but it is my reaction to it which he enjoys.

yellowraincoat · 16/02/2012 17:04

A lot of women ejaculate. Would you guys see it as equally degrading if a woman ejaculated on a man's face?

yellowraincoat · 16/02/2012 17:03

I didn't say that you were trying to stop me doing anything, did I though SinicalSanta? Unlike others on this thread who have vocally expressed that they are being silenced.

Original poster
YuleingFanjo · 16/02/2012 17:02

I do wonder, what's in it for me if I sit on my husban's face. If that is all I am doing I mean. Just sitting on his face wouldn't be enough of an act to turn me on - unless I am supposed to be turned on because he is turned on?

just musing.

For me personally I can't think of a time when it would ever occur to me 'ooo, now sitting on my DH's face, that would really turn me on' but each to their own.

OP posts: