not sure what to title this but it's to do with ejaculation

Hello?

Wotaboutthemenz?

Porn dominates the messages we get about sex. That is a huge problem, as porn is run for profit, for men, and exploits women. I get that.

But I happen to think that by being able to enjoy sex on my own terms means that I am subverting the ridiculous stereotypes and cliches of porn. I bloogy hate porn. It bores the arse off me, and the really hardcore, weird stuff makes me want to vom.

If it's in either of those, would it be more acceptable?

How can you possibly talk about standing against what you're socialised to do? We're all completely socialised in every single way - otherwise we'd all just walk around with bags on our head or howl at the moon every night. Everything we do is socialised in some way.

If you find one act degrading, don't do it. If people are finding that they don't have the confidence to say no, then parents and teachers are really failing and something needs to be done.

In porn, ejaculating on a woman's face might be portrayed as demeaning, I can't say if that's 100% true all the time, but maybe it is. That doesn't mean that it has to be so in real life. Things in porn are as fake as they are in Hollywood films, and I think the vast vast majority of both men and women realise that. Certainly I've never come across (boom boom) anyone who actually thought they had the God-given right to jizz on me.

And I do wish people would take the 'moralistic' out of it.

It isn't about morals. It is about women being on the submissive end of male domination again and having that fetishized within our sexuality.

Which is very reinforcing.

Proceed with caution sisters, say I.

I know lots of women who would masturbate in/on their partner's face. Not sure about ejaculation.

Are you buying the lies porn sells you? That only men fully embrace adventurous sex?

It seems to you a different dynamic, Malificence and yet it's not. Not in my relationship.

But Fanjo, what are you talking about? About porn or about real relationships? Because to me, this thread seems to be getting a bit confused about which one we're talking about.

Well I think we are right back to socialization.

In porn, ejaculating on a woman's face is presented as being degrading/humiliating/macho/dominating/penis worshipping/indifferent to female sexuality/all about the menz/whatevah you want to call it.

This act has its roots in porn. And porn is misogynistic.

I make of that what I do. And what I make of it, is that it is an intrinsically misogynistic act, (to the point that can't quite believe I'm having to spell it out to grown women).

It would appear that this act is being normalized (primarily through the vehicle of internet porn). Ergo we are being socialized through the widespread tolerance, condoning and acceptance of porn (which, let's remember, is filmed prostitution).

Well I think that is depressing and concerning. I don't want the porn hounds dictating what is pleasurable to me or my fast growing children. God forbid the thought.

I find such a thing to be massively repressive and controlling.

Which is sort of ironic for someone being accused of being a 'pearl clutcher'.

Being liberated is not embracing what you are being socialized to do. It is having the freedom to explore what you really want to do.

If for some that is having ejaculate on their face, I won't stand in their way.

I really doubt that there are very many women who stand masturbating over their partner in order to ejaculate on them ( unless it's a domination type thing) , it seems (to me) to be a completely different dynamic.
My DH wouldn't feel degraded by my ejaculating on his face either AK and I wouldn't feel like I was degrading him by doing so.

He wouldn't feel comfortable standing above me, wanking at my face though, which is the "standard" view of a man ejaculating on a woman , it's a different thing entirely, to him happening to ejaculate and it landing on my face ( or anywhere else) in the course of general sexual activity.

I think some people on this thread are very sheltered.

Totally disagree Malificence. Why wouldn't the woman be controlling her own ejaculation? I definitely do.

malifence - "the woman probably isn't masturbating over the man's face in the same way a man would be doing."

How on earth do you know? Is there a study on female on male face squirters and which techniques are used to stimulate ejaculation?

It's a huge assumption to make.

I too can control my ejaculation. We both enjoy it when it's on his face. He doesn't feel degraded by it.

What I meant by "not in control" was that the man is providing the stimulation for the woman to ejaculate, ( ejaculation for me personally, does not equal orgasm, it's a completely different experience) the woman probably isn't masturbating over the man's face in the same way a man would be doing.

I don't know any women who aren't comfortable receiving oral sex from their partner I would think any woman saying that had serious issues tbh.

"I don't think you can really compare female ejaculation tbh, I doubt that many women specifically plan to ejaculate over a man's face, (unless he requests it) women aren't in control over it,"

I can control my orgasms as any man could, i know my body enough to know what works for me. Most women are not comfy with having a face near to their vagina's because they have been conditioned to think they they are not clean or that is not a normal part of sex.

I don't think any consented sexual act should be regarded as "not normal".

I think that the popularity of some acts has happened because of porn, so i can understand discussing those acts from a political POV but on a personal level whether or not the act is disrespectful can only be decided by those taking part.

Coming on your partners face (whether male or female) is "bad" and some people like to think of their sexual acts as being "bad" and pushing boundaries.

Just like the "Is PIV powerful?" thread, this one is almost all about the women. In some cases of feminist analysis, the what about the men question is valid. Do men think that j izzing on the face is degrading?

And after frequenting various male dominated forums and partaking in a fair amount of eavesdropping, I think lots of them do. Or at least, they give that impression in their "banter". And that's not just words, no matter how jokey it is. I don't even mean that they truly feel it, necessarily, but the casual acceptance of that attitude is a is problem.

Pengwin - Due to the fact that very many men speak of leaving women looking like "a plasterers radio" on male dominated fora, I don't think there's any doubt that they view it as degrading.

To be fair, I think Vivian has an aversion to bodily fluids by what she says, I don't think she has issues about semen particularly - people can't always help what creeps them out, my DD has a massive aversion to velvet for example.

There are lots of women who won't have semen in their mouth, I understand that's fairly common, strange as I find their revulsion , I can understand if they don't like the taste or texture.
I don't think you can really compare female ejaculation tbh, I doubt that many women specifically plan to ejaculate over a man's face, (unless he requests it) women aren't in control over it, it tends to just happen whereas a man is generally in control and planning to do it IYSWIM. Unless the man is being dominated in some way, he's actually controlling things , as he is when he's coming on a woman's face, the woman is the receiver in both scenarios - that's the difference for me.

To the OP, I am with you on this one. This is not a sexual practice which was ever even discussed among my friends and I in my sexual heyday and I was not a nun. So it seems to me that if it is now arising regularly in 'general sex', for want of a better phrase, as your friend believes, then it seems to me that the activity's apparently prevalent depiction in internet porn is a very likely reason.

There are two question entangled here though: is this 'normal'? And is this degrading? With regard to normal, I think that what men increasingly see in porn becomes 'normalised' to them, and they will gain confidence in asking more and more women 'in real life' to do these things. And young women exposed to these requests will think that this is 'normal'. Which of course it will be if they all start doing it. And then they will all as a group feel increasing pressure to let men do this to them, whether they really like it or not, or whether they feel uneasy about it.

This is a different question, of course to, 'is it degrading'? I believe (but can't prove) that this image of a man coming on a woman's face is so popular in porn because MEN consider it a degrading thing to do to a woman, and a considerable number of them are turned on by that. This is not about physical matters such as 'the semen has to go somewhere, why does it matter where?', it is very symbolic. I think coming on a woman's face, specifically, is a symbolic act of degradation. Since I can't prove it, however, I can only suggest, OP, that you go and find a men's forum which discusses such things and see what MEN say about these images. I suspect there lies the answer.