Stars - no problem with pointing out oppression and trying to overturn it, but I think where it's going too far is, when there is oppression is detected also in places where there is none.
To take the PIV example - I don't doubt for a second that there's plenty of girls and women who actually don't enjoy it much, and more or less only do it because it's expected of them/they feel pressurised into it. That's a form of oppression and very very wrong indeed, and it'd be bonkers to argue otherwise. And of course people should be empowered to only consent to things they actively enjoy. I find it very important that people are taught that PIV is not the be all and end all, that it's ok to set boundaries, that there's plenty of fun to be had without it, and that if they want to do it, how to do it safely.
However arguing following on from this, that PIV is inherently problematic, even if it is between consenting partners who both enjoy it equally, is taking it too far.
As with the het relationships - nobody chooses to be hetero, gay, bi, or whatever. So to argue that a sexual preference is inherently problematic doesn't make sense to me. I don't know what you mean about "under current norms" - if there's a relationship where one partner is calling the shots and the other is in a subservient role, I don't think that's a healthy thing. And I get very annoyed by people insisting on the classical role model as the only way.
Discuss where any relationships go wrong/are unhealthy. But I wouldn't even go so far to assume that oppression/DV only apply to relationships where there are men involved.
Bras - I've no idea why men with moobs don't wear bras, but obese people are often subject to ridicule, no matter whether they're male or female. So to suggest that braless men with moobs are accepted in society where a braless woman isn't , I'm not quite sure that follows. There are dresscodes in society - and I don't find the bra any more oppressive in that context than, e.g. a man being expected to wear a tie when dressing smart. Bras have multiple purposes - I personally find it painful when I'm not wearing one, and I like wearing pretty ones, because it makes me feel attractive - and there's nothing wrong with wanting to feel attractive. If you find a bra uncomfortable, then it probably doesn't fit properly.
Shoes - my argument is similar to bras there really. Yeah, "killer heels" and painful feet, I kind of see your point. Wearing heels in general, less so. (Especially because flats give me painful feet and legs)
I've read it several times here that people state that once they started looking for it they started seeing sexism/misogyny/oppression everywhere. And I don't doubt that - however, that doesn't neccessarily mean that it really is everywhere, but sometimes simply it is confirmation bias. I fall into that trap myself often enough.
There's plenty of sexism and misogyny around which needs to be addressed and challenged. I don't think it helps to go looking out for more - and, I think that, as I said before, there's a risk of losing those who happily challenge sexism and misogyny where it occurs, when coming up with those theories.