non working mothers

women dont need to stick together as gasp we are capeable of independent thought and even dissent. I dont need to high five and cheer anyone solely in basis of gender

Is it ok for males to stick together? Solely on basis of gender?

Yes, ok, oooh, one poster posited that women might stick together; another posits that they shouldn't or don't.

It's hardly earth-shattering.

Really?thought you said us women stick together?
Lol,if ever proof needed of women not sticking together...just peruse mn

i should have guessed the thread was heading in this direction.

benifits blah blah blah im sick of this subject.

This is like Social Economics 101.

FFS.

paid and celebrated LOL bang that tambourine sista
Yes in a recession let's pay an economically inactive adult,for doing own thang,with own kids. Whilst others do tin in on minimum wage,to pay housewife at home

You couldn't make it up

everything mary said
hello

Add message | Report | Message poster lorcana Sun 05-Feb-12 00:23:56
why is this such a contentious issue ? why can't we ask such questions- without getting abused and provoking such anger ?

I don't know, why? Is it everyone's time of the month perhaps? It's like the time I asked why do some brown people smell all horrible like stale curry and talk funny but others have nice fuzzy hair and natural rhythm and everyone said I was like some sort of racialist or something. They're so touchy round here. Never mind op, have another

Tosh,asking questions is good.can't stifle that
If we get to the point of cant say/ask that then something very bad has happened

Ask any question, and do expect riposte
It's the not asking thats the problem

why do you presume im talking about me?
life isnt rosie for everyone, certain people cant see past their own nose.

i do not feel the need to explain myself

lorcana someone has to clean the house, teach the children, drop off and pick up kids at a predertimined time, feed all members of that household, buy food, clothes, educational materials, teach cooking, mending, DIY. Budget for everyday spending, holidays, replacing existing appliances, rainy day allowances and leave a bit over for savings and the luxuries. While buying groceries, cooking and cleaning for those too old or infirm to do it themselves.

Jesus, most people couldn't afford 2 of these professionals on one salary. SAHMs are seriously undervalued.

Why do you think that they are traitors, instead of thinking that they are an amazing undervalued resource who should be paid and celebrated?

I don't think that working = betraying my children. That's a ridiculous equation. Why/who on earth would make you feel that? Bonkers, frankly.

By working I provide my children with a home, a first-class education, and a role model of economic activity and industry. In time, my work will help them fund their cars and their flats. Just as importantly, I stay sane.

Guilt or otherwise....

To betray one's sex suggests that one's sex is a single defining thing.

That there is only one way of doing things.

And I would say that if feminism should defend anything, it should be the right to diversity. It is the right to do things in the way which suits you, regardless of societal pressure.

So devaluing those who stay at home to bring up children is about as constructive as those who denigrate women who work.

Bottom line for me is that women can't win because questions like this are still being asked.

The op has also posted about maternity leave too today? She does seem keen on anyone who's not back at the desk after passing the placenta

Why do you presume maternal guilt or daily struggle?
What does that say about you?your expectations of women

so you work and your betraying your children you stay at home and your betraying your sex ?

hmmmmm here we go.......
(plumps cushions-puts feet up)

'the thing that links mums is constant guilt.'

I feel no guilt whatsoever about my working/not working decisions. None. Colour me smug, if you will.

also ignorant

ooooooo i see a snowman

I don't have daily struggle or constant guilt
Why would I?

Guilt free here too

Surely guilt comes with allowing yourself to be judged?

Speak for yourself.I'm guilt free

Lorcana - there are important issues to talk about on parenthood and work, but I I don't think "is x betraying their sex" a good place to start.

Are men who don't manage to arrange their working and home life so that they see their kids betraying their sex?

No....

Is it a problem that parenthood pushes men and women into rigid breadwinner/homemaker roles that are gender determined. Yes I think so.

And you have wondered what they do all day. Do you greatly ponder what childminders do all day? Or did you think you had just come up with a really clever way of judging sahms?

scottishmummy we should!

once we have children we all have the same daily struggles ok in diffrent situations but they are there i would never think of myself as being superior to my sahm friends!

the thing that links mums is constant guilt.

Sahp is not a job.its not work