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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

I need some help with something! Please.

28 replies

Alouisee · 27/01/2012 21:50

Specifically from feminist perspective and because I know lots of you have facts at your fingertips and know how to deal with "things like this"

A family friend has been accused of inappropriate sexual activity with two women via his industries governing body. We only discovered this by reading a paper. It is also on the website for his industry.

He has form for this sort of behaviour, lots of affairs, several marriages. One of his affairs left my family dealing with one of his women over the telephone for hours at a time.

He has adult children (my friends) I was instrumental in the children hearing the news via one of my relatives. They were all devastated, despite his history.

He has now told all of his family that the two women involved in the current case are deranged and were led by each other. The family are adamant that they believe him.

I'm disgusted that despite everything that he has done over the years people are still willing to believe him and because they believe him I am expected to also.

Apologies for the vague details but until the final hearing is complete I don't want to be accused of jeopardising anything.

How can I point out that people are being manipulated by this man?

OP posts:
GertieGooseBoots · 27/01/2012 22:21

I think it is difficult when you are emotionally invested in someone accused of this sort of thing - of course you want to believe them, because if you can't believe what they say here what else does that challenge in terms of what they told you/what you believe? Too painful to contemplate - family can't have an objective viewpoint.

It sounds like his industry is well aware of the situation, the final ruling is pending... I think you may need to bite your tongue and wait for the final ruling. I'm not sure this is a feminist issue per se, if it's just his family that's denying what seems to be otherwise a fairly damning track record...? Just my view, happy to be contradicted.

Alouisee · 27/01/2012 22:09

Thanks Dworkin. It sounds so hopeless.

OP posts:
Dworkin · 27/01/2012 21:57

You can't, to simply answer your question. Although I too am appalled at the family response, in support of your view. That's all I can give. Men like this will always respond that the woman was at fault, derranged etc;.

I sympathasise but can offer nothing more than this. I blame the patriarchy.