What is the appeal of the 50s housewife thing?

Gah! 'Financial' typing in semi darkness is never a good idea.

Capitalism is not defined by the the 'act of exchanging labour for finacial remuneration' - Capitalism is the system by which the means of production are owned privately and controlled by a free market. It is possible to be paid for your labour in a socialist state but you would not be a wage slave working 'for the man' .

You need to get a better understanding of the defintions you bandy about SM - but heck what do I know I am a fluff brained 50's housewife.

Has anyone read the Nella Last diaries? They go from just before the war to the mid 1950s. She was a "perfect" housewife, and although she loved her sons and husband she wasn't exactly happy.

It's a shame because in her first diary she is smart and lively, and talks about things that she wants to do, like go travelling. Then over the years gets more and more tired and ground down, never goes travelling and doesn't even mention it anymore. Though that may be due to age rather than being a housewife, of course.

Let's face it if you were a housewife in the 50's you weren't going to get distracted from your chores by satellite tv,internet pornography or Call of Duty like so many of today's so called 'Housewives'.

my grandmother looked bloody amazing in her self-stitched 'Chanel' tea dress with tight-pleated and tiny-waisted full circle skirt. looking at the picture you'd think she did nothing but sip tea and attend Nice Parties.

she ran her own business and it was very, very hard work indeed. my Mum was their main employee and pair of hands. but the picture looks nice.

i suppose the appeal of the 'fifties' housewife is the idea that if all you had to do was housework, and all he had to do was earn money, it would be easier for both of you. But life isn't that simple. the fact that your husband has worked a 60 hour week wouldn't let him off for not picking up after himself. and just because all you had to do was housework, it wouldn't mean you'd actually stay on top of it. i think couples generally find things to be pissed off about regardless - or not - depending on the strength of relationship/ level of twattitude present. Fifties couples did too - but it doesn't show in the pictures...

I used to drink in a pub called 'The Socialist Laptop'!

Lol,you got an inadequate gasp on reality and politics
Socialism is redistributive,but here is the rub someone has to work to pay taxes,ni etc to redistribute.and the act of exchanging labour for financial remuneration...thats capitalism

The socialist laptop...priceless couldn't make that up

Women like Kirstie Allsopp, Gwyneth Paltrow etc who espouse being a 1950's style housewife, are actually independently wealthy. They worked for their money. Emma Bridgewater and Cath Kidson have built whole industries around this premise and the irony is that they too are independently wealthy.

I have a couple of friends who model(ed) themselves on this ideal. One is now divorced and struggling with the day to day elements of being a SAHM and is drinking. She had become so pampered and dependent that everyday chores leave her at a loss.

Another is actually not married, just living with the father of her children. He is successful but it turns out he has been secretly having an affair. She is beyond exposed and I cant understand why she put herself in this position without being married

I think you'll find that a lot of broadband,laptops,food and accommodation is paid for using Tax Credits,Child Benefit,Local Housing Allowance,Disability Allowance,Income Support,Child Maintenance and a host of other benefits.That would be Socialism.

I'm not that reductionist
What/who pays your broadband,laptop,fills fridge,pays accommodation
....errrrr at would be capitalism
so protest all you wish but your online.that ain't free.at some point labour exchanged for money

And most women wouldn't be able to work if they couldn't pay other women minimal wage to look after the children. After all someone has got to do it

But this isn't just a feminist issue, it is a very human one. Are we only valuable in so far as we can earn and climb the hierarchy?

And yes of course we need enough money to feed the family and have a roof over our head, but wealth is so unequally distributed that many work merely for luxury whilst the ones that are really struggling cannot work at all

Scottishmummy - people aren't mere economic units, although Capitalism would have you believe so

I am so damn sick of the SAHM/WOHM divide, it detracts from more important issues

No women in my family have ever been housewives.
All worked ft Inc me
It's a Middle class social construct.
Bares no reality to the work and contribution of working women
I have no idea why anyone would aspire to be economically inactive and Wee wifey 1950s style

I know, I find it hard to fit in all the fun too

Bonsoir: I'm not sure I like your tone.I AM a SAHM and it's not all sweetness and light.After I've been for a coffee with the girls and had my nails done there's hardly any time left in the day for doing the housework and before you know it it's teatime!

Ha ha amen to that bonsoir!

Because being a SAHM is really lovely if you have enough money to outsource the bits that bore you and you can just focus on all the bits you really enjoy all day!

As a single parent I am even more ambitious to boost my career than I was before dd as I realise that I cannot really rely on anyone else to bring in the goods. Sadly that means some sacrifice but I am willing to make those. I would like to have the option though.

Jollyboysmum - I think you should start a thread in the feminism topic so more people see it.
I am sure there are people who can help with your question but they may not all be on this thread.

Academic study calling! My head is now surfacing from 6 years of domestic duty, and I've been reading up on feminism, and would love to follow a (standalone?) course on Gender/Feminism. Has anyone got any experience they are keen to share? Local college doesn't offer anything, so I may take an OU course but can't see one specific to this area? I live in Sussex.

Maybe I didn't express myself clearly. What I meant was a lot of jobs have a stereotypical image that is very appealing - that's why I mentioned the image people have of teaching. Some of the people I trained with when I did my PGCE clearly had no idea of what teaching involved - they were looking at the job with rose tinted glasses, and yes they were disappointed when they actually started teaching and realised what was involved. What I was objecting to was the general implication in some of the posts that there is little or nothing positive about being a housewife and therefore anyone who does have a rose-tinted view of it is delusional. I had very high expectations of being housewife and I think the reality has actually surpassed those expectations, so having a positive view of the housewife's role isn't automatically a bad thing.

TheSmallClanger - I'm not sure what you mean when you say "Your argument is veering in the other direction" - could you elaborate?

I agree that having a career is valuable as it provides financial stability. However, relying on a career for security is no less risky than relying on a partner - a person can just as easily lose a job as they can lose a partner. As someone else said upthread, living your life as though breakup is inevitable - ie not relying on your partner for fear they will let you down - isn't necessarily the best way to live.

Cailin, your argument is veering in the other direction.

The value of having your own career is that you are able to support yourself and your children, without the need to depend on others (husband/partner/family/state) who may not always be there when needed.

Oh and I find the implication made by some people on this thread that if you stay at home it means you have no ambition and you want to be looked after by someone else really misogynistic. Women generally feel a strong attachment to their children and have a desire to be with them. If they are made to feel, by other women no less, that fulfilling that desire is somehow a cop out and a failure then how is that a positive thing from a feminist point of view? Surely it should be the case that any life choice a woman makes should be supported, even if it is a "traditional" one. It seems to me that the model for "success" is a male model - making lots of money, working up the career ladder, working long hours to gain prestige. There seems to an attitude that traditionally "female" things, such as having and looking after children, need to just fit in around careers, and that without a career you're not a success, you're automatically trapped and unhappy. I can see why being a SAHM wouldn't appeal to every woman, but to imply that it's just an invalid choice full stop is very narrow minded IMO.

It would be just as pertinent a question to ask "What is the appeal of the being a doctor thing" or "the being a teacher thing." Being a "housewife" is a job, like any other job. It has a certain image and people who haven't actually done the job have beliefs about what it's like, when in fact the reality can be quite different. Many people believe teaching is a cakewalk, you have long holidays, you're lord and master of your own classroom etc. In reality it has its stresses and downsides like any other job, some people are good at it and others are not. However, because being "housewife" is a woman's job it tends to be looked at with derision, even by other women. Kirsty Allsop has made a programme about what it's like to be a woman interested in craft, Jamie Oliver has made a programme about teaching teenagers. Both of them present an unrealistic view of the actual job of being a "crafty" mum or a teacher. Both of them are primarily intended to be entertainment.

I'm a SAHM. I'm completely dependent on my husband for money, the way a teacher is completely dependent on the LEA for money. If my husband left me I'd have to go on the dole, the same way a teacher would have to go on the dole if he/she lost his/her job. I am sick of having to justify myself to people who question why I'm a SAHM - I don't ask other people to justify why they're doctors or lawyers or scientists. Staying at home, looking after my child and running the house is my job. It can be shit but on the whole I love it and I feel very lucky to have my dream occupation. Not many people can say that. I don't aspire to a "50s housewife" I just aspire to do my job well, same as anyone else.