My Feminist Fail

i have asked a fit man to get my bag down from the high shelf on the train (when i was quite capable of getting it down myself) just so i could watch him.

Oh I own tons and tons of frankly disgusting underwear.

Disgusting in a good way.

I own a corset (properly fitted) and wish that it was still possible to wear 18th century clothing. I want long skirts.

But I also want DH to wear 18th c clothing cos he'd look hot in breeches

MrsC - thank you for explaining. I would be more appropriately called MsPenPusher nowadays, but like to think of myself as a chemist still.

Himalaya - my DD(5) plays with lego etc more than DS (7), although he has Asperger's and coordination problems and finds the whole concept quite hard. DD loves building either structured kits using instructions or just inventing stuff out of a pile of bricks. DD is also very pink and girly . She likes Hot Wheels too.

Arctic - thanks. I had no interest in cars and garages as a kid but loved construction toys too. So I do know that girls like building stuff...but I guess I have also imbibed the message that regular construction toys don't appeal to girls nowadays - hence pink magnetix, Lego Friends etc...

I don't want to pass on our shoe boxes full of much loved Knex rubble to someone who is going to think it is old junk. I guess if i was giving it to someone with boys I would just dump the boxes with them and trust that their boys would see the potential, whereas as I want to pass them on to someone with girls I will wait for the opportunity to sit around building with them and see if they get enthused.

I have still not managed after many years together to get DP to do half the mental organising about housework etc, in principle we both agree that we share it all but in real life I'm the organised one who manages the show. In my Ideal Feminist Life this wouldn't happen.

Himalaya, my dds like construction sets. They don't like toy cars and garages (but who can blame them, cars are boring) but they love building things. Lego and magnetix have been things they've all played with for years.

I despise the labelling and marketing of toys as 'for boys' and 'for girls'

I have two boys who had kitchens, dolls, knitting sets etc...when younger and have also been through a lot of construction toys (lego, knex, magnetix, lincoln logs etc...)..I love construction toys (more than DH..).

I am having a clear out and have boxed up a load of old construction sets. I want to hand them down to some younger kids, who will appreciate them.

My problem is I cant imagine any of my friends' little girls really liking them (they are all quite pink and girlie-girlie) and I don't want to just give them to someone with boys just because they are 'boys toys'.

So at the moment they are just in boxes making me feel bad.

1. I have a secret collection of cute animal pictures. Mainly dogs with a few monkeys. Sometimes I think 'oh I need a look at my 'collection' and it makesme feel better about life....ffs!

1. Until I find a suitable replacement for balls, bollocks and dick, I continue to use phrases such as 'why did I get his balls' and totally dickless. I like not having a dick as they are fairly ugly looking imo, but the symbolism works un a way that I cannot replace using better language

I have been known to watch Toddlers and Tiaras.

But I watch it through my fingers and shout at the screen. Is that a feminist fail?

My feminist fail -

We (DP and I) need a new car. I have zero interest in cars, and intend to leave the car choice almost entirely up to him. I will test drive a short list he compiles, and get him to give me a rundown on the finance side, but apart from that, I don't give a damn. I know it is a significant financial commitment that I really should be interested in, but, Meh.

I like chicklit and chickflicks.. oh and I often devise pro con lists in my head over who to choose: Edward or Jacob. Oops did I share too much?

My feminist fail is my use of the saying "Don't be such a girl," or "You big girl's blouse," whenever someone (of either gender) is displaying irrational weakness such as fear of a spider. The words just fall out of my mouth but I could kick myself everytime I say them.

I allow myself to be called 'Mrs Harry'...(Harry is my DH's first name) by the taxi drivers in my area...I actually find it quite sweet

Oh and I love 2 and half Men..fucking brilliant...but only with Charlie

I would shag Howard from Take That.

I know, I know.

Huh. I work for a women's magazine.

Beat that, eh.

WhoKnows I'm a geoscientist (studying) so do occasionally foray into the world of chemistry, but I can't say it's my favourite subject.

I could make a stand and be MsGeoscientist, but it doesn't sound as good.

That's alright. I'm thinking aloud. I made the first post thinking of all the clever feminist women I know. Then I remembered all the drippy women who post on the NCT facebook page saying things like "I don't want paternity leave changed because I WANT to stay at home with my baby and dh is a great father but he's just not a mum is he?".

As if having the option to choose would mean that those in "traditional relationships" would not be able to carry on exactly as before but those of us who do not want to will not have to.

Sorry, Isla, hadn't read your second post properly before I posted mine.

Sorry isla, I keep cross-posting with you!

victoria - yes, I enjoy that too.

MrsChemist - I like your name (I am a chemist), have always wondered if you were really one too!.

I used a MN nickname starting with Mrs for a long time as a bit of a decoy / ironic gesture because I only use Ms in real life, but felt a bit silly arguing against the use of Mrs with it in my nickname.

Yes. That's why I made my second post.

I agree with LRD: it's an issue of inequality that childcare is seen as women's responsibility because they're women, which in my view makes it a feminist issue. It's largely women who've been pushing for more and longer paternity leave, precisely because of the structural discrimination that you describe.

I like the fact that I look the exact opposite of what people would expect from a feminist. It gives me greater shock factor when I come out with a killer line.

But surely if childcare is seen as your responsibility because you're a woman, it is the very opposite of an issue of equality?

But even my example is flawed because gender roles are so enshrined in our consciousness that many women feel they should be at home and many men feel they should not.

I do think changing either the perception of what the gender role should be or changing the infrastructure would help achieve the same objective. Ideally both.