Husband abandoned me while 4 months pregnant,due march. Now he is divorcing.

breaktime if they are still married when the baby is born, he will get parental responsibility whether or not his name is on the birth certificate.

But if the divorce has been finalised, then this is good advice.

Make a record of all the abuse. It gives evidence and you will need it

I'm sorry you are going through this

Hi. He sounds horrendous. A bit of legal advice you must follow: DON'T PUT HIS NAME ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE. This will restrict his legal right to parental responsibility (a requirement to be consulted on major decisions in the child's life, etc) and make it a lot harder for him to establish shared residence.

From what you say about this guy he will not be able to cope with a baby anyway and breastfeeding has to be respected by the courts however ludicrously 'father-friendly' they feel they have to be...so he would not get any more than short visits, probably at a contact centre if you don't want him to have access to your home due to your fear of his violence.

If you don't want him to have any contact at all, I agree with other posters- don't tell him where you live, claim maintenance through the CSA (as he will be the legal father) and refuse to give him parental responsibility. He would then have to go to court to try to get that. He may give up at that point or he may well shaft himself trying to prove he could be the caring father he clearly isn't.

He sounds very controlling, and you might need specialist help. Try ringing Women's Aid 0808 2000 247 or click here for info.

Your local police station will also have a specialist officer you can talk to (without it necessarily being an emergency situation).

Make a safety plan. Keep a small bag packed and ready to leave for place of safety at anytime. Include copies of key documents (birth certificates, passport etc) also leave a copy of these with a friend or family member so if you need to leave with nothing this is also possible.

If he abusive you don't have to see him or have him know were you are living. If he gets access to your child, you can do this via a contact centre (see here). You can use a contact centre for supervised access and to hand over for non-supervised contact.

If it really is the money that is the issue, and you can afford to, don't push for it. My ex and I split up when I was pregnant with DS1. I never asked for any money, as I knew he would try to use it to control us. I just gave his details to the CSA and they tried and failed so he has never paid a penny. I never pushed for contact (didn't deny it either) and he gave up within a year. So he is now completely out of our lives, thankfully

Keep a diary of everything that happends, especially the threats. You may need the evidence later on.

Hope things go well

Have you talked to your GP or midwife about this? It would be good for starters to tell them about the history of physical and psychological abuse against you and what has happened since you found out you were pregnant. It would be beneficial to have as much as possible documented now, explaining that before you felt too frightened to disclose what was happening to you.

Are you living apart now? It's important to ensure you are safe from any further harm. Women's Aid would be useful for support and advice, including pointing you in the direction of a lawyer who understands the situation. If there are still threats of violence going on, don't hesitate in reporting this to the police. If he has threatened violence against you and/or the unborn child, it's likely that any future contact with the baby (if he's even interested) will be supervised to reduce risk. That will be later on so perhaps not the first thing to think about. Your safety is.

He will have parental responsibilities toward your child, but as others have said, you may need to resort to CSA or negotiate through a lawyer to get a financial contribution for your child.

The way ahead won't necessarily be easy, but at least he is more or less out of your life so you can feel safe and get on with being the best mum to your babe that you can. Take good care and hang in there.

Once the baby is born he will have to pay maintenance, get the CSa involved and do it through them.

Do you think he's likely to want anything to do with the baby once he or she is born?

In the mean time if he threatens you, etc then do tell the police. Have you got a solicitor yet for the divorce?

I remember you from when he first left, hope you're feeling a bit better now. You and your baby will be fine.

Oh you sound so upset and worried. I hope you are OK. Can I just clarify has the baby been born yet? I am just not understanding the middle bit about maintenance and his solicitor.

But basically you are/will be primary carer. So you will have the majority of custody especially in the early days. He will be required to provide money to you, however if he isn't willing then you will probably need to go through the CSA.

Hopefully someone with more knowledge than me will be along to help. I think you need a hug though!