anyone feel uncomfortable about Military Wives Choir?

Article in the Guardian, which I expect many have already seen, but it is good and so relevant I thought I'd link:

www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/dec/21/the-real-military-wives

Compassion starts with putting your gun down and refusing ever to pick it up.

ah edith, thank you

that paper, if iirc, discusses alcohol use in terms of post deployment and mental health... mine would go much much further, and focus rather on the use of alcohol as a positive, nay, compulsory part of ordinary military life... from integral part of training and beyond...

i love kings. but they are rather a tool, in the nicest possible way. that might be slightly unfair...

This is the study I mean.

< Apologies as this is miles away from the issue of the OP, I didn't intend to hijack, but realise I probably have >

pizza the Kings College people have possibly pre-empted your dream PhD about the use of alcohol. I'll try to find and link the piece I'm thinking of, but off the top of my head it found that alcohol abuse (specifically alcohol, owing to the military's attitude to and enforcement of zero tolerance to other substances) was a major factor in later troublesome behaviour - outweighing by far PTSD in terms of both numbers affected and extent of detrimental effect. And downstream problems leading to eg homelessness and incarceration (I don't think it examined DV, as that's not been AFAIAA much studied in UK - though thanks to posters who signposted in particular the Canadian work).

Sounds eminently sensible to me, possibly not long enough for some but better than nothing. The mind-shift must be horrendous & in some cases as we have sadly heard , very destructive.

Not sure the show tonight was.celebrating imperialism. It was.more about individual acts of courage and compassion

Re decompression when you come back.

I am told that they basically used to chuck them in an area with a load of alcohol, to fight, cry, rebond whatever. For.7 days. I think they have found that 2 days is enough now, and just keep them in,transit (cyprus) on their way home.

Erm, if you did bother to read the thread, you might stop being so rude to the military wives who're posting on it, mightn't you?

thunder - yep, exactly ... something I found awkward, though not sure why, is a mate saying he felt he had to fight to 'liberate the women of Afghanistan' and therefore I 'had' to support him - does that make any sense? I can't put my finger on why it annoyed me but it had a certain 'knight in shining armour' arrogance to it and I felt like that about the 'prince of peace' line in the song, too - it's talking about these men using a term that usually describes Jesus, and it does seem so out of place. I know the words were from the women's letters but what the image it creates of the soldiers really makes me feel uncomfortable.

If I were horribly cynical, I'd suspect that song was actually intended to divide opinion (the least helpful thing for women in need of support).

Sorry, I haven't had time to read all this thread, but I do think the OP is being slightly insulting the the women in the choir. They may be doctors, solicitors, mothers, who knows. I presume they are all strong women. What binds them together though in this case is the fact that they have a husband or boyfriend who is a serving member of the military. That is why they formed the choir and that is why the name of the choir is fitting. It does not negate all the other things they are. Why look for a problem with something that has provided a lot of happienss to a great many people and been a great source of strength and pride for these women?

Well that's generally how it's promoted as if rape of a woman or girl is just a way of one man to make a point to another. But if you look at it more closely, the men aren't really at war with each other, they are declaring war on women. Including using rape as a weapon during their wars. Most victims of war are women and children.

thunder - and (hazy memory here of something SGM or someone on here said), isn't there that thing about how rape in times of war is part of the 'subdue the enemy' process?

Oh, that makes sense pizza, if one is deliberate and the other not. I do TBH find it worrying that people should be picked for their ability deliberately to do that.

I think that's a very accurate analysis LRD and I don't think that prostitution use is a derail either pizza. A lot of armies have organised prostituted women for their soldiers e.g. comfort women in Japan, or massive prostitution industries in the Philippines and Korea for US soldiers.

I'm just yelling at the TV because they appear to be having an awards ceremony for soldiers. WTF are we doing celebrating imperialism? Sickening.

Oh gaawd don't get me started on what the govt should provide... whole other rant .thank god there are charities like that.

v similar, i think. not really thought about it before, but i think one can be deliberate, whereas the other one is more subconscious? operate similarly though, protection of self from unfortunate truths etc...

oh, alcohol.

that's decompression right there, that is. and bonding. and... urgh. i could spend hours pondering compulsory drinking in the military.

'Personally although I often disagree with the politics that send our forces into conflicts, I see that as different to acknowledging the hardships of the deployed and their families.'

I agree. I think it's really important.

pizza - is compartmentalizing the same as cognitive dissonance? I guess they must be very close if they're not the same thing.

yy, bb for sure. which is why i have no particular issue in this choir context. other than ssafa and the rbl provide some of the support that the govt should be providing through othermeans.

i know this is a truly random de-rail, but it's similar to use of prostitution too. 's'ok with a whore, but you wouldn't do that with yer wife. (or even tell yer wife)

I'm sure there are a range of emotions & conflicting views on the politics of the job they do within every echelon of any armed forces.

Personally although I often disagree with the politics that send our forces into conflicts, I see that as different to acknowledging the hardships of the deployed and their families.

nomad not judgemental really given the coffers of the RBL & SSAFA are the ones getting a lot of the benefit! (& the record producers natch)

it's called 'back in time for tea and medals' thunder

Yes, I think it does thunder.

I find it scary because it sounds like exactly the same 'skill' those men have who are violent to their wives but 'a lovely guy' to everyone else.

I don't mean that anyone who can compartmentalize and do violence in one context is necessarily going to be violent in another, but I can't help find it disturbing. And the examples my mate gives when she's recruiting really are sometimes nasty - probably about 90% of the people she deals with are perfectly nice but the other 10% would frighten you.

compartmentalising ends you up in therapy. well, the over-spill does.

Does compartmentalising mean that they can kill someone in the morning and go for a beer with their mates in the evening?

No need to worry about supporting the military in the Women's Rights section.