<SIGH> Come hold my hand and tell me to speak up

Brilliant!

Very good Boffinmum.

Result

Banter. The technical term for the act of being a cunt.

Swagger!

Oh, that is good!

So it sounds as if you weren't the only one thinking along those lines (though I do hate the term 'banter', it seems mainly to be used by juvenile blokes trying to excuse unfunny comments).

excellent...i looked up overbearing because i started to wonder precisely what the word meant and google came up with 'walked with a prideful swagger'.

Norma - heres hoping you walk with a prideful swagger!

Tbh I would leave out the last sentence "never used looks as criteria...".

I think it turns it back round to being a joke, and they may take your request less seriously. It also kind of devalues your argument; you are asking them not to make comments based on looks, and then you do it yourself.

Don't feel like you have to conform and make this into something lighthearted when that's not the way you feel. You are pissed off, you have every right to be, and you have every right to bloody say it too!

i like the general approach & agree with LRD's coments.

however well you write this, there may be resistance to your stance, so you need to be prepared to stand your ground.

Maybe instead of 'I am going to ask the guys' you could say 'I am asking'? It sounds more assertive IMO.

Personally, I wouldn't say it was making me uncomfortable, I'd say it was inappropriate (because otherwise it sounds as if you're saying it's a matter of personal taste).

But I am only quibbling. I think the reasons 1-3 come across very well.

I like BoffinMum's better especially the Mankinis

LOL Sardine, of course!

She needs to get that message across.

The point these men always miss is that if a woman is going to "pick a hottie" it's going to be a fit bloke (assuming she's straight).

They wouldn't be so keen if they engaged their logical faculties for one second and realised that now would then. In fact many of them would be horrified and it would make them feel very uncomfortable.

I am not convinced they realise they are being sexist. You seem to be regarded as one of the blokes and they are 'aving a larf, as one says.

Like others, I would respond with something like, "I can't pick a hottie because she'd be better looking than you rotten lot, and we would have to up the ante, and trade you lot all in for something more decorative to keep standards up. Now go and make me a coffee, one of you ugly sods, before the political correctness police hear about all this and make you wear mankinis to work to teach you a lesson". Everyone would laugh and you would have put them back in their boxes.

Usually works.

BTW recently when we asked to put people forward for honorary degrees, we wrote down all the fit guys we could think of and googled them to find out if they were from the local area (one of the criteria applied). This is definitely sexist but so what? We had just got fed up of boring old white bearded blokes getting all the gigs and wanted to widen the gene pool.

I had this in a London media company I worked for. The male managers used to print out photos from potential female candidates' MySpace profiles and pass them round for grading. I was young and naive at the time so didn't speak up, but I now wish I had.

I used to manage a majority male team and a bit of this was going on. One day I said "I'm sorry, have I accidentally stumbled into the Sky Sports studio? Remember what happened to those sexist bastards..." Was enough to put a stop to it, in front of me anyway.

""Shame they didn't apply that policy when they hired you"

hahahahahahahaha

Yes, good luck - I do like notquitenormal's response above, would that be worth trying?

Nothing to add but best of luck with it - will be sending feministy good vibes your way on Friday.

I've had this.

I was interviewing earlier in the year and the post was eventually offered to a young women. A few of the young men kept asking if she was fit, why didn't I interview her in the office meeting rooms so they could see what she looks like, what's her name (so they could check her out on facebook.)

Eventually I told them that was she wasn't coming here to be entertainment for them and I didn't think their jokes were very funny.

Another manager made some silly comment a couple of years ago that it would be so much better if all CVs came in with photos so he could build himself a little hareem. The silence round the table was extrucuating. He 'left to seek other oppurtunities' a month or so later. Asshole.

My stock answer now, to anyone, is to say with a big old smile 'why do you think I would find this funny? I just find it offensive.'