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Original poster

Pester power: my 4 yo really wants Barbie, what to do?

107 replies

Greythorne · 17/11/2011 13:52

i know it's not the most taxing question on the feminism board, but how would you handle this?

DD1 has never had Barbie, although various Polly Pockets and Strawberry Shortcake dolls have made their way into our house :)

I just feel so strongly that Barbie is a terrible representation of the female body, i.e. She's completely out of proportion, her hips are impossibly thin, her waist ridiculous etc. And that's before we start on the predominantly pink outfits, the emphasis on appearance etc.

I know children enjoy role playing via dolls and recognise the developmental need to play house, play parent, play at setting up a little imaginary world. And so I have steered DD1 towards.....Sylvanian Families, which, while heavy on gender clichés feature animals rather than fetishised female forms.

But of course all her friends have Barbie. And Barbie is everywhere.

Just one more instance to chalk up to be being "well-intentioned but (perceived by child as) evil mummy?

OP posts:
AMumInScotland · 17/11/2011 14:31

FWIW I don't think a single toy is going to be the major factor in how you raise your child. In the same way that there aren't "bad foods" but you can certainly have a "bad diet", one Barbie doll amongst a range of toys and activities is not going to counteract the other messages you give her about positive body-image, gender stereotyping, or anything else. I was just looking at Barbie, because of the Sindy thread, and you can get doctor, vet and racing driver versions, which do at least have a role in life beyond looking pretty.

Original poster
Greythorne · 17/11/2011 14:30

Gosh, I am surprised by your responses!
Maybe I am overthinking / over reacting :)
But i really can't get my head round it.......

OP posts:
ElderberrySyrup · 17/11/2011 14:30

In my experience, at 4 they are so excited by what you actually get them for Xmas that they don't get disappointed about what they didn't get. Maybe it is different when they're older.

Also once they start having birthday parties they will get almost nothing but pink girly stuff from their friends, so IMO it is the parent's job to provide the counterbalance.

SardineQueen · 17/11/2011 14:26

In all honesty? I would probably just get her one. Or say to her relatives that she'd like one for xmas/birthday and that way it's not you buying it!

I think (as milly says) you can get ones that are doing worthy stuff so maybe one of those? TBH though if she wants a barbie she probably wants a pink one!

IHeartKingThistle · 17/11/2011 14:18

Lurking as I have the exact same issue.

I was thinking of getting the brunette one in the long dress or the vet but even then I would feel like I'm going against what I believe in. DH says she's just a little girl that wants a dolly. I'm Confused.

MillyR · 17/11/2011 14:14

Barbie's body has changed (not sure about in the US but definitely in the UK). She does not have the deformed body she had when I was a child. Her body is somewhere near to the realms of perfect but plausible now.

There are a variety of different kinds of similar dolls, so you do not have to buy Barbie. DD has High School Musical dolls and Hairspray dolls (including Tracy who is overweight). These may be more acceptable dolls.

You could also choose a particular Barbie occupation set, rather than a very pink dressy one. There is a vets set out at the moment I think. The sister sets are also out, and there are 3 or 4 younger sisters to Barbie, which you mind find more appropriate.

I'll shut up now, as I sound like I work for Hasbro!

ElderberrySyrup · 17/11/2011 13:57

my approach to this kind of thing is not to ban but not to buy it for her myself either.