Pester power: my 4 yo really wants Barbie, what to do?

ok, I wasn't allowed barbies as a child, and I'm pretty much the only woman I know who hasn't got body issues of some kind. Just saying.

have they got sensible shoes?

'I can be' ones have been really popular the last few years. Tesco and toys r us sell some of the chefs, teachers, vets and drs. Snowboarder and driver a pretty common too. Argos sells lots of them but in typical argos style you can't choose which one you get. Architect and computer technician are new. Ebay and Amazon sell the less common ones.

70?

That's enough to stage a military coup and take control of your house. I hope you haven't got any Action Men up there who might turn into arms dealers.

There are approx. 70 barbies in my loft, DD went through a phase with them, she's got a dozen or so of the special ones like Mulan that I'm hoping will be worth a fortune in the future .
The majority of them are career type ones like vet, doctor, dentist etc. I'm talking 15 years ago so have no idea what current dolls are like.

I think that as long as children have a wide variety of toys to play with , it's fine, she also had hundreds of toy cars / model planes etc.

I do thoroughly dislike all this pink and fluffy princess shit that's appeared in the last few years, things were a lot more gender neutral when DD was small, I suppose that's marketing for you.

Where can you get all these? Our local toyshop only has the fairy princessy mermaidy stuff.

"her career is limited to fairy, mermaid, princess or nursery teacher"

A few years ago yes but not atm.

chef - different kinds
vet- lots of different ones
snowboarder
driver
computer technician
architect
teacher - different kinds
newsreader
skier
olympic gymnast
lifeguard
Paleontologist
nurse
police officer

there are still the more passive/frivolous ones too, babysitter, cheerleader, dancer, movie star etc. and they manage to prettify everything (police officer barbie has def modified her uniform ) but I personally wouldn't want them to make the 'serious' barbies significantly less appealing than the frivolous ones because I don't want my dd to think that interesting stuff is only for people who don't care what they look like. It just reinforces the pretty airhead or plain but bright stereotype.

I wouldn't buy my DD one - especially aged 4. As ES says there is no need to prop up this image by actively buying her one. She doesn't need one and I am sure that there are other things that she would like. She is likely to be overwhelmed with presents anyway.

I wouldn't take this so seriously. I bought a barrel of Barbies and all their Barbie crap (about 20 dolls) for 20 pounds in a charity / junk shop. The most fun my daughter had was the day she gave them all rather drastic haircuts, but they have also been decapitated and melted for art projects by her older brothers.

If you think Barbies are awful, have you seen Bratz doll... just saying like.....

Barbies are quite generic and although I dont think they are ideal, for dd they are just hand sized dolls to manipulate (An undress- NEVER dress!). Bratz with their stick like bodies and massive heads make me feel a bit sick though.

I mean, why waste your hard-earned money on it? You don't have to declare a Barbie-free zone and upset well-meaning friends and relatives who thought it would be a lovely present and only want to make her happy, but you don't have to prop the whole thing up yourself, do you?

You might have to pick your battles and yes it's not the only thing that will influence her, but I cannot think of a single reason why you should buy her the Barbie.
Yes she wants one, but then my dd wants loads of stuff, whatever the last advert was on Milkshake or CITV usually.

I would let her have it. I used to enjoy my Sindy dolls back in my childhood, they came dressed for ballet but mine spent a lot of time camping, abseiling etc. And it didn't deter my sister and me from becoming pretty hardcore feminists.

Similarly my dds have had a few barbies, none of them played very much with them but again the Barbies spent their time in various pursuits, not just as fashion victims. My older 2 dds are spectacularly uninterested in fashion and clothes. I know the arguments against Barbie but she can be played with just as a doll.

I would suggest that sometimes you have to choose your battles! And yes, you want to avoid what you said in your OP if possible, ""well-intentioned but (perceived by child as) evil mummy?"

Her receiving a Barbie Doll will not undo all the good work that takes place all year round. It's likely that many who post here will also have had a Barbie Doll at some point in their lives, and look how rounded and, er, well-balanced they've all turned out, ahem.

I'll get my coat...

buy her a Barbie

The thing about Barbie is that its not just the doll, its everything that comes with it that doesn't come with other 'fashion' dolls e.g. the argos doll.

To start with the range of dolls/clothing alone is massive, then there is barbie clothing, DVDs, CDs, bedlinen, shoes, curtains, lamps, lampshades, blankets, plates, cutlery, carseats, books, stickers, hairbands, pencil cases, stationary etc.

With other dolls there isn't the sheer immersibility and branding, that recognisable name and its power. Pretty much whatever your child wants and needs can be found with that desirable Barbie logo and even if you don't want to go down that route you are setting yourself up for some pestering. You have to be pretty strong to stop at just one doll. And the majority of the tie in stuff is pink or purple.

I personally find that all more objectionable than her unrealistic figure.

I've had just the same dilemma but then saw the design a friend dolls at Argos which Matronalia linked to. dd loves the look of them and there are loads of outfits and accessory sets that rellys can buy. If you google them the reviews are very good. dd is going to get one for her birthday next week so I'll happily report back.

or chef

What about getting her the racing driver one, or the snowboarder of chef. Architect barbie and computer engineer barbie are only available in America atm but you can get them on ebay.

I think you can do more harm by the things you deny them sometimes. She'll have moved on by the time shes 9 or 10. Dont make it a big deal. Get one from a car boot, at least then you're not boosting the market for plastic tat. Giving a toy a new home, saving from landfill. Would that balance the karma?

If its the Barbie thing (for me its all the additional branding and merchandise rather than the actual doll) you could look at Liv dolls instead e.g.

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0038OMF76/ref=asc_df_B0038OMF765280774?smid=A2K41X34GYD6V9&tag=googlecouk06-21&linkCode=asn&creative=22218&creativeASIN=B0038OMF76

or this from Argos

www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/9363126/Trail/searchtext%3EDOLL.htm

DD was never interested but DS is, so I have been looking at these sorts of things for Xmas.