Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Unflip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Unflip

1 2 3

Original poster

"We need to talk about dad"

61 replies

SardineQueen · 16/11/2011 20:00

I just saw a trailer for this on C4. Don't know if I will watch it but the topic is obviously going to be DV and I thought that some on here might be interested to see how it is all approached.

OP posts:

bibbitybobbitybloodyaxe · 17/11/2011 12:25

Well ... his brain did malfunction, didn't it? It didn't prevent him from hitting his wife on the head with an axe. He obviously had the thought and the normal brain functioning that helps us control our inappropriate impulses didn't work on that occasion. In other words, the fact that he did it is more or less proof of a brain malfunction. I think.

Original poster

SardineQueen · 17/11/2011 12:19

How do you know that is what happened to this man?

Why do you assume that he is innocent, as it was a brain malfunction, rather than he just felt like whacking his wife around the head with an axe?

OP posts:

fewcloudy · 17/11/2011 12:15

any particular diagnoses I meant to say.

fewcloudy · 17/11/2011 12:14

I have seen may people where an event has occured that they cannot explain and medicine has never really got to the bottom of. No trauma to the head etc but one day do something out of the blue that does not fit with any particular. This example is extreme, affects others etc. but there are many others that are not so news worthy or interesting/shocking to make a tv programme about.

Original poster

SardineQueen · 17/11/2011 12:13

What I took away from the trailer was that the program was about how a family cope in the aftermath of an event that changes everything.

OP posts:

Original poster

SardineQueen · 17/11/2011 12:12

Have you seen the program fewcloudy, or do you know the people involved?

OP posts:

bibbitybobbitybloodyaxe · 17/11/2011 12:12

The headlines about this are a little bit deceptive - yes, she took him back, but it only lasted 6 months. They aren't together now.

fewcloudy · 17/11/2011 12:07

Connections but also common sense. 'Truly apologized'? Apologized as much as you or I would do for something that you have no idea why you did it, and to the one you love, over and over again. The reason the program has been made is because it's so bizarre and off the wall and the implication is it could happen to you, me, anyone. Like many psychiatric episodes, non-sensicle and inexplicable. Work in psychiatry and experience of aquired brain injury.

Original poster

SardineQueen · 17/11/2011 12:06

I wonder if people on here know more about this than me? I had only seen teh trailer and just now read that article.

If poeple don't know more than me I would be really interested in understanding why people are immediately assuming it was a personality change caused by a brain injury (ie not really his fault) and also the idea that "of course" he has "truly apologised".

Are people saying these things from a position of knowledge, or assuming them? If people are assuming them - why? Rather than assuming any of the alternatives?

OP posts:

eminencegrise · 17/11/2011 12:03

She wanted to keep her family together? He destroyed it when he picked up that axe. I would have refused to live with them anymore and gone to court about it, had I been 16. I'd have been too afraid to be the next target of his next psychotic episode. If I were younger, I'd probably have run away.

Original poster

SardineQueen · 17/11/2011 12:00

"Psychiatric reports suggested that Nick had undergone a temporary psychotic episode triggered by the recent death of his father, whom he held responsible for his sister's suicide many years before. "

"He still grapples with whether his dad's attack was pre-meditated, or a momentary mental aberration."

I don't think anyone expect the husband really knows what happened, from that. Maybe the program will reveal more.

OP posts:

Original poster

SardineQueen · 17/11/2011 11:58

It's interesting that so many people are assuming it was a transient personality changing brain injury when in fact it wasn't, though.

OP posts:

Original poster

SardineQueen · 17/11/2011 11:58

In the article it says it wasn't a brain injury though.

OP posts:

Original poster

SardineQueen · 17/11/2011 11:57

How do you know what he has or hasn't said, fewcloudy?

In the article it says they have never really got to the bottom of what happened, why he did it.

What i find really strange is that the younger child was kept in the dark - making the older child who was 16 when it happened keep a secret like that from his sibling seems terribly wrong to me.

OP posts:

Hullygully · 17/11/2011 11:56

my friend works as a case manager for people with acquired brain injury (car accidents etc). Personality change is the norm.

fewcloudy · 17/11/2011 11:53

"I can believe she took him back, That think about rollinbg his eyes when mentioned would make me want to hit him, I wonder if he's ever truly apologised."

What a strange post. Yes of course he has

And presumably you meant "I can't" rather than "I can"?

Original poster

SardineQueen · 17/11/2011 11:34

Thanks for posting that article, bue.

OP posts:

rollonchristmas · 17/11/2011 10:38

I can believe she took him back, That think about rollinbg his eyes when mentioned would make me want to hit him, I wonder if he's ever truly apologised.

Bue · 16/11/2011 20:59

There was an article about this film yesterday in the Guardian, including an interview with the older son. I don't think they actually know what happened to him to make him attack his wife - the wife thinks it was a random psychotic episode.

Ah, article here: www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/nov/14/dad-attacked-mum-with-axe

Original poster

SardineQueen · 16/11/2011 20:45

I'll bet. And it's the volunteers like you who can make such a difference - knowing that the person assisting you is doing so voluntarily rather than because it's their job can be important somehow. Not that people who do it for a job don't do a good job - I hope YKWIM

OP posts:

madwomanintheattic · 16/11/2011 20:42

it's amazing, actually - i'm always blown away by what people can achieve given the opportunity. very inspiring!

Original poster

SardineQueen · 16/11/2011 20:39

It's great that you give your time in the way that you do

OP posts:

Original poster

SardineQueen · 16/11/2011 20:39

I'll bet it's been a hard and interesting learning curve madwoman! We go in more for physical disabilities over here. I was in and out of hospital as a child and knew children with things like CP, spina bifida and various brain and physical problems - it was an interesting time and I often wonder what happened to the children I knew back then!

OP posts:

madwomanintheattic · 16/11/2011 20:33

lol elderberry i will take the frying pan to dh forthwith. but i think you are right re the urban myth 'cure'...

it's interesting sq. i had no idea what was in store really, and if someone had said to me when i was, ooo, i dunno, just17 that a good ten years of my life would be dedicated to brain injury, i wouldn't have believed them. funny how life works out!

Original poster

SardineQueen · 16/11/2011 20:31

I'm sorry to hear that buzz.

I guess we will find out whether the program is about that or not when it is aired!

OP posts:

Unflip

1 2 3